A sincere and effective apology can educate and edify children with excellent quality, re-establish and restore normal relations with children, and turn crises into opportunities. Some psychologists believe that when apology becomes a way of life, interpersonal relationships will be harmonious and healthy, and people will get the acceptance, support and encouragement they need.
42. 1? Current misunderstanding
Some teachers and parents never say "sorry" to their children. It may be because they are not used to it, or it may be a matter of face. Even if they are really wrong, they are just making excuses for themselves. Over time, what children learn from it is to find reasons for mistakes. In fact, as long as people make mistakes, whether they are children or adults.
42.2? Classic example
This is a letter that has sensationalized the world for a hundred years. This is a masterpiece of apology. It is a typical textbook for parents all over the world. This is a tearful letter written by an American father in front of his son's bed:
Listen, kid! When you are asleep, I want to say a word to you: A few minutes ago, when I was reading a newspaper in my study, a feeling of self-blame overwhelmed me and made me breathless. I came to you with a very guilty heart. I think too much.
Son, I was too rough with you. You get dressed and go to school. I scold you because you only brush your face. I lost my temper with you because you didn't clean your shoes; You accidentally dropped something, and I yelled at you again. I found many mistakes at breakfast: you threw things on the ground, you wolfed down your food, you put your elbows on the table, and your bread was covered with too thick butter. When you go to school and I catch the train to work, you shout to me affectionately: goodbye, dad! I frowned and shouted at you: Why are you hunched over again? Stand up! In the evening, it all started again. On my way home from work, I saw you playing marbles on your knees. Your socks have several holes, and I can't help but get angry again: socks are bought with money, so I don't know how painful it is! And bring you home in front of your friends and humiliate you in public.
Do you remember, son? In the evening, I read the newspaper alone in the study. You came in timidly, and your eyes looked wronged. I saw you in the newspaper, and I was impatient with your interruption. You hesitated at the door for a long time. I finally couldn't help shouting: What are you doing here again? At this time, I never expected that you didn't speak, but suddenly rushed over and kissed me on the neck with tears in your eyes. I can't believe I'm so rude that I can't stop your love for your father! Then you gave me a big hug with your little arm and walked away at a brisk pace.
You know what, son? As soon as you left the study, the newspaper fell from my hand to the ground, and a strong sense of guilt and fear welled up in my heart. Habits really hurt me, and the habit of finding fault and reprimanding has almost become all the symbols of father's love. Son, it's not that dad doesn't love you, but that he expects too much of you! I ask you by the standards of adults, and it is a standard that many adults can't do. Think how ridiculous it is, but there are so many truths, goodness and beauty in your nature! Your little heart is like the morning light that illuminates the mountains! You came in and kissed me, and spontaneously, you showed everything.
Nothing matters tonight. Son, I came to your bed in the dark and stayed here, full of guilt. Maybe this is a pardon that doesn't have much effect. I'll tell you when you wake up. You won't understand. But from tomorrow on, I want to be a real father and your best friend. When you are in pain, I am also in pain; You laugh, I laugh; I will hold back my impatient words; I will say as solemnly as at a ceremony: you are just a child, a child! I used to treat you like an adult. But son, now I see you, sleeping in bed, still a baby. You lie in your mother's arms with your head on her shoulder, as if it were yesterday. I asked too much of you before, too much. ...
A father deeply repents! Countless platforms around the world have seen it and seen it. When we read this letter, as parents, do we see ourselves more or less? Should we also reflect on ourselves?
42.3? Basic theoretical viewpoints
42.3. 1? Teachers and parents should be upright and upright.
Teachers and parents will inevitably have some shortcomings and mistakes in their educational work. We should dare to admit, review and apologize for these problems. Only in this way can we show the integrity of teachers and parents and use the power of personality to infect and educate children. A confession letter from an American father to his son spread all over the world. It can be seen that reflection and apology are indeed educational magic weapons that every teacher and parent should master.
42.3.2? Apologizing is a personality style?
"No one is perfect, and gold is not enough." It is not a shame to review your faults and shortcomings, but a frank, rational and sincere performance. This is the personality style that a teacher and parent should have.
If teachers and parents don't dare to admit their mistakes in their work, especially after treating their children wrongly, beating, scolding and corporal punishment, they will find various excuses to shirk their responsibilities and impose them on others, which will inevitably cause children's dissatisfaction or opposition, lose their trust and respect, naturally reduce their prestige and greatly reduce the educational effect. The result is not worth the loss. ?
42.3.3? Apologize in time?
Teachers and parents dare to be responsible for their actions and apologize to each other frankly, which will not only win children's understanding and respect, but also make up cracks and ease contradictions. Teachers and parents should apologize sincerely, pay attention to methods and occasions, and convince children to accept and forgive. The misunderstanding or contradiction between the two sides should not be deepened because of protracted indecision. Apologizing is not only a respect for others, but also a respect for one's own personality and a reflection of one's own quality and character. Apologizing can not only educate yourself, but also educate each other, so as to review your words and deeds and let yourself learn to set an example in understanding and dealing with problems. ?
? First of all, we should educate teachers and parents. The personality strength of teachers and parents will exert a subtle influence on children, and they will also learn and imitate subconsciously.
42.3.4? Personality is democratic and equal.
In life, teachers and parents inevitably say the wrong things, do wrong things, and even wronged their children. The key is how teachers and parents deal with the problem after it happens. Compared with children, teachers and parents should be democratic and equal in personality and should not put on airs. If you have wronged a child, you should take the initiative to apologize, be sincere, not perfunctory and not objective. Some teachers and parents think it will be beneath their dignity, but it is not. Children are reasonable. Apologizing to children will set an example for children to correct their mistakes, so that children can sincerely admire the knowledge and literacy of teachers and parents, thus trusting teachers and parents more, making both sides harmonious and United, and creating a good environment for their healthy growth. Apologies from teachers and parents will not lower their prestige, but will be higher. ?
Whether teachers and parents are willing to apologize to their children when they do something wrong not only affects their feelings, but also affects their progress and growth.
Understand children's physical and mental health.
Watch it twice. Children thrive? Read it three times and the child will succeed.
China's First Book on Educational Methods: Excellencies in Education? China International Education Press? Zhang Feng? Zhang Zhuo? What about Zhang? dc898@ 126.com
Apologize means that teachers and parents take the initiative to apologize for children's shortcomings or problems in educational activities, and use the power of personality to conquer and influence children's educational methods.
A sincere and effective apology can educate and edify children with excellent quality, re-establish and restore normal relations with children, and turn crises into opportunities. Some psychologists believe that when apology becomes a way of life, interpersonal relationships will be harmonious and healthy, and people will get the acceptance, support and encouragement they need.
42. 1? Current misunderstanding
Some teachers and parents never say "sorry" to their children. It may be because they are not used to it, or it may be a matter of face. Even if they are really wrong, they are just making excuses for themselves. Over time, what children learn from it is to find reasons for mistakes. In fact, as long as people make mistakes, whether they are children or adults.
42.2? Classic example
This is a letter that has sensationalized the world for a hundred years. This is a masterpiece of apology. It is a typical textbook for parents all over the world. This is a tearful letter written by an American father in front of his son's bed:
Listen, kid! When you are asleep, I want to say a word to you: A few minutes ago, when I was reading a newspaper in my study, a feeling of self-blame overwhelmed me and made me breathless. I came to you with a very guilty heart. I think too much.
Son, I was too rough with you. You get dressed and go to school. I scold you because you only brush your face. I lost my temper with you because you didn't clean your shoes; You accidentally dropped something, and I yelled at you again. I found many mistakes at breakfast: you threw things on the ground, you wolfed down your food, you put your elbows on the table, and your bread was covered with too thick butter. When you go to school and I catch the train to work, you shout to me affectionately: goodbye, dad! I frowned and shouted at you: Why are you hunched over again? Stand up! In the evening, it all started again. On my way home from work, I saw you playing marbles on your knees. Your socks have several holes, and I can't help but get angry again: socks are bought with money, so I don't know how painful it is! And bring you home in front of your friends and humiliate you in public.
Do you remember, son? In the evening, I read the newspaper alone in the study. You came in timidly, and your eyes looked wronged. I saw you in the newspaper, and I was impatient with your interruption. You hesitated at the door for a long time. I finally couldn't help shouting: What are you doing here again? At this time, I never expected that you didn't speak, but suddenly rushed over and kissed me on the neck with tears in your eyes. I can't believe I'm so rude that I can't stop your love for your father! Then you gave me a big hug with your little arm and walked away at a brisk pace.
You know what, son? As soon as you left the study, the newspaper fell from my hand to the ground, and a strong sense of guilt and fear welled up in my heart. Habits really hurt me, and the habit of finding fault and reprimanding has almost become all the symbols of father's love. Son, it's not that dad doesn't love you, but that he expects too much of you! I ask you by the standards of adults, and it is a standard that many adults can't do. Think how ridiculous it is, but there are so many truths, goodness and beauty in your nature! Your little heart is like the morning light that illuminates the mountains! You came in and kissed me, and spontaneously, you showed everything.
Nothing matters tonight. Son, I came to your bed in the dark and stayed here, full of guilt. Maybe this is a pardon that doesn't have much effect. I'll tell you when you wake up. You won't understand. But from tomorrow on, I want to be a real father and your best friend. When you are in pain, I am also in pain; You laugh, I laugh; I will hold back my impatient words; I will say as solemnly as at a ceremony: you are just a child, a child! I used to treat you like an adult. But son, now I see you, sleeping in bed, still a baby. You lie in your mother's arms with your head on her shoulder, as if it were yesterday. I asked too much of you before, too much. ...
A father deeply repents! Countless platforms around the world have seen it and seen it. When we read this letter, as parents, do we see ourselves more or less? Should we also reflect on ourselves?
42.3? Basic theoretical viewpoints
42.3. 1? Teachers and parents should be upright and upright.
Teachers and parents will inevitably have some shortcomings and mistakes in their educational work. We should dare to admit, review and apologize for these problems. Only in this way can we show the integrity of teachers and parents and use the power of personality to infect and educate children. A confession letter from an American father to his son spread all over the world. It can be seen that reflection and apology are indeed educational magic weapons that every teacher and parent should master.
42.3.2? Apologizing is a personality style?
"No one is perfect, and gold is not enough." It is not a shame to review your faults and shortcomings, but a frank, rational and sincere performance. This is the personality style that a teacher and parent should have.
If teachers and parents don't dare to admit their mistakes in their work, especially after treating their children wrongly, beating, scolding and corporal punishment, they will find various excuses to shirk their responsibilities and impose them on others, which will inevitably cause children's dissatisfaction or opposition, lose their trust and respect, naturally reduce their prestige and greatly reduce the educational effect. The result is not worth the loss. ?
42.3.3? Apologize in time?
Teachers and parents dare to be responsible for their actions and apologize to each other frankly, which will not only win children's understanding and respect, but also make up cracks and ease contradictions. Teachers and parents should apologize sincerely, pay attention to methods and occasions, and convince children to accept and forgive. The misunderstanding or contradiction between the two sides should not be deepened because of protracted indecision. Apologizing is not only a respect for others, but also a respect for one's own personality and a reflection of one's own quality and character. Apologizing can not only educate yourself, but also educate each other, so as to review your words and deeds and let yourself learn to set an example in understanding and dealing with problems. ?
? First of all, we should educate teachers and parents. The personality strength of teachers and parents will exert a subtle influence on children, and they will also learn and imitate subconsciously.
42.3.4? Personality is democratic and equal.
In life, teachers and parents inevitably say the wrong things, do wrong things, and even wronged their children. The key is how teachers and parents deal with the problem after it happens. Compared with children, teachers and parents should be democratic and equal in personality and should not put on airs. If you have wronged a child, you should take the initiative to apologize, be sincere, not perfunctory and not objective. Some teachers and parents think it will be beneath their dignity, but it is not. Children are reasonable. Apologizing to children will set an example for children to correct their mistakes, so that children can sincerely admire the knowledge and literacy of teachers and parents, thus trusting teachers and parents more, making both sides harmonious and United, and creating a good environment for their healthy growth. Apologies from teachers and parents will not lower their prestige, but will be higher. ?
Whether teachers and parents are willing to apologize to their children when they do something wrong not only affects their feelings, but also affects their progress and growth.
Understand children's physical and mental health.
Watch it twice. Children thrive? Read it three times and the child will succeed.
China's First Book on Educational Methods: Excellencies in Education? China International Education Press? Zhang Feng? Zhang Zhuo? What about Zhang? dc898@ 126.com