For example, Tang Can's mother and Qi's mother in the TV series "In the Name of Family". Both mothers hold their daughters' lives in their hands. Tang Canma hopes that when he has capital, he can advertise more and make more money, and strive to make more money as a star in the future.
Qi's mother hopes that her daughter Qi can be admitted to a good university and become a lawyer, so as to win honor for her in the future.
Unfortunately, it backfired. Tang Can, a child star since childhood, has no resources since childhood. Not only can he not become a star, but he doesn't even have a stable job.
Although Qi has a regular job, she is still a TV reporter, but she doesn't even have a formal establishment. In other words, she is just a contract worker, not only with low salary, but also with no face.
In the face of their disappointing daughter, the two mothers are also very different.
The relationship between Tang Can's mother and daughter is very stiff, threatening that if Tang Can can't find a stable job, she won't have to go home again. Mother and daughter haven't made a phone call or met once in three months.
Although Qi's mother often calls her daughter, what she says most is to let her take the civil service exam. Every time she comes to help Qi clean up the house, it is inevitable to talk about it.
0 1.
It is a glorious thing for parents to expect their children to succeed. As long as children can make a difference, they are willing to suffer. In essence, it is really good for parents to be strict with their children.
Children are still young and don't know what they want. Parents can point out the maze in time. For confused children, it can really make them correct their attitude and find the direction of life.
Qi and Tang Can failed as adults and were imprisoned on them by their parents since childhood? Looking for a woman to become a phoenix? This has something to do with psychology.
Qi Yueming is not a good girl. She likes drinking and singing, laughing and being free. But in her mother's eyes, these behaviors are not desirable. Since exposing her true self will be criticized, she learned to hide.
Tang can has been a person who is willing to express his thoughts since he was a child. She was once dissatisfied because her mother helped her receive too many advertisements. She reminds her mother to do more exercise for herself, but every time she complains, her mother just says yes and never listens to her. Not only that, but she will also refute Tang Can and finally make her speechless.
Qi and Tang Can, one is the eternal master and the other is the repeated deniers. Such people will not be really happy even if they succeed.
Fundamentally speaking, it is the wrong behavior and improper expectations of parents that make children become? Losers? .
Children want to express themselves more truly and be themselves they like, which is inseparable from the support and encouragement of their families.
Why did Li Jianjian grow up carefree? She obviously has poor grades and is naughty.
Mainly because Li's father gave Li Jianjian enough freedom and respect. No matter what Li Jianjian does, he will not object. Even if her grades are not good, he will not impose his demands on Li Jianjian.
A person who can always be herself will not be bad in the future. She has the capital of faith: family is her backing and happiness is her source.
02.
Compared with the control education of two mothers, Li's father gave Li Jianjian free-range education. This kind of education is more about liberating children's nature and making them a happy and interesting person.
It is easy to be a happy person, but difficult to be a long-term happy person.
Although free-range education can make people happy, it also has its shortcomings. If children don't have much talent, they won't be satisfactory in the end.
Li's requirements for his daughter Li Jianjian and his two adopted sons are simple. He doesn't expect them to be excellent people, as long as they can grow up happily.
As a father, his greatest hobby is cooking. Children like to eat his cooking, and the family is happy, which is his happiest moment.
Father Li knows more about contentment than the two mothers. He respects the children's ideas, understands them and makes the best company. When the child needs it, he stands out, and when the child doesn't need it, he stays behind silently.
He gave the children more choices. Ling Xiao wanted to study in Singapore, and he agreed. Qiu Zi intended to study in England with his father, but he agreed.
Nine years later, his two sons came back and said they would move out, but he still didn't say anything about them. No? .
Does he really want to keep the baby? No, he wants to stay, but he knows that children will always leave themselves when they grow up. He respects and understands, and he can understand the child's thoughts from the father's point of view, which is the most valuable.
There is nothing wrong with parents expecting their children to become talents. The question is whether it is worthwhile to give up happiness and dreams in order to become a talent.
It is said that dreams are precious, young people have their own dreams, and parents should understand and support them as much as possible. Children have their own lives. When they reach a certain age and have their own thoughts, parents can only learn to let go, not to interfere.
The more interference, the less children can grow up independently.
Instead of putting shackles on children, let them go and give them a free sky.
Every child has a simple, lovely and kind person in his heart. Not annihilating their nature is the best help for their growth.