In fact, I isolated the whole class. Come and have a look with me.
Northern dialect says that today's story comes from a friend's real experience. It's bad enough to isolate your classmates at school. Online classes, even this will happen? Moreover, this vague and abusive clique is even more unbearable.
My friend Xiaobei is now a graduate student majoring in liberal arts.
So far, all his professional courses have been conducted online.
His class schedule is full, and his work and rest are the same as when he returned to school. There are endless homework and endless exercises every day.
Recently, however, Xiaobei vaguely felt that he was isolated by the communication between his classmates' circle of friends and other classmates.
0 1
In the class a few days ago, in order to enliven the atmosphere, the teacher randomly selected a few people before class to talk about what everyone was doing at home during this long vacation.
It was a class at two o'clock in the afternoon. Xiaobei just got up after lunch break and heard the teacher calling his name when he was in a daze.
He hasn't thought about whether to perfunctory a few words in his mind, but he has told the teacher in detail about his holiday life.
"At home, in addition to studying English and specialized courses, I also taught myself the use of some software on the large open online course website.
Because I think these skills are not within the scope of our major, but if we can learn them, we will have great advantages in future employment. "
Probably used to hearing the same answer, Xiaobei's answer made the teacher feel quite innovative: "So to what extent have you learned now?"
"I'm still just learning a little fur." Xiaobei honestly replied, "The theoretical part is relatively easy, but the actual operation is somewhat difficult. I am also groping bit by bit. "
The teacher is obviously very happy. She said: "Whether writing a graduation thesis or looking for a job, these softwares will be of great benefit to everyone in the future. I hope other students can learn some skills during this time, just like Xiao Bei. By the way, Xiao Bei, which classmate did you contact more during the holiday? You can share it with ta next time. "
"Sorry, teacher, I don't have much contact with anyone." Xiaobei said.
The teacher smiled. She ordered another classmate to continue sharing.
02
Xiao Bei is telling the truth.
There are fewer boys in his major. After studying for more than half a year as a graduate student, he hardly has any good friends who talk about everything except his roommate.
Of course, the group chat in the dormitory is still very active every day. It's just that most of the time, we don't talk about anything serious, either sand sculpture or sharing jokes. Xiaobei occasionally participates in a sentence or two, but never indulges.
He has something he likes.
So, this long vacation. Others complain that they are bored to death at home. When they want to start school quickly, Xiaobei's mood is different from theirs.
He feels that this holiday, being able to stay at home with his parents, being able to spend his time freely and learning some skills that he didn't have time to learn at school is his greatest gain.
03
After class, Xiaobei went to brush a circle of friends and suddenly saw one. It was sent by a girl in the class, and it said "Today is disgusting". The picture is a screenshot of her mobile phone desktop, a huge time point on the screen.
Xiao Bei didn't take it to heart, but it caught his attention.
Click into the girl's circle of friends, except this one, the contents of the first two days are the same. It says, "The world is so big, you can always meet disgusting people." Pictures or time screenshots.
Xiao Bei searched her memory in her mind: the time of the first screenshot of a circle of friends is the time to communicate with the teacher before class today.
The time of the second screenshot of friends circle is another class two days ago. The teacher asked him to answer questions.
There is no doubt that the girl's circle of friends is aimed at him.
04
Girls are class cadres in the class. When they entered school, their scores were extremely high and their level was far better than that of ordinary people. Last semester, they also attended a quite valuable meeting on behalf of the college.
Because of her ability, she is popular in the class.
But it seems that she is not a day or two for Xiaobei.
When school started last year, Xiaobei once answered a wrong question in a professional class. As soon as the class was over and the teacher left, the girl came up to her.
She smiled and said rudely, "Did you learn this basic question when you were an undergraduate? How did you get into graduate school? "
During a class discussion last semester, Xiaobei accidentally joined a group with a girl's roommate. Although her roommate didn't say exchange, she got along strangely throughout the whole process. As long as Xiaobei opens her mouth or raises a topic, the girl won't say anything.
In an online class this semester, Xiao Bei was in a group with her at first. Later, I don't know what method she used. She switched with another girl and went to another group.
Xiaobei asked other roommates, and they all praised the girl. This makes Xiaobei more convinced that she is really only targeting him.
05
However, Xiaobei's identity is quite special.
He is an ordinary undergraduate college. Should he choose this major or cross-test? His preliminary test results are hanging on the edge of the score line, but fortunately, an interview saved his life.
In addition, he is not a fresh graduate, but a graduate student who retakes the exam after working for several years, slightly older than his classmates.
Xiaobei has always felt that he has nothing in common with them, and his interpersonal relationship at school is very simple. Knowing that he had tried his best to quit his job and study across disciplines, he devoted himself to his studies to make up for the wasted time.
Therefore, Xiao Bei was a little sad at first when she encountered this kind of "isolated incident" against herself, but she soon felt that it didn't matter.
He knows very well that he is not qualified to compete with those "children" with solid scholarship foundation. In addition, where there are many girls, there are many right and wrong. He has never been a boy who will get along with girls, and he has never been like several of his roommates.
The time for graduate students is only two or three years, and then the bridge goes home. Instead of wasting time managing interpersonal relationships, it is better to learn professional courses well and lay a good foundation to prepare for future work on a higher platform.
But in the eyes of that girl, it may be another way.
As an interdisciplinary student, Xiaobei was lucky to be admitted to this college.
The foundation is not solid, I don't know convergence at all, and I talk nonsense in class all day. What is this?
Therefore, every time she hears Xiaobei's speech, she will give a "disgusting" evaluation.
06
Answering a question in online class can be isolated. Thinking of this, Xiaobei can't help feeling that "the times have changed."
When I went to college many years ago, it was probably because there were many boys in my class. Who and who can have a one-night vendetta? Two people who didn't like it the day before can bury the hatchet by saying "help me answer in class" the next day.
Although he is not a boy that girls like, he is not so hated by others.
Or is he too sensitive? It's not the girl's fault.
Fortunately, until now, the school has not announced the official start date. Now, except for some software that can't be used, the rest of the online classes at home, whether it's work and rest or curriculum arrangement, are exactly the same as when I was at school.
So Xiaobei is not looking forward to returning to school at all.
The only thing he remembers is that he bought some books that he didn't read before the holiday. At that time, the luggage was too heavy for festivals, so he didn't take the book home.
"What a pity! That's my favorite writer! "
About the author: North Language, Master of Literature, overseas educator. Write carefully, and be willing to boil words into medicine to heal the body and mind.
In fact, I told the whole class not to read books:
The daughter is isolated by the whole class. What do parents say when they go to school? In fact, it is the family that should be reflected.
Share the happiness of parents and children, exchange educational knowledge, and welcome to pay attention to Doris's mother says parenting and reading children's books with the baby.
Every parent wants their children to be strong and confident, but many times, parents are also full of worries. At first, I was worried that my children could not be as advanced and excellent as other children. Later, when the children really went to school or even left home, I began to worry that the children would be bullied by outsiders.
In junior high school, I had a classmate whose clothes were always rustic. Some people know that this is because her family is poor, so everyone understands it, but after a long time, they realize that this classmate is not only poor at home, but also weak in character, and they begin to alienate her. Once in physical education class, girls stood in the middle of the line, ready to play games together, but no one wanted to join. There is a simple reason. First of all, she is not confident enough. Secondly, when she is alone, she will definitely not be popular. Therefore, even if there are 50 students in the class, some groups would rather have one more, or ignore her and don't want to be with her.
She was really sad at that time, but she just sat there and isolated herself. If she had the courage to face everyone and confidently go to any group to express her wishes, many groups would still accept it. However, this classmate didn't, but he has been like this, insisting on his own grievances and inferiority, sitting in the corner and being out of place with everyone.
Later, the head teacher invited her parents to come over. When parents know what happened, on the one hand, they are very angry, blaming the teacher for not doing a good job in grouping, saying that they can be evenly distributed, why do they volunteer to group? In the second aspect, it is said that students are bullying her and doing so on purpose. This is an isolated incident on campus.
But, you know what?
Behind many school bullying, bullying and even isolating classmates, family environment factors are the main reasons for children's inferiority and withdrawn personality.
According to the head teacher, at home, the girl is also an introverted person, so her parents always educate their children to be bold. As long as the child makes mistakes, even if there are problems, he cares. But in a word, it means more criticism and more education. They believe that if children don't accept severe criticism from their parents now, they will certainly not be able to bear the blow in the future.
But unexpectedly, this kind of education, which I thought children would be stronger, has become the most difficult place for children to accept.
In fact, this situation is very common in China, and these families are not just the parents of classmates.
Spoil-some parents spoil their children too much and forget to cultivate their character. As a result, children can't live in harmony with others in collective life and social interaction and are bullied. They have been living in a greenhouse and naturally have no ability to resist, like and accept others.
Harsh-for a long time, many families still insist on the old education method: the dutiful son is born under the stick! I never thought that today's children need more care, encouragement and support from their parents. Because the pressure of life and study is strong enough, criticism is sometimes a great pressure on the cultivation of children's psychological quality.
Ignore-born without raising, probably not worthy of being a parent. In many divorced families, reorganized families and left-behind families, this kind of family education neglect is the biggest reason that affects children. Parents neglect the education of their children, blindly giving them all kinds of materials and money, but never giving them companionship and affection.
Inferiority-have you ever heard of such a thing? My child has always been stupid! Oh, my child is just not smart! Sometimes, parents have no confidence in their children, which will naturally cause their children to feel inferior and even give up their self-decadence. The original cleverness will also become real inferiority and depravity under the inferiority of parents.
I believe every parent wants their children to be strong and confident. Therefore, most parents are worried about whether their children will be bullied at school. So they are always worried about their children and always take all kinds of protection for them. Then, the result is not ideal. Therefore, while we doubt the way of education, we also doubt whether this is a child's problem, whether the society is isolated and bullied by children alone.
In fact, if you want your child not to be bullied, the method is very simple, just one word-love!
Care for children correctly, give them a sense of security, and insist on correct encouragement and education.
It is impossible for children to be accompanied by their parents all the time in the process of growing up. Therefore, giving children a sense of security is conducive to cultivating their self-confidence and independence. For example, in some American families, children's education has always been more inclined to live independently. 18 years old, after giving children a certain amount of start-up funds, they will let their children go out to live and make a living by themselves.
For the education of children's academic performance, we will never be too severely punished, but adopt the simplest and most effective way-communication. They like to encourage and communicate with their children, instead of criticizing them too severely from the perspective of their parents and elders. Therefore, children are more likely to accept failure and their personality is more firm and confident. No matter when, they firmly believe that they are great!
In short, in children's education, parents are also a learning process. Don't be too old-fashioned and stubborn about your identity, but learn to understand what children need. By the side of children, be their most loyal friend and strongest backing, give them enough love, make them confident with love, and naturally, their personality will be stronger and more independent. You will be more confident when facing the group.
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