They say impulse is the devil. Xiao Yuan was an "impulsive little devil" I met when I took over in the 20 12 school year. He never controls his emotions. Small things as big as sesame seeds can explode and burn in an instant, and then evolve into physical conflicts. After studying Taekwondo for several years, I can always catch my opponent's blood and cry with three strokes and two punches. Every time I talk to him, he can find a good reason to be angry. So, I was dealing with my treatment, and he still took his impulse. I often pray in my heart that one day his conscience will become tolerant and generous, or one day he will hate me and my classmates and transfer to another school. Because a person taking care of him is a comprehensive experience of helplessness, injustice and anger to achieve maximum tolerance. Every time I deal with his impulsive events, it is a direct challenge to the bottom line of my teacher's morality, which makes people almost collapse.

I. Description of the case

Lens 1:

On the playground, he and his classmates were joking at random. He never imagined that the words of the other party caused his dissatisfaction. Without saying anything, he kicked his classmates to the ground with his left and right feet.

Lens 2:

After coming back from exercise, Xiao Yuan opened the closet to get water to drink, and conveniently poured all the students' lunch boxes and cups on his lunch box onto the ground. After a loud bang, things were scattered around him 5 meters away.

Lens 3:

In English class, Xiao Yuan shouted because he suspected that the teacher's score was wrong. After being criticized by the teacher, he lost control in an instant. He first threw all the teaching AIDS and homework on the platform to the ground, and then flew up and kicked the teacher in the stomach.

Lens 4:

At the school gate, Xiao Yuan met his classmates' parents. Parents asked the reason for the fight, but didn't say a few words. He hit them in the face. Parents instinctively tilted their heads and raised their hands to protect themselves. Their mobile phones were knocked over by Xiao Yuan and fell apart.

Second, the case analysis

Xiao Yuan is a "special" child-he is impulsive and stubborn, likes to solve problems by force, does not accept any criticism and education, and has a tense relationship with teachers and classmates ... Many headaches for teachers and parents are concentrated in Xiao Yuan. I know Rome was not built in a day.

1. Parents' reasons

Xiao Yuan's father thinks that boys should be brave and take responsibility. When in danger, they should not run away, but try their best to resist. He sent his children to learn Taekwondo and told them again and again: "If someone bullies you, hit him!" " "This sentence has a great influence on children. Outside school, even at home, when something happened, Xiao Yuan used the way of "beating" and his sister was "beaten" by him. Mom knows that this is not good for children's growth, but dad doesn't think so. He thinks this is the true face of a boy. Even after learning that my child hit the teacher in class, he asked me, "You can't force my child to apologize to that teacher. My child is right, it's the teacher's fault! "When I was dealing with the conflict between Xiao Yuan and his parents at the school gate, he stared at his parents and said defiantly," Teacher, if my child really hit someone first, I am proud of him! He is really brave! "

2. Teacher's reasons

There are family rules at home and school rules, and teachers hope that children can consciously abide by various rules and regulations. In the face of Xiao Yuan, a child who often brings trouble to himself and doesn't obey any discipline, teachers always inadvertently reveal some dissatisfaction, while Xiao Yuan is an extremely smart and sensitive child. The teacher's tone of voice is different, and the eyes projected on him and other students are inconsistent, which can always be captured in time, but he is a child who can't turn a corner. Whenever he is caught, he will immediately express his views in disgust. Contradictory emotions combined with disdainful eyes and blunt tone.

What is even more frightening is that in kindergarten, the teacher kept Xiao Yuan in a dark room for several hours because of his mistakes, which made him lose trust in the teacher, let alone have a good impression.

3. Children's reasons

(1) self-righteous.

Xiao Yuan is a very clever boy and a child who can stick to his goals. As long as he listens carefully, he can raise his hand to answer any difficult question; Military training under the scorching sun, he will never wipe his sweat when he sweats. But accustomed to making up his own mind, Xiao Yuan has more ideas than other children. Coupled with his sensitive personality, he can often guess the psychology of teachers and parents, which makes him always act self-righteous and turn a deaf ear to all teachers' criticisms and suggestions. After several conflicts with his classmates, his taekwondo skills made him almost invincible in the class, and his classmates were in a state of self-protection that he could not afford to hide. And he firmly believes that everyone around him is untrustworthy, everything is unfair and unfair, and only he can protect himself.

(2) Lack of security.

The "darkroom incident" in kindergarten frightened him for a long time. Even now, as a senior pupil, he still looks like a newborn rabbit-he is always on high alert. The classmate accidentally met him, and instinctively he picked up the cup and waved it hard, and a big bag appeared on his forehead; When putting the quilt, I found that the students who put the quilt first accounted for more than half of the quilt cabinet. Now I feel that the classmate is provoking and bullying him, so when he pulls, the quilt pillow of the classmate is scattered a few meters away; When in conflict with his classmates, he always feels that he is right, and his classmates are bullying him; The teacher's criticism and education, which he thought was deliberately making things difficult for him, has been wronged and crying. He always goes home and says to his mother, "other children are bullied, and their father will help solve it, but I am bullied." Why doesn't dad always help me out? "

(3) stubborn impulse.

In Xiao Yuan's world, ego is the most important thing. Therefore, in class, he stood up and walked around the trash can from time to time, just to throw away the paper towels he had just used; In the narrow square cupboard, there is only one way for anyone who holds him down-he finds it out and throws it aside; When taking a nap, he always comes in with the quilt in his arms a few minutes after the bell rings and asks him, "Why are you late?" A: "Go to the toilet." "Why not go at the preparation time before taking a nap?" "Believe it or not, this is a fact!" ..... school rules, class rules, are all to make way for his needs. Once the development of things deviates from his own preset, his anger will burn instantly and he will fight at the slightest sign of trouble. No matter who the other person is, his classmates, teachers and tall and strong parents will rush up regardless of the consequences. ...

Third, case reflection and corresponding strategies

In my spare time, I read a lot of educational books and newspaper articles, hoping to find a magic weapon to educate Xiao Yuan.

Slowly, I understand that a poor sculptor only complains that this jade is not round enough. This jade looks strange and does not meet his requirements. And truly skilled sculptors will carve amazing works with great personality and aura according to the shape of each piece of jade. In the process of children's growth, which child was born evil? Which child is born tired of learning? Which child didn't go to school with curiosity and thirst for knowledge? Teachers should try their best to give students confidence and motivation, and there is no reason to give up any students.

However, successful education is not a single force, but should be carried out jointly by various forces. Parents are the most important or cooperative partners of the school. We should strive for their understanding, support and active participation, help them improve their educational ability and give some guidance to their family education.

After many in-depth conversations with Xiao Yuan's mother, I learned that Xiao Yuan likes reading books and listening to stories. He often goes home and tells stories in my class, saying that he likes listening to my stories best. I had a brainwave. Yes, there are no children in the world who don't like listening to stories. Story is a window for children to know the world. Their rich and peculiar imagination and bold and interesting exaggeration deeply attract children, and at the same time, they are always influenced by truth, goodness and beauty, which subtly guides the development of children's good personality. Why not educate Xiao Yuan with stories?

1. Let him discover the beauty of life with stories.

? After Xiao Yuan clashed with his classmates again, I didn't ask him to find out his shortcomings as before, because I knew that all his actions had "incentives", and he thought these "incentives" were dirty and made him sneer. I asked him to sit in the corridor outside the office with me during his nap and chat casually. Then, skillfully use this topic to tell him a story:

There is a little girl in a small town. One day, she opened the window and happened to see her neighbor killing the dog. The dog often plays with the little girl, and the little girl can't help crying when she sees this tragic scene. When her mother saw it, she took the little girl to another room and opened another window. Outside the window is a beautiful garden. The bright sunshine shines warmly. Colorful flowers, butterflies and bees are flying among the flowers. The little girl watched it for a while, and the gloomy clouds in her heart were suddenly swept away, and her mood was cheerful again. The mother stroked her daughter's head and said, "Son, you opened the wrong window."

I told him that life is not a lack of beauty, but a lack of eyes to find beauty. Open different windows, we will see different scenery, gain different moods and have different lives. When you accidentally open an "unpleasant window", please close it and try to open another window. He didn't speak, but he didn't argue with me as usual.

Not long after, when the class changed seats, he took the initiative to find me and said that he was willing to sit at the same table with the boy whose grades were not very good and hygienic, who was very helpful and active in doing things for the class. I asked him, "Being a deskmate requires common progress. What can you learn from him? " He replied: "I hope to learn to take the initiative to care for and help others like him." Warmth filled my heart like this: "At this moment, you learned to take the initiative to care for and help others!" " "They sit at the same table until graduation. For a year and a half, Xiao Yuan didn't have any conflict with this classmate, and Xiao Yuan didn't help him with his study.

Let him know how to help and care for each other with stories.

That day, after the break, Xiao Yuan slowly opened the closet. Suddenly, after he muttered something, with a dull crash, several cups and lunch boxes were thrown at my feet by Xiao Yuan. I suppressed my anger and asked him, "What's the matter?" "They deliberately suppressed my lunch box bag again!" I didn't say anything, so I asked him to pick up the things on the ground and put them in the cupboard. I made a request-no pressing, he failed; Then, I asked him to open the other cabinets and see how the students put them. After reading them one by one, he lowered his head and said, "It's all pinned down." At this time, the official bell for class rang, and I asked him to go to class first.

After class, I found him and shared the story of heaven and hell with him:

A man asked God, "Why are people in heaven happy and people in hell not happy at all?" God said, "Do you want to know? Ok, I'll show you. " They first came to hell and saw a big pot with delicious food in the middle. There are many small monsters around the pot. Every little monster is holding a long spoon. Because the spoon was too long to put food in his mouth, he put hot food on other little monsters. So every monster was scalded out of pustules, all skin and bones, and everyone was screaming and arguing. God said, "Let's go to heaven." So they went to heaven and saw a big pot with delicious food in the middle. There are many little angels around the pot. Every little angel has a long spoon, because the spoon is too long to send food to his mouth. So, each angel handed the food in the spoon to the distant angel to enjoy, and the distant angel handed the food to other angels to enjoy. Everyone was very happy.

It turns out that the environment of heaven and hell is the same, but the difference is attitude and practice. Happiness is simple. If you satisfy others, you satisfy yourself.

After that, I asked Xiao Yuan to talk about his feelings. He said that the little monsters in hell are selfish, and the little angels in heaven help and love each other. I asked him, "Where do you like your lifestyle?" "heaven." I encouraged him: "The teacher believes that you know what to do in the future." He nodded.

During the break, I once again saw Xiao Yuan holding the water cup carefully-his left hand reached into the cupboard, motionless, and his right hand slowly took out the bag and put it on the ground. Then, after tidying up the cupboard, he opened the bag on the ground and took out the water cup. I'm a little puzzled. Is it so difficult to drink a glass of water? When I asked him, his answer surprised me: "My bag is under pressure. If I take it out at once, my classmates' things will fall to the ground and the cabinets will be messy. "That week's class meeting, I shared this touching scene with the whole class, and asked him to go to the podium to demonstrate the action, so that the whole class could take cups and lunch boxes like this. So, for the first time, I saw the shy and sweet smile on Xiao Yuan's face, which lasted for a long time.

Let him learn to cherish friendship with stories.

During the break, Xiao Ming, a classmate who has a good relationship with Xiao Yuan, made a joke with him and went too far, so Xiao Ming picked up Xiao Yuan's book and threw it on the ground. At this moment, the bell rang and the teacher came into the classroom, but Xiao Yuan's anger had been ignited. Without thinking, he picked up Xiao Ming's schoolbag and threw it at the back of the classroom.

Xiao Yuan was sent to the office again and sat outside the office corridor with me. I asked him, "Isn't Xiao Ming your friend?" "Not today." "Just for this little thing today?" "I will always remember that he threw my book first!" "What about the help he once gave you?" "It's all over!" "This is not a real friend." After listening to my words, Xiao Yuan withdrew his eyes looking at the ceiling and looked at me puzzled, so I told him the following story:

A pair of good friends, they go to the seaside to play together. When they were having fun on the stone, friend B wrote on the stone: "Friend A played with me today, and I am very happy." Later, they had an argument carelessly. Friend A got angry and scolded friend B. Although friend B was unhappy, he didn't scold him. He just walked to the seaside alone and wrote, "Today, my friend A scolded me, and I was very unhappy." A friend looked very strange and asked his friend B, why did you carve it on a stone just now, but now you write it on the beach? Friend B told friend A: "I will carve your kindness on a stone, so that it will be there forever, and let me always remember your kindness to me;" Write your bad words on the beach. When the sea rushes to the beach, it will be washed away without leaving a trace. "

Seeing his relaxed expression, I went on to say that in the process of getting along with others, there will be care, care, help and of course unhappiness. Don't recall unhappiness, try to forget it, collect ordinary feelings, even if it is a comfort, a smile, a small gift, a help ... experience the warmth and care between people, experience the happiness and happiness of life, and live a beautiful life.

After school that day, I saw Xiao Yuan and Xiaoming coming out of the classroom side by side, talking and laughing.

Let him learn to respect others with stories.

The process of education is to respect and understand students, and then let students learn to care for each other and respect others. Tagore said: It is not the hammer that makes pebbles perfect, but the singing and dancing of water.

After school, the students walked out of the classroom in twos and threes with schoolbags on their backs. Xiao Yuan and another student had a skirmish at the back door, because they were talking as they walked, and they started fighting. I rushed out of the platform, and the two of them had been pulled away by their classmates, but their faces and necks were scratched by red nails. I didn't know until I asked the other person that Xiao Yuan was the first to call names, and the other person's reply was impolite, which instantly made Xiao Yuan fly into a rage, so he also started it.

I left Xiao Yuan behind, looking at him with a face of injustice and anger, tears streaming down his face and clenched his fists. In an instant, I was so angry that I really wanted to slap him. I suddenly remembered seeing a shepherd herding sheep in Tibet: occasionally one or several sheep deserted and fell behind, and the shepherd would quickly go to the outside of the sheep and block the way; Holding a whip, but hanging it, just shouting, the sheep who left the team returned to the team. In fact, managing a class is like managing a sheep, and teachers are like shepherds. Children always grow up with mistakes and always have out-of-control behaviors. When encountering such problems, we need to think calmly, explore students' real thoughts through their words and deeds, and then take appropriate measures.

Taking a deep breath, I said slowly, "Let the teacher tell you another story."

A long time ago, there lived a child and his mother on the mountain. One day, the child ran to the top of the mountain and shouted "Ah-". Before he could shout for the second time, a voice came from the opposite mountain, "Ah-". He was a little unhappy and asked loudly, "How did you learn to speak like me!" " The same thing came from the opposite side. So they began to scold each other. The sun went down and the child had no strength to make any noise. He came home crying and told his mother that a child was bullying him across the street. Mother asked about it and told him with a smile, "Go and apologize to him tomorrow. Tell him you are willing to make friends with him, and he won't bully you. " When the sun went down the next day, the child ran back with a bright smile and told his mother, "Mom, he promised to be my friend!" " "

In fact, the opposite child doesn't exist. He hears his own echo.

Finally, I told him: "People always like those who like themselves. Do you know how to do it? " He nodded and said unexpectedly, "thank you, teacher!" " "

From then on, he tried to control his emotions and never had a verbal conflict with his classmates again.

The fate between teachers and students with Xiao Yuan for two years passed quietly. Shortly after the graduation exam, I received a phone call from Xiao Yuan's mother-Xiao Yuan got the admission notice from a famous high-quality middle school in Guangzhou!

Suhomlinski once said: "Education-first of all, it touches the hearts of young people with care, consideration and care". Yes, education is heartfelt respect and full of humanistic care. It wins students' love with an equal and caring educational attitude, and enables students to receive education consciously and happily. The wisdom of education should be to approach students and touch their hearts, "sneak into the night with the wind and moisten things silently."

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