At that time ... the boss was only seven or eight years old.
Because the second child has to get up several times every night and can't sleep well during the day, let alone someone to help him, even no one to chat with me. Besides, helping the boss with his homework is the most troublesome thing. If he is wrong, he doesn't want to change. He often doesn't know what he wrote, and often goes to around 12 in the evening. ............................................................
Later, I don't know why, but I suddenly stopped going to school. I really didn't go. I slapped him hard for the first time, and he cried very sadly. Although he was late, he went to school. After hitting him for the first time, he had a second time, a third time ... to make matters worse. You said he was impatient and talked back. If you hit him, he will answer back. He also said that if he was left alone, he would jump off the building. I found that it was the most painful thing for him to take money, so I hit him directly with a solid wood stick. At that time, I interrupted Zanjia, and my body was covered with bruises (I cried with him all night after he fell asleep). I know that beating and cursing hurt the child the most, but he doesn't listen to good words and has nowhere to vent his anger. I really can't help hitting him and cursing him, basically every day! Even the best patience and care have been erased! The terrible time was when I rushed to the kitchen and took out a knife. The child froze for a few seconds and stuck his head out for me to cut. Anyway, there is no point in living, it is better to die! I'm scared to think of it now! I only remember that my heart stung like a needle, so I called my mother and said that my heart would really hurt, hurt, hurt ... I raised a child 100 days and worried for 99 days. ...
My husband failed to invest in other places, and his family life could not be guaranteed. The eldest son is disobedient and the younger son is in poor health. He often runs to the hospital at midnight. Every time he doesn't trust the boss to be at home alone, he can only take two of them to the hospital together. One didn't wake up, the other was crying and making noise ...
I lost a lot of hair in those days and I am losing weight every month. I can't eat well, I can't sleep well and I'm not happy. ...
After thinking for a long time, I am not a good mother, and I don't know how to educate my children. I'm afraid I'll hurt him for life. Once again, I finally showdown with my husband: you also want to work in other places to earn more money for your children. Forget it if you don't make money now. If you don't discipline yourself well, you will destroy more than one home when you grow up. If you choose to stay in other places, we will divorce and the boss will take him away (my mother really disliked him at that time)! My husband chose to go home. ...
Boss is now 10 years old! Doing homework slowly but consciously! I will help my brother take a bath, dry my hair after washing, and share the school with me!
After a long time, I chatted with him about the past. He said that all the other children were sent to and from school by their parents, and they also helped to carry their schoolbags, and they also had pocket money 100 yuan. Some parents leave three pages of messages in their exercise books, all about their children's good!
And he, since his brother was born, his father has gone out. He sets his own alarm clock in the morning, gets up to make breakfast and washes his own clothes. He comes and goes in extracurricular classes regardless of the wind and rain. He forgot his umbrella and didn't want to tell his mother that it was raining. He was afraid that his mother would get his brother wet, so he had to run home in the rain, saying that he didn't pay attention to hygiene and got his pillow dirty. That's because he had nightmares and cried at night! I used to be a coquetry to my mother, but now I'm close to my mother. She says leave my brother alone ... I feel like a unloved child! Tears!
I feel particularly bad when I type this passage. I feel particularly sorry for my boss. At that time, children under the age of eight lived a life of being beaten and scolded by their biological mothers. I have never talked to him seriously, I don't know his ideas, and I always impose my own ideas on him. During that time, he was often angry and fell ill with heartache. The hospital said there was no treatment, only to control emotions. Don't be so sad that you fly into a rage. That's a gift from my child's rebellion.
A few days ago, I told my children that a boy 13- 16 rebelled in adolescence again. I'm afraid my heart can't hold on! The child said to let me remarry first [cover your face] [cover your face] [cover your face]
There is always a reason for children to rebel. Children are just children. The reason is that parents are too big for their children!
Before answering this question, we must first understand what the child's rebellious period is, and then we can "prescribe the right medicine."
Through years of observation and in-depth understanding, I think the most important performance of the rebellious period is that children's behavior can not obey the arrangements of adults, and they are bent on their own way, which is easy to produce family contradictions and conflicts.
It is difficult for parents to manage their children's rebellious period. This is a realistic problem that parents can't escape. When encountering such problems, some parents are busy making a living and let it go, while others fight violence with violence. Neither laissez-faire nor violence is the best choice, which is also prohibited by national laws. Human rights violations are also investigated by law. Children are the hope of the family and the hope of the country. Parents have the obligation to educate and manage their children well. What should I do if I don't scold them? First of all, parents should take the initiative to walk into their children's world, deeply understand their likes, dislikes and needs, truly become friends with their children, encourage or help the good, and over-care and gently correct the right and wrong. Remember not to pretend to be parents, don't rush for success, and change slowly to achieve the best results.
Parents and friends can ask more detailed and specific questions, so that netizens' answers will be more targeted. Because children have to go through three rebellious periods during their growth;
1:There is a "baby rebellious period" between 2 and 3 years old;
2: 7 ~ 9 years old, there is a "children's rebellious period";
From 3: 12 to 18, the "rebellious period of youth" appeared.
In different rebellious periods, children have different characteristics of personality development and psychological and physiological development, so parents should take corresponding countermeasures according to their psychological and physiological characteristics. So what stage of rebellion is your child in now? My daughter is now 2 years and 5 months old and is in the "baby rebellious period". Let me share some experiences I learned in this rebellious period and the coping methods that parents should take.
First of all, the characteristics of the "baby rebellious period": at this time, the baby is just in the imitation stage of language learning and behavior learning. I am full of curiosity and exploration about this world. I want to play with anything interesting and fresh, and I will imitate some behaviors of adults when I see them. At this time, children often have some unexpected behaviors. They don't quite understand what is dangerous, and they don't understand this kind of social behavior rules at all, and they don't know how to protect their own safety. When we adults restrict their wishes or prevent their behavior, children will show dissatisfaction or even resistance to adults, which runs counter to you. They like to say "I don't want it" and "I want it". If parents don't agree to give it, they will cry, and so on ... At this time, parents will blame their children for being unreasonable and disobedient, which is actually a grievance, because this is because children's desire for independence and exploration is stronger than obedience, and the way for children to acquire new knowledge is.
1: If parents can meet their children's reasonable requirements? As parents, we should fully understand children's demands for independent expression, and try to create more conditions, so that after children's demands are properly or completely met, their rebellious behavior and rebellious psychology will naturally gradually decrease. When children's opinions are different from ours, we can take advantage of their easy to divert attention, draw children away with other things, and then find the right time to carry out reasoning education after the problem is solved. Of course, to properly meet children's requirements, we must grasp the "degree" and not blindly accommodate it, otherwise it will cast a shadow over children's physical and mental development.
But sometimes when children's demands are unreasonable and parents can't satisfy them. We can temporarily ignore the method, let the children make trouble and annoy them, and then slowly educate them when their mood improves and they can listen to the truth. This method is repeated several times, and children naturally know that crying and dissatisfaction can't meet their unreasonable demands. At the same time, in the process of education, children should understand what is reasonable and what is unreasonable.
Ignoring is an educational art. Nowadays, children are more and more independent. They don't want adults to participate too much in their own activities and restrain their behavior, otherwise they will often express dissatisfaction or resistance to adults. We might as well let children participate in activities without danger and injury, so that they can learn lessons and experience from their attempts and enjoy the fun of thinking and solving problems independently. Even if adults want to help them, don't talk in a guiding and commanding tone, but use modest ways such as reminding and discussing to make it easier for children to accept. Children are also a complete person, with their own independent psychology and behavior. As parents, it is beneficial and harmless for children to give them some free space and learn to "ignore" appropriately.
In addition, children's rebellious behavior is often destructive and aggressive. Children should be taught "love and mercy" imperceptibly in daily life. Compassion and love are the foundation of human coexistence and symbiosis, and also the key to the education of outlook on life. For example, we should help each other, be humble to each other, don't hit people, don't bully others, respect the old and love the young, sympathize with the weak, try our best to help others, protect animals and plants and love our parents. This is also an effective means to educate and cultivate children's compassion. If children have this kind of love and compassion, their rebellious mentality will be greatly weakened.
In short, it is an educational art to treat children's "rebellious" psychology correctly. Only under the careful cultivation of adults can a child become a person with good character.
Everyone will go through a period of rebellion. People who are naturally cheerful are less rebellious, while those who are naturally withdrawn are stronger. I usually have a cordial chat with a weak child and talk about how to be a man. Sometimes I chat with him on his mobile phone, teaching and encouraging him to be a good student, so that he can get ahead in the future and honor his ancestors. Can play a very good role. For a strong child, we should severely criticize his bad behavior. Point out and correct his wrong ideas. What forced him to know himself was not. But don't use violent means to teach him a lesson, or let him get out of the house and other radical words. Otherwise it will hurt his self-esteem. Later, I will tell him some life truths in a warm tone. Sometimes he doesn't listen and turns away. I had to communicate with him on my mobile phone and tell him to remember to go home for dinner. Know your son better than your father, as long as you master the method and communicate patiently. Children will always understand that their father's intentions are good.
The rebellious period of children is really a headache. At this time, the child feels that he has grown up and doesn't want to live under your wings. He wants to have his own space and world. He hates you asking questions, saying that you always nag about everything, and he always stares at you and loses his temper. It seems that his family has become his enemy, and his academic performance has dropped significantly.
In view of these situations, I analyze them one by one and take the following measures.
First, try not to conflict with him. Generally do not interfere in his family affairs, as long as it is not excessive, basically agree with his opinions and suggestions. Treat him as an adult rather than a child at home. At this time, he began to have a sense of territory, so he fully respected his right to privacy, and generally did not enter his room except unpacking and washing bedding, but asked him to do his own room hygiene.
Second, when he is in a good mood, he often asks them about his school, his study, whether he is happy with his classmates, and gives answers and guidance to some of his puzzles. In this way, in a harmonious atmosphere, we can master his ideological dynamics and psychological trajectory, and know fairly well.
The third is to communicate with the school and teachers, grasp his learning situation and performance in school in time, and complement his family education. It seems far away, but in fact it is closer. Study hard and don't relax.
The fourth is to be friends with him. Now that you have treated him as an adult, you should communicate with him to discuss something, and you can't order him to do this and that as before. Communicate with him more at ordinary times, so that he can feel your concern for him and respect for his reasonable demands.
Fifth, go out to exercise with him on weekends or holidays, and play with him according to his favorite sports. Such as mountain climbing, basketball, football, cycling, badminton and so on, let us increase our feelings with our children in mutual sports.
Through these efforts, after the child passes through adolescence, he will definitely understand your good intentions and parents' love for him, and the child will definitely thank you very much!
First, we should get rid of parents' condescending attitude towards children, put down our posture and appear as a trustworthy friend, which is more acceptable to children;
2. Be persuasive to children, and avoid being grumpy, swearing and fighting, which will make children disgusted and even more rebellious;
3. Praise children more and criticize children less. Even the little achievements and progress of children should be discovered in time, given enough encouragement and praise to enhance the motivation of children's growth and progress;
Fourth, we should set aside some time to participate in social activities and travel abroad to broaden our horizons and increase our knowledge;
5. Participate in social welfare activities with children, cultivate their love, let them feel the endless fun of helping others, improve their moral quality, and enhance their charm and prestige among school classmates.
6. While making sincere friends with children and improving relations, properly infiltrate the concept of right and wrong, good and evil, and let children know what can be done boldly, what should not be done, and what can not be done resolutely.
First of all, parents must give their children enough freedom and space during their rebellious period. In order to prevent their children from going astray, many parents often try their best to control their children, which will make them more rebellious and may become out of control. Therefore, it is also a good respect for children to give them some space and freedom during their rebellious period.
For some rebellious children, they may not like their parents' nagging concern. In this case, parents need to be able to let go and let their children live and study in their own way. Although they are often wrong, they must let their children try, so that they can get a better lesson and know what kind of life they should live.
Some children will inevitably have anxiety and irritability during the rebellious period. Faced with this situation, parents must find ways to calm their children's emotions first, and then give them some guidance and encouragement in a way that children can accept. This is also a great wealth of their lives, which is very precious.
For children with different personalities, the performance of rebellious period is also different, which requires parents to know more about their children in their daily lives, get along with them better, and often don't get mad.
Rebellion is a necessary stage in many children's lives. As parents, we should be able to treat them with a normal heart, and at the same time, we should be able to understand and tolerate them from the standpoint of children.
First of all, the mind must treat the child as an independent adult. Don't think that children are born by themselves. Ask if you want, and blame if you want, and the result will only be counterproductive. Children have a sense of independence and think they have grown up, although they still encounter obstacles everywhere. Children have the joy of material satisfaction and the distress of competitive pressure in childhood.
Secondly, pay attention to the ways and means of communication, pay attention to the tone and expression of speech, and have something to say. It is inevitable that there will be quarrels between husband and wife because of language differences, but the husband and wife quarrel at the end of the bed, but the children can't do this. The wife sometimes speaks openly, and the daughter argues with her. I advised my wife to pay attention to the artistry of speaking and think it over. It's better to say it skillfully in three ways. I am very careful when I talk to my children.
Third, support children to realize their dreams and satisfy their wishes, and at the same time let them feel and know the hardships of adults. Sometimes, when we talk about family expenses, children say "I think our family is poor" and think poverty is right. I have the opportunity to take my child to feel the pain, misfortune and hardship of life, and I can't take everything my parents do for her for granted.
First of all, parents must give their children enough freedom and space during their rebellious period. In order to prevent their children from going astray, many parents often try their best to control their children, which will make them more rebellious and may become out of control. Therefore, it is also a good respect for children to give them some space and freedom during their rebellious period.
For some rebellious children, they may not like their parents' nagging concern. In this case, parents need to be able to let go and let their children live and study in their own way. Although they are often wrong, they must let their children try, so that they can get a better lesson and know what kind of life they should live.
Some children will inevitably have anxiety and irritability during the rebellious period. Faced with this situation, parents must find ways to calm their children's emotions first, and then give them some guidance and encouragement in a way that children can accept. This is also a great wealth of their lives, which is very precious.
For children with different personalities, the performance of rebellious period is also different, which requires parents to know more about their children in their daily lives, get along with them better, and often don't get mad.
Rebellion is a necessary stage in many children's lives. As parents, we should be able to treat them with a normal heart, and at the same time, we should be able to understand and tolerate them from the standpoint of children. This will not only help them grow up healthily, but also help them understand their parents' difficulties to some extent.
For anxious parents, they must make corresponding psychological preparations before the arrival of their children's rebellious period, and at the same time, they should find their own hobbies, and don't put all their energy on their children, so that the relationship with their children can be eased.