Colleagues and husbands are both masters at school, so they pay special attention to their children's grades. However, it is not uncommon for parents of Xueba to raise their children with academic dross. Colleagues' children often get failed grades to be signed by colleagues. Of course, I was scolded by my colleagues every time. Colleagues do things resolutely, and when educating children, they are even more "handy".
"Children can't remember for a long time without hitting a few times!" Colleagues will add this sentence every time they complain that their children are disobedient. However, what bothers my colleagues is that although I have made it clear that my children's grades have not improved under my "beating and scolding education", but they have become particularly rebellious at a young age. As a colleague of Xueba, I don't understand why the beating and scolding education I experienced as a child failed in my children.
1. Parents lack the ability to control their emotions in front of their children.
When children make mistakes, parents don't want to be rational and calm and control their emotions. Parents vent their anger and troubles on their children. Of course, this also includes parents' frustration at their educational incompetence and anger at their educational authority being ignored. Parents don't know how to control their emotions, so the behavior of beating and scolding children happens from time to time, and children passively become the victims of their parents' emotions.
2. Influenced by the educational model you accept.
Many parents grew up through the education of beating and cursing, so it is easy for parents who lack educational methods to continue their educational methods. Parents thought their education was experienced, so they didn't realize it was inappropriate.
3. Ignore the child's inner feelings
It is difficult for parents to empathize with their children and ignore their inner feelings, thinking that "children are still young and will be forgotten after a while", but what parents didn't expect was that their beating and cursing of their children is likely to be the shadow that accompanies their children's life.
Earlier, there were news reports that a boy of 16 years old deliberately set fire. On the same day, a fire broke out in a residential area in Liaoning. Residents in the community have no choice but to call the police. Finally, after monitoring, the police found that a boy deliberately ignited the boring pile to carry out arson. Finally, the boy was caught by the police when he tried to set fire again. When asked about the cause of arson, the boy said, "My father always said that I would go to jail, so I went to jail early to show him."
1. Behavior is particularly rebellious.
Beating and scolding education is a radical way of education. In this way, children can easily show rebellious emotions, especially children's rebellious performance. Parents are the antithesis of children. Beating and scolding education prevents parents from entering their children's hearts, and parents and children cannot form an efficient communication model.
2. Emotional excitability
Parents show that their children are out of control by beating and cursing in front of them, which makes it easy for them to show emotional excitement when they encounter problems. Children praise violence too much and think that only violence can resolve differences and get the approval of the other party.
3. Fragile parent-child relationship
The abuse of parents hurts children's self-esteem and makes the emotional bond between parents and children particularly fragile. Excessive guidance can make the child yield, but the child's heart has been hurt to varying degrees. Children are increasingly alienated from their parents, and even if they know that their parents love them, they will try their best to escape.
It is normal for children to make mistakes when they grow up. Parents' appropriate coping style will benefit children, while inappropriate coping style will only lead children astray.
1. sympathize with children
When parents want their children to have empathy and understand the feelings of others, parents should also know how to understand their children's feelings. With empathy for children, parents can better understand their inner state and find ways to educate their children.
2. Listen to your child's thoughts
When children want to talk to their parents, parents need to be patient. Interrupting the child at will only make the child become silent. Recognizing children's expressions and giving them opportunities to explain can reduce children's misunderstandings and better understand the crux of the matter.
3. Get along with children equally
When mistakes occur, the condescending attitude of parents will make children feel particularly disgusted. Parents and children are equal, and they can better tell the truth that children are willing to accept. It is necessary for parents to realize that children also have self-esteem and children can understand the truth. When children are treated as independent individuals, parents' education is more likely to get feedback.
Beating and scolding education will only hurt children and make them more desperate. Real education is guided in a way that children can accept, which obviously requires the wisdom and care of parents. How to treat the education of beating and scolding?