I believe that this mother has also encountered the problem of disobedience of her children, and wants to let her children make the right decisions and live a better life through discipline. In fact, I feel the same way about children's disobedience.

I remember there was a time when my daughter was particularly disobedient. It's very cold in winter, so she must wear a summer skirt. Tell her the correct posture of holding the pen, but she deliberately writes in her own way. Let her eat quickly, or she will be late, but she just eats slowly ... such things are too numerous to mention.

I tried my best to get her to follow my train of thought.

I thought she wouldn't listen to me, so I said it backwards on purpose. When I asked her to make a choice in order to put on her winter clothes, she said it was very cold today. Although this winter coat looks good, this summer skirt seems more beautiful. Please wear this. Don't you think you should be afraid of the cold?

She eats slowly, so do I. I will say: You eat slowly, so I can have a rest. You have a class at 8 o'clock anyway. If you are late, the teacher won't say anything, will he?

When I said this, she especially wanted to make her own decisions, but she actually thought of some bad consequences, so I finally achieved my goal.

However, this can only be regarded as one of the ways to educate children. Every child is different, so there are many ways of education, and every parent has his own way, as long as your goal can achieve the goal of education without hurting children!

But before we figure out a way to discipline children without hurting them, let's get to know our children better!

In fact, the child's disobedience is only the child's behavior in the small rebellious period. Her self-awareness has increased, and she is eager to make her own decisions about everything, which is a good thing. Although most of her judgments are wrong at this time, we still have to give our children opportunities to explore, think and learn!

We usually look at the problem from our own point of view, give the child the answer to the question and let him do it.

We feel that we have rich life experience and can make the right decision faster, so our children should listen to us.

We want to save time, and we also want our children to make the right choice quickly, suffer less and take less detours.

But in fact, it is really the most important way to educate children to learn to think independently.

How can we not only let the child learn to think, but also let her make the right choice as soon as possible?

Let me give you some advice:

1. Parents are children's best teachers, and children's behavior habits are mostly learned by listening and obeying their parents.

It is better to set a good example for yourself than to preach to children. For example, if you want your child to tidy up his things, you can say and do this:

"The table is a mess! I don't like that messy feeling. I have to tidy up. " We can talk and do, which helps children understand the meaning behind our actions.

"I think it would be better to divide the table into areas before putting things!" When we clear the table, we can show our masterpieces to the children. "Is my desk clean?" Do you feel particularly comfortable? "

In daily life, we can constantly repeat some things and express our love for life and study, which will infect children and make them imitate adults and learn to love life.

2. Being good at listening to children's world is usually very simple and simple. If you don't understand the thinking behind children's behavior, it may lead to misunderstanding of children.

Children feel that they don't understand what adults say, so what adults say is naturally ugly.

Dr. Wei, the author of Children's Future Brain Project, tells the trivial life of him and his daughter in the book. It's also a matter of dressing up. Maybe all girls love to wear beautiful skirts.

In autumn and winter, after getting up, Dr. Wei's daughter found a skirt to wear in summer. She must wear it. As a father, it's hard to stop.

So, Dr. Wei listened to her daughter's thoughts and knew that she really wanted to wear a beautiful skirt to school. He understood and agreed with the children's ideas and continued to give them more advice: but what should I do now that the weather is very cold? The child thought about it and chose to wear a pair of pants under the skirt.

In this way, the contradiction between father and daughter may have been solved peacefully.

Listening brings us closer to children's hearts, and a good parent-child relationship is fundamental to solving personal problems.

3. guiding thinking if you always tell your child the answer to handling things, it is difficult for children to develop the habit of independent thinking. This habit will be the same in learning, that is: not thinking.

Guide children to learn to think in life. You can do this:

Parents must keep calm when there is a contradiction.

Let the children describe the cause, process and feelings of things first.

Then let the children talk about what they want to achieve.

Then let the children try to find a way to achieve their goals. Does the child need help from others?

Finally, after practice, is it feasible for children to think for themselves? Is there a better way to solve the problem?

Xu Teli said: the theory without reality is empty, and the reality without theory is blind. It is often more effective to let children feel the truth in life than to preach empty.

4. Respect the child's decision and respect the child. Sometimes children may be stubborn and won't listen to advice anyway. Then respect the child's decision and let her try! As long as it does not endanger life and disturb others, it is also very necessary for children to learn to grow up in mistakes.

Jane, author of Positive Discipline? Nelson said: Educate children in a gentle and firm way.

Modesty means not beating, scolding and punishing, listening to the child's thoughts carefully, communicating with the child in a gentle tone and language, and guiding her to find the answer to the question herself. When children really can't solve it, we adults will provide some feasible thinking suggestions for children to make their own judgments.

Being firm means not spoiling children and not letting education lose its principles. You can't give up the original educational principles because of the child's crying, and you can't lose the motivation to persist because of the child's repeated behavior habits.

As the saying goes, a good word warms three winters, and a bad word hurts people in June. Teach children not to be impatient, children also have the right to make mistakes, and adults must keep calm when making mistakes. Parents can only guide their children to do well if they do well. When dealing with things, even if the result of children's thinking is different from what we think, we should respect children's ideas and give them a chance to try and make mistakes.