We often think that children are too young to remember, but in fact they just can't express themselves. Children are simple and easy to believe what they hear. Adler, the originator of children's psychology, once said: "Children's perception ability is very strong, but their ability to interpret the world is not enough." Therefore, parenting education must remember irony, especially before the child is 5 years old.
Let's lead right-brain experts to share a case in life:
Last weekend, five-year-old Yang Yang and his mother played with building blocks in the living room. Yang Yang is building a tall tower with building blocks. When her mother saw that it was almost time to cook, she reminded Yang Yang, "Yang Yang, mom is going to cook. After a while, build your own building blocks and wait for your mother to cook before reading a book to play with you. " Yang Yang had a good time. Hearing what his mother said, he immediately shouted, "No, my mother wants to play with me." "Mom is going to cook, aren't you going to eat?" "That won't do either!" Yang Yang said, and began to cry. Mom was angry, too. "Didn't I tell you to play with you after dinner? Why don't you understand? " Cry, cry, you cry, you cry hard! Mom said that and left angrily. Yang Yang just sat on the floor and burst into tears. Mom just can't figure it out. Why can't this child understand what adults say? Why do you cry more and more?
Leading right brain expert analysis: Actually, Yang can't understand his mother's words? Yang Yang certainly understood what his mother said, "I'll cook." But then her mother saw that Yang Yang insisted on playing with her and cried. Her mother said, "You cried, you cried badly!" Yang Yang didn't understand this sentence, because Yang Yang sat on the ground and burst into tears after her mother finished. The mistake made by Yang Yang's mother is that she doesn't know the age characteristics of her children. Children of this age can't understand rhetoric, so they should use positive encouragement to strengthen their correct behavior, not negative education.
Preschool and early school-age children need their parents' role models and positive guidance. Children's behavior is mainly imitation learning. If they want their children to do what they want, they should show them first. Children usually have no direct response to some language instructions. Parents must supplement body language, such as gestures and movements, so that children can understand what parents mean. At the same time, children's understanding ability is poor, and the transfer of attention needs a process, so children should be given some time to think. In view of children's problems, when making demands on children, we should consider their psychological characteristics. There are some tips and strategies that can make children automatically transfer behavior as you ask.
Next, top right-brain experts will give you some ways to help parents solve similar problems in Yang Yang.
First of all, give your child some "psychological preparation" in advance.
Before playing games with children, you can tell them the time schedule first, so that they can be psychologically prepared. For example, my mother said to Yang Yang in advance, "It's four o'clock now, so we can build blocks for a while. At half past four, my mother cooks. You should read a book or play by yourself for a while. After dinner, my mother can play with you for an hour. " Although children don't have a sense of time yet, they will probably know how time is arranged, so they will be more fully prepared and easier to accept when they need to change their activities.
Second, imitate children's "bad behavior"
After the age of three, children have begun to judge which behaviors are right and which behaviors are wrong, that is, they have some simple judgment ability. When children are having fun, they refuse to end the game or let their mother leave, and their emotions will show some signs. Parents can imitate these performances. When children see adults doing such behavior, they will soon realize their behavior problems and adjust their emotions. If the child is about to cry, the mother pretends to cry, "I don't want to do it, I still want to play!" " "Pretend to cry. Children usually smile through tears. The tension between parents and children will also be eased.
Therefore, we should never underestimate an irony in daily life. Many times, the generation gap is created in this way. Even words can destroy a child. Parents are children's role models and children's dependence. They will evaluate things from an adult's point of view, even self-evaluation, so don't satirize children, because you will inadvertently convey emotions.