Please look at four different types of outlook on life:
The first kind of person is hedonism. Don't think too much about long-term things, just feel "happy!" Let's talk about things in the future! " "There is a way across the bridge!" I'm not completely ready to improve myself.
In college, I will see some college students pursuing their desired material life with tuition fees. For example, making friends in groups, having dinner, drinking, singing K, playing games in Internet cafes and shopping online. These entertainment consumption shows that the spiritual pursuit of some college students is superficial, but there are three problems behind it.
First, the material basis for social environment to create and enjoy; Second, the misleading values caused by social media in the era of information explosion; Third, there are problems in family education and school education.
Excessive expectations and improper control in family education will make children full of depressed emotions on campus, and once they have free space, they will erupt. "Conditional education and unconditional love." It is an effective educational concept.
Children pursue two kinds of self-worth, belonging and sense of value. Parents should have expectations for their children, intervene moderately, and leave some space for their children. For example, parents will ask their children for advice when making decisions. Such a trivial matter will make children feel that they have weight in their parents' hearts and enhance their sense of value. Sometimes we think it may not be appropriate to be nice to our children, which makes them feel that they are not important at all in their parents' hearts. This shows that there is a gap between our subjective feelings and children's ideas, and education needs to pay attention to ideas and methods.
At the same time, unconditional love doesn't mean unconditionally accepting any emotion from generate, but using the practice of "empathetic listening". That is to share the problems encountered in the process of growing up with children, rather than rushing to draw a line.
For example, if a child breaks a glass, parents will not immediately say, "How many times have I told you? Look! " Instead, he said, "Dad likes this cup very much, and now I'm sad to see it broken!" " ! I hope you can pay attention to it next time you run in the living room, ok? "Then give the child a big hug, which will have a better educational effect.
Don't let children feel that they have lost their parents' love immediately after making mistakes. But let the children know that even if you can't meet the requirements of parents, we still love you. This kind of love is unconditional, but there are principles and boundaries!
The second kind of people "bear the burden of humiliation." I think "as long as I can bear hardships, work hard and have a little luck, I will definitely live a happy life!" " ""sacrifice immediate happiness for greater happiness! " "Be sure to learn to be patient!" "When I am admitted to a famous university, I can relax! "
Imagine, have you ever heard such words in your life? The world is full of uncertainty. Is our life a process of pursuit? Or are you obsessed with the results? The golden mean tells us that it is not advisable to blindly pursue ways to change the surrounding environment in order to obtain happiness.
Teachers and parents inadvertently blurted out when educating their children, "As long as you are willing to endure hardships in high school for three years, you will have a brilliant future!" "It's okay. Dad sees that you are diligent. It's okay to suffer a little. You must have the spirit of hard work! " That makes sense. And if we can improve children's way of thinking and make them feel that learning is a lifelong thing and a process of enjoyment, then we don't have to wait until we step on the university gate and comfort them with other words when we are anxious about work.
Strengthen the way of thinking, not in exchange for children's diligence and hard work, but in order to get into a good university, use thoughtless sentences. We can spread the idea of happy learning, so that children can get a better learning experience. Not only in school, but also after entering the society, I still insist on constantly improving myself. You will find that children will become more resistant to setbacks.
There must be more than going to college in our life. Cultivating a child's strong heart as soon as possible will not only enable him to achieve something in his studies, but also enable him to perform well in social work in the future.
The third kind of person "loses meaning". I think "I can't", "I'm sure I can't" and "forget it!" Helplessness is not born, but imagined. What he can get rid of through hard work, he thinks he can't get rid of it and has no confidence in his own mercy.
There are many reasons for this way of thinking, including education. There is a classmate around me who grew up with his parents. Starting from kindergarten-Xiaoshengchu's parents helped introduce it; When the school was bullied, parents immediately rushed to the scene to give "guidance"; The senior high school entrance examination and college entrance examination were admitted to key high schools and universities through the relationship between parents and education bureau; Even looking for a job and falling in love are introduced by parents.
According to ordinary people, it seems to be "smooth sailing." But every time his parents introduced him, he refused. The reason why he refused was "I don't think I deserve her!" I'm not getting married! ""I will do this job all my life! " .
Parents' excessive care for their children makes them lose the opportunity to experience, try and make mistakes, fall and crawl. It is natural that children's personality imbalance leads to self-distrust and self-abandonment. Of course, children in this educational environment may also work very hard and make progress. However, the performance of resisting setbacks is often unsatisfactory. Because children are used to being protected.
Therefore, meaningless ways of thinking sometimes do not necessarily happen to children with very difficult family conditions. Therefore, children should be tested by life in the process of education. After all, children always have to be independent.
The fourth kind of people are "truly happy". They can concentrate on what they are doing at any time, and the satisfaction they get is always the most timely and profound, thinking that "I am very happy and my future will be beautiful!" " "
The three stages of learning should bring children a happy experience-
For children, learning should not be a patient process. Hope to get rid of the pain as soon as possible. Once I got rid of it, I thought comfort was happiness, but it wasn't. Learn to enjoy every moment of study, because now is the best presentation.
Changing ideas through learning requires planning and goals. Whether it can be achieved in the end is uncertain. The goal is meaning rather than ending. It is very important to enjoy the journey.
I once thought about how to climb the peak of wealth when I grow up. As a university law major, I didn't choose to retake the exam or go to graduate school, nor did I choose to pursue a so-called "stable" job, go to a bank or take an examination of civil servants. Instead, I chose to work immediately-do insurance.
My idea is: what should I do if my family life is tight? I must work and practice as soon as possible! After working in insurance, finance and education, I started my first venture. The road to entrepreneurship is hard. After encountering various setbacks, I was once confused. What can cheer me up is the constant encouragement and support of my wife and mother, which makes me cheer up and start a second business. The present is the youngest self. For the future, enjoy the process of struggle now.
I believe in three things: learning, action and change. I hope to contribute to the social progress of children's education. Instead of expecting to switch back to luxury material life such as villas and yachts to give me motivation to move forward. Because when you have one thing, it means you have lost another thing!
I am happy now and will be happy in the future. I will be a better self, just like being a better self when I am in class with my children. I feel the realization of my self-worth, so I am full of smiles and confidence in life.
There is no right or wrong in four different types of outlook on life. A clear understanding of the current situation will help us make timely adjustments. Through appropriate and correct educational methods, pave the way for children to be happy.