In fact, most parents have said such things to scare their children. In order to make naughty children quiet down, they finally adopted this simplest and rudest way after their patience was exhausted.
Indeed, it is still working at the moment, jumping up and down? Xiong Haizi? Become obedient.
I just can't remember my parents. This? Threats? Our educational methods have laid a greater curse for children's future development.
I met such a mother and son when I was shopping in the supermarket. The children clamored for ice cream.
After repeated persuasion, the mother finally said to the child without any way. Look at the old man in a wheelchair. He just ate too much ice cream when he was a child, and now he can't even walk. If you want to be like him, eat ice cream to your heart's content. ?
The child listened to his mother's words and felt incredible. He stood there for a long time without saying a word.
I was amused when I heard this description, but when I turned my head, I found that the child seemed a little scared and really looked at my grandfather in the wheelchair with his mouth open for a long time.
Two. ? Threatening education? Is it effective?
The boy next door is very naughty. Besides being naughty at school, it also gives adults a headache at home. He not only likes to stroll upstairs and downstairs, but also often sneaks out to play when his parents are not looking.
At first, his parents patiently educated him, but later, his parents frightened him. Recently, a particularly scary uncle came to the community. It is said that he will arrest disobedient children, eat their meat and bleed them completely. ?
Why can't I see my old classmates? (In fact, he has transferred to another school) because he was eaten by this strange uncle. Now you have to go out every day? ?
The little boy was really scared for several days after listening to his parents.
And then you meet a neighbor in a building and tell us this mysteriously? Secret? I'm afraid adults will be taken away, too
It's really worrying to see the poor and stupid little guy.
He did stop a lot during that time, but later he gradually realized his parents' lies and became more naughty than before.
Moreover, his parents have been talking about this topic, and he always has various reasons to talk back. Now his parents can't do anything about it.
In fact, it is not impossible for parents to educate their children in some special ways out of consideration for their safety, but they should also take into account their personality, knowing that what parents say is true in their children's hearts.
If it is only to regulate the behavior of children, parents will talk nonsense, which will lose their authority in the eyes of children, and he will not buy your account if he wants to educate children in the future.
Man next door in the story is a typical example. Perhaps this kind of intimidation did play some role at that time, but when children gradually understand the truth, they will lose trust in their parents.
Three. ? Threatening education? The irrationality and validity of.
What is intimidation? Take the way children are educated as an example. Parents make up something that scares their children in an attempt to achieve educational goals by using this unfounded method that does not follow objective facts at all.
However, it can only make children have a sense of terror and use this feeling to dominate their own behavior and play a temporary obedient role. This kind of education is not so reasonable, and its validity is very short.
Six-week validity test American psychologists have done an interesting experiment on this phenomenon: when he provided children with a toy that everyone was interested in, he first said to the first group of children: No one is allowed to touch these toys, or you will be punished? And the attitude at that time was very strict and horrible.
Then he said to another group:? You are not allowed to touch these toys, because we will give them to the children in the orphanage soon. ?
After the experimenter finished this, the children in both groups never touched the toys again.
Six weeks later, he brought the two groups of children together again.
Then he said to the children:? This is a toy that you particularly wanted to play with before. Now you can enjoy it. ?
He found that nearly 80% of the children in the group who spoke in a threatening tone were playing, while only 40% of the children in the group who spoke in a softer way were playing with their previous toys.
From this experiment, we can know that threatening education can really have a certain impact on children in the short term, but it is effective. Once this time has passed, the child will immediately show his true colors.
4. habit? Threatening education? What sequelae will parents bring to their children?
1. Anxiety
When parents are used to educating their children by intimidation, they will become very anxious. It is also a simple truth. Parents could have made the child understand why he was not allowed to do this, and then encouraged him to continue.
However, parents choose to scare their children, so that they can learn from the experience and not repeat the same mistakes.
Once or twice is ok, but as the child matures, this method cannot be effective for life.
In this process of repeatedly scaring children, they will become more and more extreme.
In the mouth of parents, they see a very dangerous world, full of unstable factors everywhere.
Many children have many psychological problems when they grow up, and even dare not sleep independently when they are adults. This doesn't sound ridiculous, but a very serious mental illness.
Many of these diseases stem from childhood fears and suspicions that there are ghosts under the bed, and the initial source of these fears is the participation of parents.
2. Will it be easy to raise? A naysayer child
Often use this educational method to scare children, maybe for a while, children will give some face and listen to your nagging from time to time. When he really realizes that things are not what adults say, the first thing that will happen is rebellious psychology.
Children don't analyze the ins and outs of things like adults. They are more concerned about whether they are happy now, not to mention their children. Even adults feel angry when they are cheated.
Children are simple in nature and can't stand being cheated by others. Once they find out that they have been cheated, they may not be able to express it in time, but there will be more and more negative emotions inside.
Some children usually look good, but after repeated threats and education, they always tell their parents everything. Play the devil's advocate If you really meet such a child, should parents also reflect on themselves?
Although the child is small, it does not mean that the IQ is low. When you find that many things are different from what your parents said, you will naturally realize that you have been cheated, and then you will naturally resist.
At this time, his parents told him to go east, and he always liked to go west. In short, everything must be done in the opposite direction. Maybe the child doesn't realize it, but this is a very typical revenge mentality.
3. Parents have lost their dignity
Educating children in this way often will make parents lose their dignity. In the eyes of children, parents should be the most awesome. Once the trust is lost, it means that the child has completely given up his parents.
In their minds, their parents' tall and stalwart image will immediately shrink, and if they really encounter anything serious in the future, their parents will say it and their children will not listen attentively.
5. try to avoid it? Threats? Parents can do this 1. Be patient and reasonable.
In fact, parents want to educate their children in this way, which is nothing more than quick success and instant benefit, and on the other hand, they want their children to remember it for a long time. But the most effective way is to patiently reason with children. Only by letting children understand the reasons behind it can we really prevent the problem from happening again.
2. Take some realistic punishment methods.
After the child has done something wrong, parents can make him remember it for a long time through some realistic punishments. For example, punish children for not buying their favorite toys for a month, or for not sweeping the floor for a week. In fact, there are many methods of education. The most important thing is that parents should learn to teach students in accordance with their aptitude. The effect of intimidation is only temporary, not particularly lasting. Don't lose more than you gain, leaving an indelible psychological shadow on your child.