First, distinguish the age of the object and treat it in two. For example, children who are not sensible, they do whatever they want, there is no right or wrong standard, only personal will. In addition, the age is still small and the experience is almost zero. In the process of exploring the world, mistakes are inevitable. It doesn't matter if you yell at him, scold him or hit him. You can only guide him up slowly in the right place. For sensible children, we can take measures such as making them reflect and communicate with him. Just not across the board.
Second, distinguish the mistakes and analyze the specific situation. If a child makes a mistake, if it is unintentional or helpless, he will be in a state of deep remorse afterwards. At this time, parents don't need to lecture their children at length. Too much criticism and accusation can only increase the psychological burden of children's guilt. At this time, we should give priority to comfort and warning. If you know it is a wrong behavior, but you do it on purpose, and you lie and argue afterwards, and you don't know your own mistakes, then criticize education, reason, and be emotional, so that children can truly realize their mistakes.
Third, stop it in time and cool down. This is mainly aimed at some wrong behaviors with emotions. For example, if a child fights with others, parents should stop it in time and take the child home. Because the child is very excited and angry at this time, he can't hear reasoning education at all. Therefore, it is best to let go first, and then enlighten, criticize and educate after the child's mentality is stable, which is conducive to the child's acceptance.
Fourth, we should reward and punish properly. Especially for those children who knowingly commit bad behaviors and refuse to change their education, words alone cannot convince and educate children. In order to make him correct and remember for a long time, he can be punished for thinking too much and doing more housework. As long as the child does not commit another crime within a certain period of time, he should be praised and rewarded. Parents should remember that rewards are much more effective than punishments.
Five, the appropriate use of natural punishment law. Since the child has done something wrong, he must bear the consequences. By bearing the consequences of their own mistakes, let children learn lessons and sum up experience, and naturally they will not repeat the same mistakes in the future.
Sixth, do not beat and scold, do not indulge. Beating and cursing may have a deterrent effect on children's error correction, but it will cause great physical and mental harm to children; Indulgence will encourage children's arrogance and courage to do bad things. Doing evil in a small way will eventually make a big mistake.
Under normal circumstances, I will punish my children for their mistakes.
For example, before the child plays with water, I have told him not to get his clothes wet, which is easy to catch a cold. When he still got his clothes wet carelessly, I punished him and let him change his wet clothes by himself.
For example, my child likes to climb up and down, and we all tell him that he can only climb the highest parallel bars when there are adults around. Once he got on the parallel bars and couldn't get off. He kept screaming there. Father heard it upstairs and immediately ran to the playground to find the children. But he didn't get it. Hold the child down until he is exhausted. The child's father said to him, "When playing these dangerous climbs, parents must be around.". Your mother and I have taught you this at ordinary times. In that case, who would you turn to for help if I wasn't around? You just fell down by yourself. So dad gave you what you deserved. Let yourself scream loudly, and dad won't hold you down. "
Gold is not enough, no one is perfect. When children make mistakes, the most important thing is to see what attitude parents have towards their children's mistakes. I talk about some treatments from the perspective of positive discipline. The educational concept of positive discipline is to teach children not to beat and scold.
Method 1: Use heuristic questions. Most parents will be angry after their children make mistakes and will tell them directly where you are wrong. Blaming and punishing the child is to impress him and avoid making mistakes again. This will hinder the child's self-reflection ability. For example, a child is playing without finishing his homework and doesn't hand in his homework the next day. If parents scold their children face to face, it will damage their self-esteem. The use of heuristic questions can make children think about the reasons for their mistakes. How should we avoid it in the future? Such questions can cultivate children's thinking ability and sense of responsibility. You can ask him, "How are you going to arrange your homework in the future?" When you asked him, he knew in his heart that he had done something wrong. I'll reconsider what to do.
Method 2: Take teaching children to make mistakes as a good opportunity to learn. Instead of treating mistakes as a scourge. "People are not sages, to err is human?" We made mistakes ourselves when we were young, didn't we? Children will grow better by making mistakes again and again. Some parents regard making mistakes as a very serious matter; And some parents will downplay this and laugh it off. Children can reflect and learn from their mistakes. Isn't that a good thing? If a child forgets to bring a book to school, you can ask him what to do in the future. After thinking, children will come up with some solutions. Be sure to put the book away and check it again every night. And gained valuable experience from it. Parents can also say to their children in a humorous tone: "Haha, so you didn't fly in class today?"
Method 3: Try hugging. In the previous traditional education, as a child, we were frightened when we made mistakes. There is no time not to be scolded, and it is very uncomfortable after being scolded every time. I hope parents can understand and forgive themselves. In positive discipline, people can only do better when they feel good. In fact, many mistakes made by children are his age-appropriate behavior. That is, children of this age are prone to make mistakes. Therefore, parents should be more tolerant of their children's mistakes. When they have bad behavior, calm down and try to get your child to give you a hug. I believe that Haagen-Dazs, no matter how expensive it is, will surely melt in your arms. If the child doesn't want to hug, wait until he is ready. Hugging can create an encouraging atmosphere, so that children are willing and able to accept your words.
In any case, we should not take our children to the battlefield, let alone get into a power struggle with your children. Love is the best way to solve all problems.
Every child's temperament (temperament dimension) is unique, so every child makes mistakes for different reasons. The specific strategies are as follows:
The first step is to find the threshold (score) of each temperament dimension of children through perspective.
Third, summarize the child's personality (nine directions) according to the child's personality portrait (radar map)
Fourthly, according to the portrait, the keynote of children's education is deduced, including the educational strategies of reading and learning, interpersonal relationship and sports activities.
In this way, parents can help their children effectively according to their nature. After children make mistakes, they can not only accept and be willing to correct these problems, but also will not destroy any parent-child relationship.
Parents should remember that every child is unique. Only by finding the right tone for children's upbringing can we scientifically help children correct their mistakes, otherwise it will not only destroy the parent-child relationship, but also accidentally hurt children. Thank you for inviting me.
This problem is a hurdle that everyone has to face, and everyone's psychological reaction and handling methods are different. In real life, I have seen many parents' educational methods and models for their children. As a teacher, I have extraordinary upbringing and deep feelings.
When children make mistakes, as parents, it is always inevitable to be emotional, angry and extreme. In particular, I am also an introverted and easily out of control. I usually try to be quiet and patient with other people's children. As long as children make mistakes, they will curse first and even have extreme violence. This kind of parental behavior has intensified. When children grow up and become parents again, the traditional parental transmission mode continues to take over. I think it is urgent in my eyes. As teachers and parents, there are undeniable excesses in educating children, which make children regret it. I would like to remind parents that when their children make mistakes, they must be patient and meticulous, find out the reasons, analyze the causes and consequences of the behavior, and explain the root causes of the mistakes, so that the children can be convinced and regret it. Don't run around, it's a vicious circle.
Children make mistakes. First of all, we must distinguish the nature of mistakes. Some mistakes are not in the eyes of adults.
For example, according to the age characteristics of children, the reasons for lying are different. We can understand that some children lie to get their parents' approval and recognition. In this case, we need to reflect on our parents' own behavior.
Therefore, for example, it is not to emphasize the mistakes made by children, but to lie, but to let parents reflect on the deeper reasons behind their children's mistakes from this matter.
After a child makes a mistake, punishment is the second, and the first method is still how to solve and avoid making mistakes. This is the most critical content, which we as parents need to overcome with our children in family education.
If we want to say punishment, then parents have a greater responsibility. After all, children's family education is completed by parents, and the mistakes made by children are actually the mistakes of parents' educational means or educational concepts. From this perspective, should parents be punished more?
In short, if a child makes a mistake, the first thing we have to do is to clarify the nature of the mistake. If moral or serious legal mistakes are involved, such behavior must not be condoned. If it is caused by family or other reasons, then we need to help children to analyze it carefully and overcome it seriously to avoid similar behaviors in the future.
Avoiding the recurrence of mistakes is the top priority of family education, followed by punishment, which is a last resort.
It is inevitable that children will make mistakes. To err is human. It is not terrible for children to make small mistakes, but it is easy to make bigger mistakes if they are not corrected in time. Parents should have a correct attitude and treat children who make mistakes correctly. I'll talk about my opinion based on my three-year-old child.
Parents should control their emotions. When parents know that their children have made mistakes, they should try their best to control their emotions, calmly understand the situation to their children, and tell the story through their children, so that they can distinguish what they have done right and what they have done wrong, which is helpful for their children to clearly understand the mistakes and correct them.
Parents should have a reward and punishment system. When children make mistakes, parents should give appropriate punishment according to the situation. For example, don't buy his favorite toys or stand against the wall for a while, so that children can understand that mistakes come at a price, and let them take warning.
When parents want to reflect on their children's mistakes, parents should calm down and reflect on why their children make such mistakes, look at the problem from the child's point of view, find out the reasons, and adjust the ways and means of educating their children in time.
Every child has his own characteristics, and there are many ways and means of education. Parents should constantly learn to correct their own educational methods according to their children's growth, and what suits them is the best.
Don't stare at your child's mistakes, always emphasize to him what you did wrong, stare at every progress of your child, tell him in detail in time, and help him correct it with positive feedback.
Maybe I was too meticulous in my work, which led to my son's carelessness. I'm worried that I can't remember without reminding him. For example, when I take a shower, I always help him unplug the power, and he can't remember without reminding me. Then one day he did it himself. I hasten to say that you are very careful this time. When you really grow up, you will learn to pay attention to these things. I can see that.
You can't emphasize the bad things he did. You mean to remind him, but you labeled him. Psychological suggestion is very powerful. I used psychological suggestion to interfere with my son's behavior. The pro test is very powerful. Don't label children easily.
What if the child makes a mistake? Teach you three unique skills, that is, punishing children, but also beneficial to children, children make mistakes, which has always been a headache for parents. Teach you three unique skills, that is, punishing children and benefiting children.
Situation 1: What if the child shouts?
Every time a child screams, parents want the child to shut up and not cry at once, but they often use the wrong method. The more you abuse and threaten your child, the louder the child cries, and may even destroy the parent-child relationship and make the child hate you for life.
In this case, the best way is cold treatment.
Simply put, you can hug your child, or stay with your child and treat your child's crying calmly, but don't let your child's crying affect you, make you emotional, angry and scold your child. Don't even lock your child directly in a dark room, or let the child hang mercilessly until the child cries to find his parents.
The cold treatment here focuses more on parents' emotional control ability than cold violence against children. Its purpose is to let children vent their emotions, rather than forcing children to stop crying in a rude way.
All preaching, wait for the child's crying voice to fade, then comfort him and communicate with him. In this way, children can not only vent their current bad emotions, but also listen to their parents' education and realize their mistakes, which is most beneficial.
Situation 2: How to punish the child for making a small mistake?
Xiong Haizi may not be punished once or twice, but many times. This time line is very long. Why not let children form a good habit by punishment, or learn a good skill, develop a good body, and so on. Punishment may appear in the form of punishment, but its essence is interest.
For example:
Penalty run: exercise the child's body.
Penalty writing review: exercise children's writing style.
The punishment of reciting ancient poems: exercise children's memory.
Wait a minute.
These punishments must take children a certain amount of time and energy to achieve. How can children remember their mistakes for a long time without hard work? However, it should be noted that it may be effective for parents to choose a punishment method and insist on using this one all the time.
For example, every time a child writes a review, he is punished. If he can't write it, don't dig deep into the context of things and the psychology of the characters. Don't ponder language expression to let his review pass at one time? Children's writing ability must be good these years.
Situation 3: What should I do if I punish him for not working?
Some children, once their parents are angry and disciplined severely, can still be improved by obeying. But some children, because of ignorance, have nothing to fear, and parents' hard moves are useless.
For example:
What can you do if you punish your child for eating food he doesn't like, but the child refuses to eat it?
Punish the child to do housework and sweep the floor, but he won't do it until he dies. What can you do with him?
Some people say that children will not be forced to accept punishment! But if the child gives in, then your preaching still works; Shouldn't parents be angry if their children don't give in?
Therefore, at this time, parents will have to change their way of thinking to punish their children. For example, confiscate snacks, reduce pocket money, drink less, watch less TV, and can't play mobile games to reduce these "treatments" that are not conducive to children's physical and mental health.
In this way, children will feel lost, realize that they have lost the treatment of eating snacks, spending pocket money, watching TV and playing mobile phones because of mistakes, and effectively control the adverse effects caused by children using these things too much, killing two birds with one stone!
When children make mistakes, parents should pay attention to methods and give different degrees of punishment according to their priorities, so as to effectively correct their mistakes. Once you make a mistake, it's no use calling again later. Beating children should be a last resort for parents.
Is there any good way to punish children? Welcome to leave a message, discuss and share in the comment area.
Parents should correctly treat 1 small mistakes in life. Procrastination is the most unbearable thing for children, which is why I often get angry with him. Other mistakes in life are often made, but I basically don't lose my temper, because children are still young, don't know right and wrong, and can't distinguish good from evil. The first step after making a mistake is to appease communication; The second step is to carefully analyze the advantages and disadvantages of the reasons and put facts to reason; The third step is to give him a punishment result that he recognizes; The fourth step is to forgive after punishment, calm emotions through conversation and strengthen parent-child relationship.
It is normal to be angry when doing homework, and it is more normal to regret after being angry! What a hurry! I can't wait to go up and help him write! After more than a year of companionship experience, I summed up my reflection, or my parents' perspective is wrong, and they always look at their children's problems from their own perspective. Parents find it difficult to be a simple child, which is the gap between time and knowledge and experience. We should put ourselves in the children's shoes and give them more patience! Now in my homework, I basically don't get angry, let him make mistakes, and then patiently help him guide.
The process of children's learning and growth is also the process of parents' learning and growth. Parents turn themselves into children, learn if they don't understand, and teach if they learn. Pretend that you don't know what you know, learn from your children and promote their learning.
Sincere companies can grow together!