How can parents guide their children to face setbacks and let them understand the significance of this matter? This problem is a headache for many parents and has a great influence on their children's future development. Education is a long process. Now share how parents guide their children to face setbacks.
How do parents guide their children to face setbacks? 1 Parents' love leads to children's poor ability to resist setbacks.
Many parents cut off their children's wings when they are young, but force them to fly alone when they grow up.
1, do everything for children, make them lose their ability to exercise themselves, and make them lack the ability to face setbacks; When all the children are taken good care of, naturally there is no chance to try any challenges.
When children encounter any difficulties and setbacks, parents' first reaction is to blame each other, but their children have no responsibility. But no one in society will pay for children's mistakes, so when they have no one to rely on, they will be crushed by setbacks.
Parents just say it doesn't matter if they fail. If they lose, they lose. They want to comfort their children and put too much pressure on them. But they never analyze why they failed with their children, so failure doesn't matter in their hearts, so they choose to avoid setbacks.
What are the misunderstandings in frustration education?
1, don't artificially create setbacks.
There are too many setbacks in our life, and these setbacks are inevitable. Parents don't need to deliberately create and test their children. If children can't handle these man-made setbacks correctly, it will dampen their self-confidence and make them feel inferior.
2. Don't sit still completely.
In order to cultivate their children's resistance to setbacks, some parents will choose to ignore problems in the hope that their children can solve them independently. However, due to age, children still hope to get help from their parents. At this time, parents should give their own suggestions and give their children guidance to solve setbacks.
3. Give timely guidance.
Children will inevitably feel depressed after encountering setbacks. At this time, parents must not abandon their children, and certainly don't praise them too much, because these methods are extreme. The correct way should be to give them the necessary comfort, channel their uncomfortable emotions and let the children cheer up as soon as possible.
What is Mrs Gandhi's law?
When Mrs Gandhi's eldest son needed surgery, the doctor wanted to ease the child's nervous mood, so he wanted to make up some white lies to comfort the child. But it was stopped by Mrs. Gandhi, who clearly told the child that there would be some discomfort after the operation and it would also bring him great physical pain. However, these are all things he must face. No matter how much he complains and cries, it won't help, so the only way is to learn to face and accept bravely.
It tells us that all setbacks are objective and will not disappear or weaken because of human consciousness. It's sudden, so everyone, including children, has to bear it alone.
Enlightenment of Mrs Gandhi's Law
1, learn to face setbacks bravely
Mrs Gandhi's law tells children that we must face the setbacks in life bravely, because each of us can't escape. If we don't have the courage to get cold feet or even give up on ourselves when we encounter a little setback, then our life will inevitably fail to develop, and it is easy to be surrounded by difficulties all the time and unable to be ourselves.
2. Strong endurance
It is precisely because Mrs. Gandhi told the child truthfully the setbacks she would face that the child could accept everything calmly after the operation without leaving any shadow. Therefore, when children are young, parents must teach them the correct attitude towards setbacks. In addition to facing setbacks bravely, we should learn to bear them bravely. In this way, they will have a strong ability to resist pressure in their future lives.
You can do this when your child is facing setbacks.
1, work hard with children
With the new identity of parents, we should work harder to grow up and learn to take care of ourselves, so as to educate our children well. In the face of difficulties in life, parents should always keep their own mentality, infect their children with an optimistic attitude, let them treat life confidently and improve their ability to resist stress.
2. Accompany children to find out the root causes of setbacks and analyze and solve them.
When children encounter setbacks, parents must not laugh at them, but let them stabilize their emotions first, and then comfort them with flexible language. After that, I will accompany my children to calmly analyze, find out the reasons for this failure, and guide them to find a solution. When children can cope with setbacks independently, their self-confidence will be higher and higher, and their ability to solve problems will be stronger and stronger.
3. Give children the opportunity to take the initiative
As parents, they should care and take care of their children, but this does not mean that children are their private property. Every parent should give their children enough space to actively explore the world around them and find a successful experience. Never do everything in the name of love and deprive children of their initiative, otherwise children will only escape from setbacks.
4, learn to support and encourage children, but also give appropriate criticism.
When children's practical ability in life has improved, parents should point out specific reasons to praise their children, such as building a small building and washing a pair of socks. This will let children know why they are praised, so they will gradually build up their self-confidence, which is the basis of their ability to resist setbacks.
Of course, children should also be properly criticized for making mistakes. Just be careful not to attack the child, otherwise the child will only become inferior. The correct way is to give children some guidance and teach them to correct their mistakes and make progress in reflection.
How do parents guide their children to face setbacks? 2 1. First, be patient with them.
In the process of children's growth, the most important thing is the patience of parents. No matter what age a child is, he should be without his parents. Especially when children encounter setbacks, it is also the time when parents are most needed. At this time, they want the encouragement and comfort from their parents most. Of course, only parents' encouragement and comfort can give them the strength to overcome setbacks and hardships. Many parents lack companionship with their children, and they can't appear when their children need encouragement and comfort, which will cause certain psychological pressure to their children.
2. Second, communicate patiently.
When children encounter setbacks, our parents must tell them a truth: everyone will encounter setbacks in their own growth process, and each of us can only grow up in the process of constantly overcoming setbacks. When children understand this, they will understand that life is a process of constantly overcoming setbacks, and only after experiencing setbacks will they see the rainbow of life.
3. Third, grow together.
In the process of children's growth, it is actually the process of parents and children growing together. When children encounter setbacks, we need to accept their inner feelings, accept their frustration, and then accompany them with our patience and explain the truth to them. In fact, this is also a process of growing up with children. Only when our parents give love and patience can we see the growth of our children.
Accept our children, give them encouragement and support, and help them become stronger and stronger.
How parents guide their children to face setbacks 3. Let the children learn by themselves.
Cao Gang: "Examples speak louder than words". Parents' attitudes and behaviors towards setbacks will exert a subtle influence on children's attitudes and behaviors. At the same time, you can also let your children be your role models. For example, every time a child overcomes a setback, parents can guide the child to record things.
In this way, when the child faces setbacks in the future, parents can remind him to look at these records and learn from himself. In life, parents can be children's "consultants" and teach their children some ways to overcome difficulties, but in the end, they should let their children make their own decisions and implement them themselves.
Evaluate children rationally
Mother Reese: In psychology, there is a phenomenon called "peacock mentality", which is exactly the case. These children are usually more competitive, strive for the first place in everything, and can't tolerate others being better than themselves. It is associated with many people who are devastated when they encounter setbacks and even commit suicide to end their young lives. It is not too late to cultivate children's resilience.
As parents, we should seize the favorable opportunity to let our children face up to setbacks. For example, children accidentally fall, and some parents rush to pick up their children and stomp their feet desperately, accusing the floor of being wrong. In fact, it is easy for children to blame others when they grow up. I think the right thing to do is to encourage children to be brave. If the fall hurts, it doesn't matter if they cry a few times For older children, we can let them learn chess and go, and in the process of playing, they constantly suffer failures and victories. Sometimes, parents can take the initiative to create conditions at an appropriate time to let their children taste the taste of failure.
Give enough love when you are frustrated.
Qingyi: Last time my daughter's kindergarten selected "smiling angel", she didn't evaluate it. She was very, very sad. It took me two or three days to heal her frustrated little heart. In fact, children need the love of their parents most at this time. At the same time, as parents, we should treat children's honor peacefully. Although it is gratifying for children to win prizes, there is no need for parents to be in high spirits. They can keep a low profile, but the child failed and was depressed. Pay attention at this time, especially if the child has done his best. We can reward and encourage her appropriately, and let her know that her parents don't love her more because of her Excellence, but always care about her.
My daughter was depressed that day, and the next day I took her to the bookstore to buy books as a reward, because she did well in kindergarten, which seemed to have a good effect.
Liu Pengzhi, in the 1970s, the "Junior Class" of China University of Science and Technology was famous all over the country. Among the outstanding "prodigies" of that year was Zhang Yaqin, the global vice president of Microsoft and the youngest academician of IEEE. But at that time, most people in the country only knew that there was a child named Ningbo. After 20 years, Ningbo has quietly disappeared from public view, while Zhang Yaqin, which was unknown at that time, was well-known at home and abroad. Why?
In the final analysis, it is the difference in their resilience that leads to today's gap. Because the growth process is too smooth, it is difficult for Ningbo to have the courage to face failure. After graduating from college, although Ningbo strongly hoped to apply for graduate students, she gave up hope again and again. Because he is too afraid of failure. In the face of setbacks, Zhang Yaqin has the courage to make progress and is not afraid of failure, which is the reason why he has achieved today.
"Frustration education" is actually to let children not only get happiness from the outside world, but also stimulate an instinct of self-seeking happiness from the heart. How should parents cultivate their children's resilience?
First of all, parents should establish a sense of frustration education. Many parents think that children have poor psychological endurance and should be protected. This concept directly affects children. In fact, it is good for a person to suffer some setbacks, especially in the early days. Parents should correctly treat the educational value of setbacks as a good way to temper their will and improve their adaptability.
Secondly, parents should deliberately set some obstacles for their children. For children, it is inevitable that they will encounter difficulties and obstacles on the road to growth. If children are used to walking on a smooth road, listening to what they hear and doing what they like, they will not be used to it once they encounter difficulties, thus being helpless and nervous, which will easily lead to failure. Therefore, parents may wish to deliberately set some obstacles for their children in their daily study and life, or say "no" to their children's requirements and "add some calcium" to their children.
Third, parents should encourage their children to overcome difficulties and setbacks. Some children are prone to negative reactions in adversity, often become dejected and despondent, and adopt the way of retreating. To change this phenomenon, it is necessary to educate children to face setbacks bravely and challenge them when they encounter difficulties. For example, when children are afraid of heights and climb mountains and wrestle, they should be encouraged to say, "Don't be afraid, you can do it!"! What is a fall? " When children overcome difficulties again and again, they will increase their courage and stimulate their desire to overcome difficulties, their fears will disappear, their self-confidence will be enhanced and their ability to resist setbacks will be cultivated.
Fourth, after the child fails, we should enthusiastically encourage the child. There are too many disappointments in life. For children, the warmth and support of family members are the source of confidence. People are emotional animals, and how much we hope our children can walk well, but setbacks follow their children's lives like shadows, so we should take it as a normal part of life with a normal heart. Therefore, when children face setbacks, parents should pay more attention to their hearts, warm them with warmth, guide them, and avoid setbacks from hurting their hearts.
Fifth, guide children to read more biographies of great men. After reading too much, I feel that the process of life is a process of constantly overcoming difficulties and setbacks. Compared with great men, the difficulties and setbacks we encounter are really nothing. Great men struggle with big waves in the sea, and our frustration is really like encountering a little wave when boating in the park.