A girl from a high school in Shenzhen, Guangdong Province left a suicide note to jump off a building, saying, "Because my parents don't know me, please give me a knife if I don't die"; A 19-year-old boy in Jiangsu broke the school glass, fearing being scolded by adults, so he smashed the glass at home to apologize for his death. An eight-year-old girl in Chengdu jumped from her 2 1 building because her parents refused to watch TV ... In recent years, we can see many "social cases", which seem to prove that her children are too old for blx and her age is declining.

According to the survey of psychologists, 46% children in China have different degrees of "blx". Being criticized makes you unhappy, depressed and even more unbearable. Then why are children so psychologically fragile now? This is actually related to the parenting style of parents.

★ Why are children easy to "blx"? What is "blx"? "blx" means that people's psychology is as fragile as glass, and they can't bear the blow or the pressure. Then why are children easy to "blx"?

◆ blx spoiled by parents

Parents nowadays are very fond of their children. No matter the old people, parents or spoiled children, they are afraid that they will melt in their mouths and fall into their hands, so they always take care of their children carefully. Over time, children will get used to taking and enjoying, and once they encounter rejection and criticism, they will easily feel frustrated and even do more extreme things.

◆ The boasted blx ◆

Some parents, as long as their children do it, will praise whatever they do, and say that they fell beautifully when they fell. And it will only generally say that children are smart, really good and great, and it is not clear where they are doing well and where they are not doing well enough. Therefore, when praise has no specific direction, children tend to become conceited. Faced with failure, or worse, people often can't accept it. After all, the higher they hold, the more painful they fall now.

◆ suppressed blx

Too many setbacks since childhood, often scolded and controlled. Parents have no principles, and children often don't know why they are easily punished and scolded. Children who grow up in this environment will also subconsciously form the wrong idea that "I am not good enough, so I will not be loved". Therefore, in the process of interacting with others, they will pay special attention to other people's ideas and comments, and will be over-understood if they are criticized a little.

Therefore, children are particularly easy. Blx really doesn't blame children, and don't always say inexplicably, "Why did our children become like this?" Parents must know that your child's blx is all "taught" by you. Such children are not just blx, but their adversity quotient is often very low.

★ What is "adversity quotient"? What is the decisive role for children? What is adversity quotient? The word adversity quotient was coined by American educator Paul? Stotz once put forward a term that refers to people's reaction to "adversity". In other words, it is the ability to get rid of difficulties, face setbacks and surpass difficulties. If the adversity quotient is too low, you can't stand any hardships and pressures. Some experts believe that adversity quotient plays a decisive role in a person's future.

An impressive thing happened in Taiwan Province Province:

A few years ago, an underage boy took part in the TV singer contest. His parents are famous singers in Taiwan Province Province. Because of this, he grew up under the stars and the moon. The game was broadcast live. When the boy finished singing and stood on the stage waiting for the judges' comments, he didn't want the judges to "have mercy" at all, because his parents were both famous singers. He bluntly said, "You sing so badly, do you still want to be a singer?" Hearing the judge say this, the boy froze, and the whole abnormal behavior was televised, which surprised everyone. It is reported that his family later spent a lot of money and energy to treat him, and it took several months to return to normal.

Nowadays, many parents are used to clearing all the obstacles and setbacks in their children's life and "clearing" all the opportunities that originally belonged to their children's exercise, which also makes the older the children, the more opportunities they face setbacks and the worse their inner flexibility. Especially when children enter the society, such children who can't bear setbacks and have low adversity quotient will be particularly at a loss when they encounter setbacks, and even have no way to bear them, and they are desperate to "solve them by death." So what decisive role will adversity quotient play for children?

Dare to challenge "impossible" tasks. Children in Gao adversity quotient often have a sense of situational control when teaching high school, and they will not flinch easily in the face of difficulties.

◆ The more frustrated, the more brave. Children with high adversity quotient will have higher endurance in adversity.

Be good at self-examination. Children of adversity quotient are more inclined to find reasons from themselves, even if it is obvious that others have problems.

This shows that "adversity quotient" is very important to children, so how should parents cultivate their children's "adversity quotient" ability?

★ How should parents "frustrate and educate" their children? Seize the opportunity

To educate children about setbacks, there is no need to deliberately create frustration situations. The key is to grasp the most real situation in life and educate children about setbacks in a targeted manner. For example, taking children out for a walk, some children will hold them for a while. At this time, parents should encourage their children to walk by themselves and hone their will, even if they cry at you, they should be firm. It is more effective to educate children about setbacks in real life situations than in deliberately created situations.

◆ The educational concept of the family should be consistent ◆

Family members must have a unified concept of education for their children, and there must be no combination of bad COP and bad COP. Especially in families living with elders, elders and parents often have differences. At this time, we must be consistent, and family education should have "joint efforts" to avoid letting smart children take advantage of loopholes and fail to play the role of frustration education.

◆ Give children a chance to experience failure ◆

Now many children encounter "setbacks", either crying or losing their temper, shouting "I don't play anymore, you can't beat me, I don't believe in another game" and so on. These are all because children don't have a correct view of winning or losing, or when adults play with children, they only know how to be humble to them. But adults should make it clear to their children that there are many possibilities in the competition. Some people win and some people lose, but these are only temporary, and there will still be more different challenges in the future. Losing is not terrible, but being afraid of losing is terrible.

Parents should know that suffering and setbacks can't really make a person. When encountering setbacks and pains, we should seek solutions from them, and facing them bravely is the real courage. When things happen, don't blx, but know how to face and solve them; And these are the most important truths that parents should teach their children.