The most common thing in education is that mothers praise their children too much and even rely on them, while fathers feel that children should be strictly disciplined, and they should not praise them often, fearing pride and modesty.
On the one hand, it encourages education, on the other hand, it is in favor of frustration education. Spoiling makes children unwilling to be separated from their parents, relying too much on frustration education and hitting their self-confidence. If there is any problem, they will shrink back or even run away.
Motherly love is often more emotional. They are very concerned about their children. Often what children don't think, she has done for them. And fatherly love is more rational, and sometimes even merciless.
In fact, the inconsistency between the two sides in the way of children's education is not a problem of parent-child relationship or even educational concept, but the marriage relationship needs to be changed.
Everyone is good at finding problems in others, but when it comes to himself, he loses his judgment. And don't always think about how to criticize each other after finding problems. It is best to solve the fundamental problem through effective communication.
If you want to solve problems efficiently, you can't just talk without practice, but pay attention to skills. Generally speaking, it is difficult for adults to change their behavior habits for a while. If you directly tell the other person that he is wrong, it is actually emotional at this time, and no one can think rationally enough when he is denied.
When educational ideas are inconsistent, parents should communicate and solve problems first, and then implement educational methods to their children.
Don't wait for action to accuse the other party of poor educational methods, because it will be too late to talk about it then, and it is easy to cause disputes in front of children.
Reasoning is never as good as action. Instead of accusing the other person of being wrong, show him what is right. If you think the other person is not doing well, try to present it visually. And it is best to improve the parent-child relationship between yourself and your child first.
If you find that the other person will be more obedient when educating children, it means that you still have a lot to improve. I have learned some parenting skills recently, so I can try it first. If the effect is not bad, I will tell each other my educational methods, because I have achieved good results, which will be more convincing.
As long as the facts are in front of him, sometimes he doesn't need to argue with each other too much, so he will change the education mode to keep both sides in sync.
Directly pointing out that there is something wrong with the other party's education method is not only blunt, but also easy to cause conflicts between husband and wife. And if the accused party does not come up with a better solution to this problem, it is said that the other party has done something wrong, which is not convincing at all, and it will not help any improvement except creating more contradictions.
Parents' mutual accusations and debunking will also confuse children's educational concepts. Both parents insist on their own education methods, which will make children don't know what to do to meet their parents' requirements.
Parents want to give their children the greatest love and cultivate their children into an ideal appearance, but they ignore their inner feelings and even the expectations and requirements of the other half in marriage. Parents' ideals are beautiful, but they lack many skills and methods when they are actually implemented, and there are contradictions between the two sides in education, which leads to inconsistency and even confrontation between the two sides in this process.
Children's problems are concrete manifestations of parents' marital problems. Parents see each other's poor education for their children, but in fact they think they are not well educated. The root of the problem is not outside, but in themselves.
When the education methods are inconsistent, don't be busy blaming the other party or children, but think about yourself first, whether some methods and ideas are wrong, or whether there is a better integrated way to educate children, which can make the other party feel comfortable and acceptable.
On the issue of educating children, husband and wife do not compete with each other, but need to cooperate with each other. To be perfect for each other is to be perfect for yourself. Always say don't order children, in fact, it also applies to don't order the other half on education issues. Everyone should have a cooperative relationship to make the relationship between parents and children and between husband and wife more harmonious.
Practice lets you know that you think the other person's way of educating children is wrong. Then tell him what is right with practical actions, and let the result speak, instead of simply giving orders and blaming.
Educating children is not as complicated as imagined, because children themselves are simple and they don't want much. As long as parents love and family members can care about each other, they can become the best source of motivation for progress.
Everyone has different understanding of children's education, and the corresponding requirements will be different, which is also the main reason for the educational contradiction between parents.
It needs running-in and discussion between parents. Don't think it's all each other's fault the first time you find a problem. Think about yourself first. Maybe it's not the other person who's wrong.
Education should be diversified, and parenting should not only stay in concept, but also be applied and handled flexibly in practice in combination with children's own characteristics. There are still many places that parents need to learn and improve.