A few days ago, Youyou listened to Rongrong's mother asking me for help. She said that her daughter is in a large kindergarten class, which is not bad at ordinary times, but she loves beauty very much and pays special attention to what clothes she usually wears. She said she wouldn't go to school if she didn't look good. Once, the weather was very cold, but my daughter just wanted to wear a little skirt to school, and said that she was not afraid of the cold and was not sick. I am worried that children love beauty too much, and they only like to pursue appearance in the future, which will easily become "embroidered pillows".
Then there will be questions from parents. Children love beauty too much. Will children become vain in the future? What should parents do in the face of children who love beauty too much?
Jason, a national second-level psychological counselor, said that children love beauty, and many children aged 3-6 will do so. Although children in this period don't know what "beauty" is, they have established their self-image in the evaluation of people around them, and take the evaluation of beauty by people around them as their own evaluation criteria. In this case, the mother should try to calm down and solve the problem with a regulated attitude.
At an appropriate time, such as bedtime stories, tell children that clothes have the function of keeping warm in addition to being beautiful. What kind of clothes to choose must be related to the cold and warm weather and occasions.
In addition, don't buy too many clothes for children, lest adults worry about which clothes to wear and which not to wear. If children are too sensitive to clothes, parents should communicate with their families and kindergarten teachers to reduce praise for their appearance.
As for whether children will be vain, Jason thinks this is a distant topic. There is no necessary causal relationship between beauty and vanity. Parents can't evaluate their children from the perspective of adults, especially negative comments like "you are vain", so they must keep their mouths shut, because the self-evaluation of children in this period is based on the evaluation of others.
Regarding the problem that children love beauty too much, first of all, mothers should set an example.
When there are some deviations in children's behavior, parents will think that there is something wrong with the children themselves. However, in fact, in a similar situation, mothers need to think like this:
First of all, is mom a woman who loves beauty and dressing herself up? For a daughter, mother is a role model for her daughter's growth. If her mother is a person who likes to dress up, her words and deeds have a subtle influence on her daughter. Therefore, being a good example is more useful than how much a mother tells her daughter. If the daughter is really imitating her mother, then her mother should start by changing herself.
Secondly, see if there is a girl who often wears a skirt and paints nail polish around her daughter, and this girl often gets praise from people around her and the attention of other children. In this way, children will want to get the same attention and praise by imitating their peers. If so, mothers should properly guide their children, pay more attention to and praise them at ordinary times, and cultivate their favorite hobbies, such as singing or dancing. Let children know that everyone has their own characteristics, and we have many other choices, such as elegant manners and wide hobbies. These are good ways to attract others' attention, far better than external dressing.
In a word, Xiao Di thinks that the love of beauty is the nature of every girl and a psychological need for beauty. If children love beauty too much, parents should pay more attention and let them know that they are welcome, loved by their families, and loved by teachers and classmates. This has a great psychological adjustment effect on a big girl who likes to brag. Children with love will not rely too much on some external things to highlight their existence.