Parents and teachers should not change their children wholeheartedly, but should fulfill every child. They should look at children in an all-round way, discover their advantages and strengths with appreciation, and create conditions to carry forward their advantages, instead of clinging to their shortcomings and defects, they just want to change their children and make them what they want.
Keywords: education, realization
Text:
Tao Xingzhi once said: "Real education is an activity of mutual affinity. Only from the heart can we touch the depths of the soul. " 1
More than two thousand years ago, Confucius in China was good at educating students according to their different characteristics, so that they could give full play to their respective strengths and make up for their respective shortcomings. "Xue Ji" also wrote: "Teachers are good at saving the lost." In Song Dynasty, Zhu summarized this experience of Confucius as "teaching students in accordance with their aptitude".
Teaching students according to their aptitude is a summary of teaching experience with a long history. In modern pedagogy, it is called the principle of teaching students in accordance with their aptitude, which is formulated according to the individual difference law of students' physical and mental development. It means that teachers should proceed from the students' actual situation and individual differences, and carry out differentiated teaching in a targeted manner, so that each student can develop their strengths and avoid their weaknesses and get the best development.
On the other hand, how much has the principle of teaching students according to their aptitude been implemented in today's education? Nowadays, education is more about processing and shaping children according to the ideal children designed by parents and teachers, and turning children into what they want. To this end, I also deliberately sacrificed my rest time to study; Occupy the so-called "non-exam courses" and make up lessons for students after class ... put pressure on students actively and force them to study, but ignore their needs. However, when students fail or fail to meet the expectations of parents and teachers, parents and teachers will have a strong sense of loss. They think that their efforts are not worth it, and their children are too pitiful, which makes them even more depressed, and some even can't manage themselves and do some extreme things. For example: abuse children, corporal punishment of children, and then put themselves and children in the opposite angle, and even regard children as the object of struggle.
I was fortunate enough to participate in the online training of "Galaxy New Education". Lecturer Zhu and Teacher Zhu once shared such a story:
"Proch's Bed of Ruth"-The demon Proch Ruth Titus has an iron bed. He warmly invited people to spend the night at home, but only allowed people as long as the bed to sleep, otherwise their legs and feet would be cut off if they were longer than the bed, and those shorter than the bed would be forced to be as long as the bed. "Think the devil has gone too far? How can there be such a person! However, let's look at it this way. When each of our families and classrooms are compared with this iron bed, are they all similar? Every family wants their children to be dragons and their daughters to be phoenixes, and every classroom wants to train students with full marks. Here, children's personality can't be publicized and their potential can't be brought into play. Teacher Wei Shusheng said, "Our family and our school are such demons, but we don't know yet. We still think it should be like that. " 2
Yes, we are in it, but we don't know it. We are bent on turning our children into what we want, rather than respecting and appreciating their inherent appearance.
Professor Wang Xiaochun wrote a story about Jobs in the book Beyond Education:
"In my opinion (Wang Xiaochun), the school should be a botanical garden with all kinds of plants, including flowers, trees, weeds and even moss. The task of the school is to provide them with the best possible growth environment and let them grow into themselves. People like Jobs may be a crooked-neck tree when they are young, but they have great potential. Later, it became a towering climate. Gardeners probably never thought it would be him. It doesn't matter, at least this botanical garden once nourished him, which is good. If the gardener sets himself the task of cultivating all the plants in the garden into ornamental trees and flowers, it will be over. Trees with crooked necks like Jobs will be unlucky, either completely trimmed or cut down. " three
In fact, every child has his own characteristics. Every child grows up early and late, and the growth rate is fast and slow. Children have their own rhythm and speed, as well as their own advantages and disadvantages, just as there are no two identical leaves in the world. Even twins and triplets, there are differences between them. Every child, after learning and growing up from family and school, goes to the society and does different things after work. In the past, it was always said that "360 lines is the best", but now there are only 360 lines, and there are more than 36 million industries. So many industries have different needs for talents, and there is no requirement for children to be specific at all. But a sad thing happened. Groups of children with different personalities are forced to become the same "children" by the same requirements at home and at school.
Taking care of children in the traditional way of herding sheep is a simple and extensive way of education. Its biggest drawback is that it inhibits the healthy development of children's body and mind and the cultivation of personality, and it puts great pressure on parents and teachers to "look after" children. At the same time, it also pushes parents and teachers to a "superior" position, making them aggressive, even ignorant, and making the mistake of bullying the weak and fearing the hard. Children are always in a position of passive obedience and change, getting farther and farther away from parents and teachers. In behavior, children may temporarily nod to their parents and teachers. But many times, they are not satisfied with oral administration, and even have rebellious psychology and behavior.
If strict, it can improve children's quality and ability; If the measures are tough enough and children can have their own wishes, wouldn't every child be the best in the world? Of course, common sense tells us that this is impossible. Therefore, parents and teachers should not change their children wholeheartedly, but should help every child, look at children comprehensively, discover their advantages and strengths with appreciation, and create conditions to carry forward their advantages, instead of clinging to their shortcomings and defects, just thinking about changing their children and making them what they want.
No matter how powerful the wings are, the tiger can't fly. "Adding wings to a tiger" is just a good wish. What should teachers and parents do? In fact, it is obvious that teachers and parents should give up changing children's ideas and guide and fulfill them.
As a teacher, in fact, it has nothing to do with students, let alone have a grudge against students, and must fight with children! On the contrary, just because students come to this school and we happen to be teachers here, our children enter our class. Since then, our teachers and children have had the intersection of life.
Then, please cherish the fate of meeting, knowing each other and getting along! No matter how old children or young children our teachers are facing, we should clearly realize that teachers and students are always equal, and there is no distinction between high and low status. The starting point of our teachers' work must be to love and respect students first, and then to educate students. The important principles and methods of educating students are guidance, repeated scientific guidance and meticulous and patient help. Of course, education cannot take the initiative to force students to learn knowledge according to their own wishes. "Don't be angry, don't be angry, don't be angry". Our teachers should give students proper guidance, instructions and inspiration when they need it, instead of instilling, instilling and persuading them actively. For example, when you are thirsty, give your child a glass of water, and the child will appreciate it. However, when children are not thirsty, it is necessary to let them drink a glass of water, which will cause children's resistance to drinking water, even disgust and rejection.
And "guidance" means persuasion and education with emotion and reason, just like careful education in the spring rain. Guide students, allow them to say "no" and respect their feelings and opinions. At the same time, teachers should seize the opportunity of education and pay attention to the methods of education in order to achieve the purpose of educating students. The most important thing is to always respect students' personality, actively discover and fully cultivate students' personality, and never standardize and demand children according to your own ideas.
The era of "seeing", "managing" and "pressing" has passed, and we teachers must face the current and future education situation soberly-this is a new era of respecting, showing and shaping personality. Implementing quality education and cultivating innovative talents is an important educational policy of the country. However, quality education and the cultivation of innovative talents are inseparable from the soil that respects and guides the full development of students' personality. Therefore, every teacher should give full play to the guiding role of education in education and teaching, instead of trying every means to change children. These are not only the call for children's personality development, but also the response to national innovation education!
Therefore, our teachers should make peace with themselves, live in harmony with children, accept and tolerate students, and accept and tolerate imperfect themselves; Don't be a slave to fame and fortune, imprisoned by utilitarianism and desire; Don't sacrifice your children and yourself because of evaluation and discipline.
As parents, we should learn to accept students for what they are, instead of forcing them to obey and do what they think should be done. Don't fight with children, because there is no winner in the struggle, and the result of the struggle can only be mutual loss, which will make the children struggle to pieces, and at the same time, they will be scarred and exhausted.
Each of our parents has a good wish to "hope that their son will succeed and their daughter will succeed". To this end, we also work hard and do our best to help children grow up. But before that, it is very important to know what children think. Don't think that it is good for children to work hard and earn more money.
The future social development will be faster and faster, and many of our current ideas may be naive in the future, so when we want to give them to our children, we should pay more attention to what they need. Most importantly, don't use the success or failure of the adult world, positive or negative principles to restrain and evaluate children. On the contrary, what we have to do is to actively guide children and fulfill them. If we want our children to develop in the direction of truth, goodness and beauty, we need to be a model of truth, goodness and beauty first. If you want to have studious children, you must have studious us. In other words, if children want to learn, we should learn first. Only those of us who enjoy it can guide the children who enjoy it.
In addition, we should clearly realize that no one is perfect, and don't blame and abuse children who have made mistakes. In fact, children know that they are wrong and wronged, and timely hugs can win their hearts. Each of us grows up in the process of constantly making mistakes, and then sums up experience and finds the right direction. Then why does it have to be a child once? The growth of children needs our guidance, as well as our patience and fulfillment. Like all kinds of animals and plants in nature, children have their own way of life. They don't have to worry about children, and they don't have to worry about children. When necessary, children will show their abilities. At the same time, we should respect children more. Every child grows up early and late, and the growth rate is fast and slow. Children have their own rhythm and speed. What we have to do is to accept every child, try our best to make every child perfect and allow them to be unique.
Finally, borrow a passage from teacher Dou Guimei's book "Roses and Education" as the end-"If you regard your environment as the devil, you will live in hell; If you treat the people around you as angels, you will live in heaven. If you turn your environment into a devil, you are creating hell; If you turn people around you into angels, you are creating a paradise. " By the same token, if we are single-minded about changing children, then we are creating "our ideal children"; If we guide and fulfill our children wholeheartedly, then we are creating a unique "self".
References:
1 Tao Xingzhi Quotations
2 Zhu Online Training Speech "Galaxy New Education"
3 Wang Xiaochun's "Jump out of education to see education" East China Normal University Press? 20 14 edition
4 Dou Guimei's "Rose and Education"? East China Normal University Press? 2006 edition