Let him wash it before meals. He shook his head and said, "No, this is my concern." .
My husband told me privately that when he took his son to school recently, he asked for two bags of milk every morning, waiting for the girl at the same table at the school gate, giving her a bag, and they left hand in hand;
After school, the girl will draw love on his hand and reluctantly say goodbye.
The husband looked smug, boasting that his son was as good at picking up girls as he was.
I was in distress situation, and later told my friend this funny story, but my friend sighed:
Hey, your family is a son. There is no hurry now. My daughter is in adolescence, so anxious!
It turned out that my friend's daughter was in junior high school, and once a friend put snacks in her schoolbag and dropped a love letter.
She tried to hold back and did not open it. She didn't want to be seen by her daughter, who grabbed the love letter and angrily accused her friend of prying into her privacy.
I often listen to some parents ridicule, junior high school students puppy love is nothing, everyone in my kindergarten is in love.
Many people think that children are still young, don't understand feelings and don't pay much attention to them. Children complain when they reach puberty.
In fact, love is a wonderful experience in life. Whether it is ignorance in childhood or ambiguity in adolescence, parents need to understand and guide.
First, don't blindly avoid sex education.
Looking around, more and more young people tend to get married late or even not.
Why? What makes young people so afraid of getting married?
Mainly due to parents' attitudes and concepts, young people in China generally lack love experience and love education.
A while ago, the news that Guangxi 16-year-old girls were pregnant and gave birth at school caused a heated discussion. One netizen's comment is very eye-catching: "Does China's sex education start with pregnancy?"
The occurrence of this incident once again pushed the topic of sex education for minors to the forefront.
Dad Huang in the news said: "We are a single-parent family with few financial resources. I often go out to work and seldom see my daughter. This is also my fault as a father. "
Listening to Huang's father's words shows the lack of sex education for his daughter.
Puppy love has always been a taboo for parents in China. However, few people ask, are we really avoiding puppy love or sex?
I think we are more afraid of children crossing the restricted area than worrying about puppy love.
A foreign friend who lives in China once lamented to me how hazy and beautiful childhood love was, and how could China's parents be so taboo?
She said: "She liked a boy in high school and told her father that she would go out on a date and asked him if he could spend the night at the other person's house."
Her father told her calmly, "If you are sure that you will feel good about this day in the future, that's fine.". If you are not sure, just wait. "
Finally, she chose to observe and wait.
In fact, children are eager for love, but it does not mean that they will definitely cross the restricted area. In the face of love and sex, children also have their own doubts and concerns.
Earlier, Lin Yilun's son, Lin Zihao, became popular by participating in Hunan Satellite TV's program Metamorphosis. Many young netizens wrote "Grandpa" in Lin Yilun's Weibo.
Lin Yilun told his son that if he had any impulse, he must take safety measures.
Lin Zihao also assured his father that he had received this kind of education at school, and stressed that he would give his first day to the girl he liked when he became an adult.
It can be seen that sex education should start as soon as possible. When children truly understand "sex", they will take it more seriously from the bottom of their hearts.
So, how to conduct sex education? Here are some suggestions for providing sex education:
1, integrating sex education into daily life
China's parents talk about transsexuality when facing their young children.
When kissing and sex-related pictures appear on TV programs, parents often change channels in a hurry, and some even scold their children, which makes them more curious.
In fact, integrating sex into daily life is the best sex education.
When I was a child in the parent-child bath, I faced my child's questions about body structure, explained them frankly, answered him with the correct scientific name, and took this opportunity to tell the child the difference between men and women.
When children want to pee outside, tell them to pay attention to privacy. If it is a boy, teach him to learn to respect; If it is a girl, teach her to protect herself.
If you see the relevant plot in the TV program, don't avoid it, and explain the difference between ordinary contact, intimate contact and sex to your child.
2. Use related sex education popular science books or videos.
The Thai film Sex Education between Father and Son is a model of sex education.
Faced with the problem of "sexual behavior" of a 7-year-old boy, dad explained a series of embarrassing and headache problems such as "how the baby was born", "what is a condom" and "what is masturbation" to the child by analogy education.
Parents can reserve some suitable sex education popular science books or videos according to their children's age.
When you can't explain your child's questions, you might as well watch such books or videos with your child, which are concise and easy to understand and entertaining.
3. Integrate into the guidance of psychology and values.
Liu Yong mentioned one thing in his 15 reminder to make friends with his daughter:
No matter how passionate you are, protect yourself. Never exchange your body for uncertain love, but just liberate your body for certain love.
In sex education for children, in addition to the necessary physiological knowledge, we should also integrate the guidance of psychology and values, such as the understanding of good feelings such as love, friendship and affection.
Let children understand that the premise of sex is love, and the consequences and responsibilities of having sex.
Smart parents never talk about transsexuality, but face and communicate calmly, so that children can know the relationship between love and sex and be responsible for themselves and others.
Second, care about the child's inner world and let the child have the ability to love.
What China families lack most is the education of love. Instead of blindly opposing, it is better to tell them at an appropriate time: "Son, you can fall in love, I don't object, but you must have principles and a bottom line!"
Once children have principles and bottom lines, they will benefit for life.
In the movie "Soul-stirring", the girl Julie fell in love with the man next door, Bryce, at first sight. She expressed her love around Bryce enthusiastically, but the girl's father didn't stop Julie.
He always pays attention to Julie's growth trend and gives inspiration, encouragement and comfort in time.
When Bryce touched Julie's self-esteem and the girl was sad about it, her father borrowed a tree and told her that "the whole is greater than the sum of its parts", which made her jump out of the emotional limitations and began to examine Bryce.
In the end, Julie won love with her wisdom and self-confidence.
Someone rightly commented: "Healthy love comes from healthy family education."
I saw a story on the Internet. A girl of age 14 likes a boy. Boys are excellent and girls feel inferior.
The girl went home and confided to her mother: "I like a boy in my class, but I dare not say it." It is very painful to see other girls close to him. "
Mother told her: "every encounter in life is fleeting, and you said it, and you were rejected at most." If you don't say it, you may regret it for a lifetime. Besides, he is great, and you are not bad. Take the initiative to fight for it if you like it, and girls are no exception. "
I can't help but praise this mother.
Adolescent children have strong self-esteem and are easily frustrated, but this mother's understanding from her daughter's point of view not only gives her courage and self-confidence, but also helps her learn to face emotional setbacks.
Someone asked, what should parents do when boys confess to their daughters?
Psychologist Li Meijin said, "You should go up and tell her that my daughter is great. Being loved at such a young age shows that my daughter is lovely. " .
Smart parents will never look at this matter with confrontational eyes, but guide their children to have the ability to love themselves and others through the process of love, and establish a healthy concept of love.
Third, trust, give children space and choice.
In the movie "A Family of Six", the high school daughter has a good impression on the handsome school uniform, and the boys send her to school and send her home. The Seed of a Daughter of Love is full of cautious exultation.
Dad noticed the change in his daughter and didn't stop it. Instead, I recalled my high school days and understood my daughter's feelings.
Later, when the family was on vacation, their daughter was pursued by another local boy, and they became increasingly close to each other.
In this regard, dad is also holding a wait-and-see attitude and showing respect for his daughter's wishes.
Finally, in the process of trying and understanding, my daughter found that the handsome school grass is only superficial, while another ordinary-looking boy has many bright spots.
The father understands the excitement and beauty of adolescence from his daughter's point of view, giving her a chance to try love, and also letting her learn to understand the opposite sex in this process, and understand that kindness and propriety are two different things.
Rilke said: We need to learn the ability of love all our lives.
When I think of my friend's son, in the eyes of my friend, my son has always been calm and sensible, but suddenly he talked about a love in high school.
The class teacher invited a friend to talk to the school and explained the situation of the child.
For a time, various emotions such as surprise, embarrassment and anger were intertwined. After returning home, she yelled at the child and ordered the child to break up.
She began to send her children to school, do homework supervision at night, and accompany them to cram school all the way on weekends.
Under such high pressure, the child's grades dropped seriously and even suddenly ran away from home.
In fact, his son and that girl have known each other since junior high school. Both of them are good children who work hard and make progress. Usually, they promote each other in learning and communication, and they have a good impression on each other.
As long as there is proper guidance, this relationship can be a catalyst for the common progress of the two. As a result, under the pressure of parents, the child went to extremes.
Is this a concern for children, or are you afraid that you will lose control of your children?
Ou Ma? Pompey said, "I love you so much that you can learn to walk and taste falls, injuries and failures."
Smart parents know how to respect and trust their children, give them proper space and the right to try love, and believe that children can balance their lives and have the ability to bear the consequences.