You are not used to her. When you hit her and scold her, you have taught her to stick to making friends with others.
Three years old is the time for children to form habits.
Don't stand and scold her next time she loses her temper. Squat down, hold her hand and look into her eyes. You will definitely see injustice inside, not stubbornness.
What children sometimes want is not something, but the attention and love of their parents.
Pat her on the arm and tell her not today, but next time. I'm sure she will agree. You have a try.
As for this, how can it be linked to the reward for good performance next time?
The most important thing is that children should not cheat. If they promise, they must do it. Otherwise she won't believe you next time.