This is just a small metaphor, but in many families, parents will have such questions: I told him not to do this, why is the child still disobedient?
In fact, parents just hope that their children can understand the truth from sticks. No matter whether they beat or scold, they are unwilling to do it. Indeed, this kind of punitive education is simple and rude, which can make children do things according to their parents' wishes because of fear, but it will have many disadvantages. It will make children lose their self-confidence, hurt their sense of shame, and seriously disrupt their inner order. In the future, their personality is likely to become inferior, anxious, irritable and cowardly.
If the child is disobedient, parents can try to educate their children by changing their thinking and guiding them positively:
1, explore the advantages of children
Although many parents love their baby very much, they can't tell what advantages the baby has, but they can tell a lot of shortcomings. In fact, everyone ignores that the shortcomings you see from children are actually your own shortcomings. As your child's first teacher, parents can say that they have demonstrated their advantages and disadvantages through examples, and the baby has understood them clearly. If you find that your child doesn't like to tidy up, it is likely that one of your parents is sloppy.
Therefore, when parents find that their children have done something bad, they can actually think about what advantages this incident has shown their children, such as painting on the wall. You can find that this is the child's interest, and then guide his interest to become his specialty, and let him participate in the wall cleaning work and buy him a good picture book, so that the child will not draw on the wall next time.
2. Turn disadvantages into advantages.
After discovering and cultivating children's advantages, there will be greater achievements, but it is also very important that children's shortcomings should be transferred. Use an example to illustrate that children don't like to dress themselves up and always ask their parents to help him. It may be because the baby is not independent and likes to rely on his parents. You can try dressing with him in a competition, or parents can sing a song to encourage him when he is dressing, so that children can develop their own dressing habits and have basic life skills and independence.
3. Apply these two methods to life.
In both cases, the child didn't do something well. If the child has done nothing wrong, how can this positive guidance education method be applied to life?
Parents can try to praise in this way, which can not only cultivate children's self-confidence, but also strengthen their own advantages. For example, children's test scores have neither improved nor regressed, and they can also observe their own advantages from the questions and problem-solving ideas and put forward their own praise methods. You can also point out what you did badly, and then encourage your child to do better next time.
Whether observing children or cultivating children, what is needed most is the patience of parents. In this process, parents themselves can get a lot of growth and cultivate deeper feelings with their children.