First of all, expectations are too high. It is a common phenomenon that parents expect too much from their children. Through the analysis of the investigation on the personality development of the only child in a city, we find that the highest academic expectation of parents for their children after graduation from junior high school is only 0.9%; 6.2% graduated from high school; College graduation 9.3%; 53.9% graduated from university; Master10.3%; Doctor or postdoctoral fellow 19.3%. In other words, as many as 92.8% of parents expect their children to have college education or above. The survey results of Liaoning Provincial Education Commission's Care for the Next Generation Association and the editorial department of Family Education show that 90.83% of the parents surveyed expect their children to enter the university. In order to live up to this expectation, parents try their best to ask tutors for their children, put them in special classes, and some parents will give them extra homework. Too high expectations and too much investment on students have led to the simplification of expectations, resulting in parents' intentional or unintentional neglect of education in ideological and moral education and housework. Parents' high and single expectations will cause mental burden to students with good or poor academic performance and induce serious psychological obstacles. Makarenko, an educator in the former Soviet Union, once compared education to a good poem, but when we see the following shocking survey data, do we still think education is like a poem? -60% students think that the fun of going to school is because they have friends to play; 65,438+0,000% students have some learning disabilities such as loneliness, inferiority, anxiety, dependence and depression. Every year, students are lost for non-economic reasons.
Second, excessive indulgence. According to the relevant social survey data, 18.72% students don't take part in any housework at all, and a few students only take part in housework for less than 1 hour. Because of this, 60. 12% students can't do laundry and cook, 54.75% students need their parents to pick them up after school, and 7. 16% students often ask their parents to help them clean up. What's more, in order to make children "pay attention to hygiene", 47. 1% parents provide students with foot washing water. It is precisely because of this education that the following sad facts have been created: a Shaoxing freshman from Yunnan University dropped out of school and went home automatically because he could not adapt to the university life without his parents. Because the student is not used to the food in the school cafeteria, he lives on bread and biscuits, goes to Lacrimosa every day, and then secretly buys a train ticket to go home. A graduate of our county 1998 was admitted to a university in Northeast China. His parents went to see him off. After settling the students, the parents are ready to come back. The student was not allowed to cry, but his mother stayed with him for another week. When the mother returned by bus, the student clamored for going home again and was persuaded by the teacher and classmates at the station. There are many such examples.
Third, there is too much interference. Parents' excessive interference with their children, in addition to the above performance, is also manifested in excessive concern for students' academic performance and simple and rude educational methods. A parent cares about every exam of a student, records the results of every exam, makes a careful comparison and analysis, and will nag if he doesn't do well in any exam. After three years of unremitting efforts, the student's academic performance did not disappoint his parents. But just before the college entrance examination, she did something that surprised everyone: she played truant. Later, in her heart-to-heart conversation, she burst into tears and said something that had been hidden: because her parents' behavior made her feel that she didn't get the respect and understanding she deserved, she did such an outrageous thing.
Fourth, poor discipline. In the family education experience handed down from our country, there are some classic sayings, such as "you can't be an adult without beating and cursing, but you can be a good person by beating and cursing" and "a dutiful son is born under the stick". In family education, beating and cursing is one of the ways to make teenagers become talents, which will get better educational results. This experience has been used up to now, and some parents still think it is feasible to discipline their children's bad behavior by "beating, scolding and punishing". To this end, some parents often punch and kick under the control of this idea, regardless of the size of the problem. This way is actually very bad, which will have an impact on children's thoughts and wisdom, make children lose their psychological balance and lead to unpredictable results. Of course, necessary discipline is still necessary, otherwise some small children will develop into big problems. Discipline does not have to take the form of "beating" and "scolding". The key is to create a warm home and a good growth atmosphere for children.
Fifth, the closure is too strict. Children are the crystallization of parents' love, the angels in parents' hearts and the pillars of a happy family life in the future. Parents pour infinite love into their children. Many parents regard their children as "private property", like caged birds, fearing that once they are released, they will lose them. Parents control their children's social activities too much and too strictly, ignoring their sense of autonomy and self-reliance, which greatly limits their personal freedom, thus restricting their creative thinking and creativity.