Children are members of society, but they are the whole family. The most precious wealth that parents bring to their children is not money, but the ability to create happiness. Our hope lies in children, whose future is in our hands. Let's pay attention to family education together. 1June 10, 15: 00- 16: 00, Chen Xiangdong, CEO of New Oriental Education Technology Group, was a guest in Sina's micro-interview column "Dialogue Education Masters" and talked about "What kind of family education can benefit children for a lifetime?"
Q: Hello, Mr. Chen, if a teenager has many hobbies, should he focus on only one interest so that interest can become a specialty? It's better to know everything.
Chen Xiangdong: Children may seem to have many hobbies because of herd mentality or desire, but too many hobbies means no hobbies, so it is best to lock in no more than three hobbies. At this time, it is necessary to observe, analyze and explore children's interest motives, start with the most fundamental motives and needs, find appropriate ways to stimulate children's most important interest points, and then guide and cultivate them.
Q: Hello, Mr. Chen, you are interested in a certain field, but you don't know how to develop it. What should I do?
Chen Xiangdong: It's easy to be interested in a field, but it's not so easy to find excitement and passion in this field. To be a top expert in any field requires enthusiasm, repetition, concentration and persistence. We know that the "10,000-hour law" says that as long as you persist in doing one thing, concentrate on doing one thing, and do one thing beyond yourself, most of you can become an expert every day for 4 hours 10 years!
Q: My children always pay attention to what the teacher wears in class. Which child is short of erasers and pencils? Usually, they observe things around them for a few minutes, but they don't pay much attention to what the teacher says in class. How should such a child be guided?
Chen Xiangdong: The child's observation is good, but he doesn't pay attention to the right things at the right time. What we have to do is to consciously cultivate children's attention and ability to focus on a fixed point through games, dialogues and reading. , and insist on at least 2 1 day. Please remember: "2 1 day law": it takes at least 2 1 day to form a good habit.
Q: Teacher Chen, I like art very much, but my parents say that studying art is not good for my study. How can I convince them?
Chen Xiangdong: Art can well cultivate children's imagination and creativity, promote the development of right brain potential, and bring more pleasure and beauty to human beings. This is part of the meaning of life, so I encourage your interest in art, and you can have a good talk with your parents. There is more than one road to success. Of course, you can't give up and relax in the study of culture class, but also prove it to your parents so that they can trust you.
Q: When I was a child, the concept of family education was "cramming", which was strictly standardized. After entering the society, the concept of education was influenced by the West and changed to "Children have freedom, the right to speak and the right to choose", and education in China was criticized. Now the case of "tiger mother" educating children in the United States tells us that strict discipline, coupled with planned and required education, can make children enter school and embark on a glorious road. Teacher Chen, what kind of family education do you think is appropriate?
Chen Xiangdong: If giving children more freedom is "carrot" and strict discipline is "stick", then the healthy growth of children needs carrots and sticks, but everything should be based on love, so that children can feel love. A world in a flower and a heaven in a sand. Every child is beautiful, different and special. Be sure to adjust the proportion of "carrots" and "sticks" according to children's personality differences.
Q: Hello, Mr. Chen Xiangdong! After reading your article "Looking at Parents from a Different Angle", I admire your courage and your spirit of making progress. You mentioned in this book that "it has advantages in running in the family", but I still don't quite agree. I always feel that the concept of parents educating their children is still a bit old-fashioned and can't adapt to the development of society now. I wonder if I'm wrong.
Chen Xiangdong: If we compare a child to a seedling, then father, mother, grandfather and grandmother can be compared to a scaffold. If only dad has a support, the sapling is likely to fall down as soon as it encounters wind and rain; If mom and dad have two supports, saplings will not fall down so easily; With the support of grandpa (grandfather) and grandma (grandmother), the seedlings can grow healthily no matter what bad weather!
Q: Teacher Chen, my child is in the third grade and wants to learn Japanese, so we had an argument. What should I do?
Chen Xiangdong: There must be motives and reasons behind the decisions made by children in Grade Three. To help children make better choices, we must first analyze and interpret these motives and reasons. (m.taiks.com, a famous saying) Some parents will interfere when learning Japanese on the grounds that they have fewer employment options in the future. You know, children can learn more only if they are interested. It is strongly recommended that you consult experts or teachers with your children, discuss and analyze together, and then make a choice.
Q: It took parents nearly 10 years to really pay attention to family education. When we attach importance to children's growth, parents ignore the influence of their own growth on their children. Many post-80s who are married and have children are still children in a sense. Can you give some advice to these post-80s parents?
Chen Xiangdong: Everyone becomes a parent by accident, and everyone will become a parent for the first time. To be a good parent, there is no doubt that we need to learn, understand, observe, change and grow. The post-80s have a broader vision and more learning opportunities. The key lies in the mentality of learning and the courage to change. What we have to do is to grow up with our children, study together and make progress together!
Q: Hello, Mr. Chen, I was deeply moved and encouraged to read your own growth experience in Being a Parent from a Different Angle. Your self-reliant learning spirit is well worth learning. How do you think parents can better stimulate their children's awareness of self-reliance and self-reliance in an era of relatively rich material conditions?
Chen Xiangdong: Example is not the best criterion for being a good father and mother, but the only criterion. "Behavior is a teacher, and learning is a model for the world". In order to motivate children, the key is that parents' words and deeds should become examples and benchmarks in this regard. To demonstrate and remind children, parents are parents and he is himself. His real happiness can only come from his own growth. Parents should work with their children to pursue the best growth experience and happiness in life!
Q: My children are impatient and take care of nothing. I don't know how to guide him. Now he is still in the kindergarten class, but I heard that habits should be cultivated from an early age. Any good suggestions?
Chen Xiangdong: Impatience may mean lack of interest, it may be that children get it too easily, or it may be that family life has not been cultivated intentionally since childhood. Many children are arranged by their parents, and I don't know what the children really need. On the basis of understanding children's interests, we can help them set small goals and give positive feedback every time. Over time, you can discover your child's real interests. Remember: never give up!
Q: What do you think of being a good father under the current work pressure and life schedule?
Chen Xiangdong: The time parents spend with their children doesn't necessarily lie in more time, but it must lie in the highest quality time spent together. Everything in life is education, and the key lies in how your own example works. I am very busy myself, but I want my children to know that the greatest meaning of life is to help others more, and being busy will be valuable and meaningful. When your life has more meaning, family life and children's growth will have more meaning. (continued)
Q: What do you think of being a good father under the current work pressure and life schedule?
Chen Xiangdong: Our favorite job left us, and Isaacson followed him for two years. In the last days of Jobs, Isaacson asked Jobs: As a person who has always paid attention to personal privacy, why have you given him such full cooperation in the past two years? Jobs replied, "I hope my children can understand me. I have never been with them. I want them to know why and what I did. "