A colleague has twin babies at home. The child is three years old, and as he grows older, he gradually has his own temper. Colleagues said that when shopping, they must buy exactly the same. Different colors will make two children fight all day. When praising Dabao, if you don't pay attention to Bao Xiao's expression, then Bao Xiao will lose his temper.
He thinks that having twins sometimes makes him feel very happy, but children care too much about their parents' care at this age, which sometimes really makes him physically and mentally exhausted.
Twin babies have different personalities, so do their parents' common education methods, and their troubles account for half. Suhomlinski said: "Parents are educators like teachers, and they are the founders of intelligent human beings. Because the wisdom of children is passed down from their parents, they came to this world. "
Although twin babies are conceived by the same mother, some twins often have some differences in personality, which makes parenting very troublesome for parents. For twin sisters or brothers with different personalities, parents still need to teach students in accordance with their aptitude, give reasonable guidance or specify different parenting rules.
One: Smart twins never fight, so mom can rest assured.
I met a pair of twin babies before. Whenever mom is busy cleaning the room, they can always sit quietly in front of the TV and watch cartoons. And after the TV broadcast, they will not bother their mother, but play with their own toys. Being together often won't make them feel tired and bored. Sometimes they can even help their mother take care of the room together because they all want her encouragement.
Two: playing with twins, contradictions are constant and need guidance.
It is unrealistic for two babies of the same age not to fight. When most twin babies are together, they often fight for the same thing. In fact, it is a normal instinct for a two-year-old baby to compete for items.
Psychologists point out that at this stage, children's sense of ownership is still in the process of initial establishment. They think that these things they like should be their own, and this behavior is also true in twin families.
Although it is cute to watch my two little babies at home. But the thought of the baby lying in bed now will turn into a child running around and playing with each other in two years. Some parents will feel headache in advance. However, as long as we understand the differences between children and deal with them according to different situations, we can reduce the contradictions between children.
Three: competitive twins, look forward to attention and refuse to be eccentric.
When I went to my colleague's house to see their baby before, the baby looked particularly cute lying on the big bed. When the mother stands aside and laughs with the boss, the second child next to her will stare at her eyes with particularly innocent eyes. At this time, we found that the second child looked wronged. At this time, when his mother turned to play with the second child, the boss who was still smiling suddenly appeared with a puzzled face. It seems that they all want to attract his mother's attention.
Reasonably apply attachment theory to assist twins in emotional connection and make common progress. Here, I have to mention John Ball's attachment theory, which refers to the special emotional connection between caregivers and caregivers. At this stage, children need to feel the warmth and intimacy given by their mothers.
In view of this situation, parents need to face their two children with a fair mind as much as possible. Pay attention to their expressions and demeanor when talking to children, so that children can truly feel the love of their parents.
One: use the imitation mechanism to make the baby progress together.
Before, a rural mother took pains to send her twin brothers to Tsinghua University. The two brothers study hard through mutual encouragement and imitation.
For children, imitation is more than just learning. Sometimes children litter at home. If parents don't stop it in time, another child will soon get into this bad habit.
In view of this situation, parents need to divert their attention in time. For example, at the dinner table, Dabao accidentally fooled the rice in the bowl onto the table. In an instant, he felt very interesting and began to scoop rice paste. At this time, parents can send any food on the table to Bao Xiao. The bright colors and cute shapes of carrot sticks can quickly attract children's attention. At this time, parents can say to their children when they leave: "Look, this is Bao Xiao's wand, which can make a sound!" "At this time, it not only attracted the attention of Bao Xiao, but also attracted the attention of Dabao here. This way is more effective than forced preaching.
Two: in the face of specific surprises, try to teach students in accordance with their aptitude.
Some babies are very lively and like outdoor sports. Moreover, some babies are quiet and like to sit and draw or spell toys. We should try our best to meet the needs of different babies. In some families, in order to save time and energy, parents raise two children in the same direction. However, due to individual differences, there is always a child who will become depressed because of interest problems.
In fact, children's preferences are not good or bad. Treating two children in different ways can often help them learn to learn from each other's strengths. Sometimes parents' appreciative eyes can also make children know how to respect each other's preferences and learn to appreciate the advantages of others.
Rousseau once said: "The key to educating a child is not to teach him all kinds of knowledge, but to cultivate his interest in knowledge, and then teach him the methods of learning knowledge as his interest grows."
Therefore, educating children is not blindly instilling any knowledge, but first cultivating children's interest in knowledge. The same is true of the education of twins. Teaching students in accordance with their aptitude is very important.
Parents learn from the concept of "dolphin parenting" to serve the healthy growth of twin children. This theory, put forward by Dr Simi Kang of Harvard University, suggests that parents use incentives to help their children promote their development.
1) Establish contact with children and recognize each other's identity.
The book especially emphasizes the cultivation of parent-child relationship, so that children can truly feel the care and companionship of their parents. Parents are advised to guide their children to cooperate with others optimistically through more positive language and state. When children have negative emotions, parents need to quickly capture the signals sent by children and understand their real needs.
2) Become a child's idol and learn and grow together.
Bandura, a psychologist, believes that in the process of interacting with people, no matter whether he actively chooses or passively accepts, the types of behaviors he can learn are limited, because the behaviors of such people will be observed by learners many times. The close contact between children and their parents makes them learn a lot of behaviors from their parents imperceptibly. In addition, children are too young to form right and wrong concepts, so children often learn wrong demonstrations from their parents, and the most prominent performance is running red lights. Therefore, parents need to pay attention to their own behavior in life if they want their children to avoid the behavior of getting something for nothing.
3) Give children enough freedom and give them correct guidance at critical moments.
We suggest giving children full choices and respecting their choices, but in important matters, parents should also pay attention to their children and guide them appropriately to avoid misjudgment caused by their inexperience. At this time, parents need to master certain skills, don't let their children feel bound, and let them believe in your choice. This is the need to understand children's preferences and establish good communication with children.
When some children are angry, what they often say is extreme, and a little carelessness will make them even more angry. When seeing children do something unreasonable makes us lose our temper. Parents must control their emotions and understand their children's current situation. In the face of twins, parents need to pay more attention to their expressions and don't let their children think that we have preferences.