This is a typical "desktop removal" education. One is strict, and the other is too cute. Criticism and protection; One plays the bad COP, and the other plays the bad COP. With more and more time, children's education becomes more and more difficult, and there are more and more contradictions with the other half. Actor Zhang Ling also said in a program that her husband Chen Long often ruined his own stage. Chen Long likes to shoot in other places, and that's what he told his children when he was filming with his wife and children. "My dear, you were laborious. Isn't mom very fierce today? " Zhang Ling felt particularly helpless about it. In her opinion, this kind of education has no effect. In fact, the biggest fear of educating children is the disharmony between husband and wife, which has a very bad influence on children. Impact: children can easily become two-faced; A gentle and doting father is always in charge of his mother's father, and children naturally tend to be partial to themselves, fearing and rejecting the one who sets too many bans.
Mother became very fierce. She went to see her father. She even thinks that her mother is fierce and her father loves herself more. What's more, children learn to look at their faces, have it both ways, avoiding the harsh side and getting used to pampering themselves. There are unreasonable demands and disorderly behaviors of children in the shelter, which cover up many mistakes that really need to be corrected. Other children take advantage of this contradiction between their mother and father. If their mother doesn't agree, they can do whatever they want and play whatever they want. Just find a father. It is difficult for children who develop this habit of thinking to hear the education of adults. The most useless education is the influence of mom and dad "destroying each other"; There is a famous law in the psychology of blurring children's right and wrong, which is called the "watch law", which means that when a person has a watch, he can know what time it is. When he owns two watches at the same time, it will cause confusion and make the watchmakers lose their judgment of time. The same is true of educating children. Facing the same thing, adults tell us two diametrically opposite methods. Who should children listen to?
For children who have no ability to distinguish right from wrong, it is easy to get into chaos and even set up a wrong view of right and wrong invisibly. Just like the little girl who hit someone at the beginning of the article, if her father doesn't tell her that hitting someone is wrong, the child will mistakenly think that she is right, let alone correct her own mistakes. Parents' opinions are always inconsistent, and the fact is that the right and wrong of children are blurred. There are no rules to teach. If you make a mistake, you can correct it. Don't say what is right, this is the most terrible education. Impact: Destroy children's sense of security; Almost all children are afraid of their parents' endless quarrels. A few months ago, I saw such regrettable news. A mother came home from work and found her child's father playing with his mobile phone and her son watching TV. She immediately urged her son to do his homework. When she saw that the child had made a math problem, she couldn't help scolding him at once.
Dad didn't like it, so he got up and quarreled with his mother. They had a big fight, and finally his mother was seriously injured. In this tragedy, the people we tend to ignore are the innocent children around us. Seeing my parents punching together and my mother in the hospital, I don't know how scared he is, how scared he is, and even feel bad about himself, which makes my parents so angry. Conflicts between husband and wife due to differences of opinion will bring great panic and anxiety to children. Professor Li, Mary Chen, said: It only takes one voice to control children. Inconsistency in family education can not only play a real educational role, but also cause invisible serious injuries to children. A friend is very experienced in this field. "My wife is a full-time wife. She is the leading role in educating children at home. I hope the children can respect their mother's rules. As a father, I should respect my wife's education and take the lead in maintaining her WeChat in front of my children.
So in my family, I usually do what my mother says, and I am firmly on her side. No matter what objection I have, I will discuss it with her in private. I also said it in front of the children. "My home, your mother has the final say! This time with the support of friends, his mother's voice is the most useful in his family. " Before educating children, a united front is really important. Especially in the face of comparison, you should reach an agreement in advance. Even if you don't agree, don't argue in front of the children and communicate later. In other words, the Lord is not pushing the responsibility of education to someone, but uniting and keeping pace. Because only in this way can education produce the best results.
Teacher Tao Xingzhi said, "The master of family education in China is strong and gentle. Dad is often not too strict, and mom is often not too wide. Parents use different methods. Sometimes they complement each other, but the disadvantages are too great. If the method is too strict, it is easy to lose the child's love, and if it is too wide, it is easy to lose the child's respect. " Education, parents should maintain the same attitude in front of their children. Only with Qi Xin's concerted efforts can children get a better education.