It's just the tip of the iceberg, and things may not be as they seem. It is more conducive to education to let the children restore the facts themselves and tell the real reasons for his doing so.
What I saw is for reference only.
In life, we should respect children and walk into them as much as possible. Children's needs are changing all the time. When you understand the needs behind the child's behavior, the words you express can understand his feelings and meet his psychological needs. This child can be guided by you, and you can be his best attachment and let him share his thoughts with you.
In the process of educating children, we have a wrong cognition: children are a piece of plasticine with strong plasticity, and parents' education is to shape children to meet the needs of society.
Based on this misunderstanding, as parents, we often pay attention to input in education and always take "winning" our children as the final result. Assist in punishment, shouting or connivance.
As parents, we should first change this concept, regard mistakes as learning opportunities, and "win" our children with a kind and firm attitude, not "win". Slowly, you will find that children are willing to share with you. When we change the concept of education, we can "win" children with some tricks, so you don't need to guess what children think, and naturally you will understand what they really think.
So in view of this, as parents, we should not guess what our children think. Similarly, we will make mistakes in understanding.
Kind and firm, respect children. You will have unexpected gains.
Hello, everyone, I'm Mama Ye! I am very happy to share this problem with you here. When parents educate their children, do they know what their children are thinking? I think most children seem to agree with their parents' views and will not refute them. In fact, there is still some resistance in my heart. I suggest that you can take a walk and chat with your child after dinner, slowly guide him and pull him to the right path. Good communication can play a certain role in the transaction. My child said to me after school one day, mom, do you know? That's what your parents do. When we get 80 points, you will say that this paper is so easy that we can all get more than 90 points. However, when we get more than 90 points, you will say, you see the whole class got 100 points. Why didn't you get 100? When we have a mobile phone in our hands, you will say, why are you playing with your mobile phone again? Have you finished your homework? This is a chat between him and his classmates, which seems to resonate with them. I feel that no matter how hard they try, they can't meet their parents' requirements! I'm glad he can tell me this, and then I'll tell him that you know your parents' good intentions in saying these words, and then you'll tell him some truths about life. These are my personal answers, I hope I can help you, thank you!
Do you know what children think when we educate them? Let me tell you something.
One day, my daughter in grade one accidentally broke a glass. I was so angry that I couldn't control my emotions and scolded! Especially when I saw my daughter crouching down and reaching for the broken glass on the ground, I stopped her loudly. The daughter was so scared that she was at a loss and trembled slightly.
I didn't know my daughter was scared until I saw her reaction. I was scared when I accidentally broke the glass, and I was even more scared when I scolded loudly. I held back my anger and said in a slower tone, "Are you afraid? Mom is worried that you will cut your tender little hand by picking up broken glass. " Then he took his daughter's hand and held her in his arms to show comfort. And expressed his opinion on the loud reprimand just now.
The seven-year-old daughter calmed down and muttered, "Being a child is not good at all! At school, the teacher makes me nervous and anxious, urging me to do my homework and problems quickly; When I got home, my parents worried me again. Scold me here, not here. It is not easy to be a child! Only you adults did something wrong, and no one will scold you. "
I shuddered at the thought that such a small child would think so much. This shows that children who have just entered the first grade are no longer completely innocent inside. It's starting to get stressful. I have an idea. I immediately said, "No, we adults will be criticized and scolded when we do something wrong, but you just didn't see it."
At this time, the daughter said, "You broke a bowl one afternoon last month, but no one scolded you at that time! And dad also quickly brought a broom and dustpan to sweep away the debris on the ground! " I remember, really.
Come to think of it, our parents are the same. If the child is wrong, he will endlessly blame and force the child to admit his mistake and correct it. But once upon a time, before scolding, criticizing and educating children, calmly ask the reasons behind the reality? Once upon a time, did you let your child explain his thoughts? No, many parents will only let their children unconditionally accept a storm of reprimand, accusation, criticism and even beating. Then let the children admit their mistakes against their will and "correct" them against their will! After a long time, children grow up day by day, and their dissatisfaction with their parents grows day by day. Children's behaviors such as depression, disobedience and escapism have appeared one after another. Raise a child with psychological shadow and mental illness. Innocent, lively and carefree children have faded out of our sight since then.
Today, my seven-year-old daughter told me how she felt after being scolded, which forced me to put myself in her shoes. I hope that parents will also reflect on this short period of my life. Benefit everyone and educate children.
First, if you want to educate your children to speak their minds first, it's very simple. Communicate with them more, enter their world more, understand and tolerate from their perspective, and don't beat and scold at every turn. After a long time, children will become more and more disobedient. Every time we hit them, we will beat and scold them easily, which will easily cause the negative influence of children's shadow, so every time children do something wrong, we will not be too impulsive. We should learn patience, do more things that children can understand and accept, set an example for children, and let them see what we do, instead of responding to them only by mouth, hands and feet. I hope this suggestion can help parents. Thank you.
You said we were educating children. Do you know what children think? Do you remember the experience of being educated by adults as a child? Looking back at that time, there were always some unconvinced people. As a post-95 generation, when I was educated by the adults around me, I was thinking, I know all this and I have been exposed to it. I understand all these reasons. What happened? You don't have to tell me anymore. This is what I thought at that time. But in retrospect, I really knew all these truths at that time, but I couldn't understand them. I don't understand the meaning behind these truths, and I don't know how serious the consequences will be if I do something wrong. At that time, my immature mind was completely unexpected, so I didn't care at all But I especially like the way my parents raised me. They will tell me the whole wrong thing I did, tell me what kind of interests there are, who I hurt, and what consequences these injuries may have. In fact, when educating children, we should calmly explain the whole thing and tell all the consequences and injuries. Children actually know everything. Now is an era of information explosion, and any information is actually readily available.
Few people understand children's feelings ... most people don't care!
College entrance examination, from fixed system to optional system
Hao (20 19.9. 10)
The utilitarian and exam-oriented nature of education makes the college entrance examination a new imperial examination, so we must reflect on education.
First, is the talent general (all-round) development or excellent (superior) development?
Throughout history and society, all those who have achieved success are excellent professionals in some fields, not all-rounders in all disciplines. To be precise: 360 lines, each line is the best. Children have their own unknown interests and talents, which is the necessity of natural differentiation and social differentiation. They will choose the "advantage-centered development model", that is, focusing on one aspect to promote learning in related or similar fields, while compulsory general practice development will wear away the "central trend" of children's large amount of knowledge, and finally even their interests and talents will be buried together.
Second, is learning instilled from the outside or awakened from the inside out?
I can understand the parents' good intentions of "from the outside to the inside" in cramming education, but who can understand the children's desire of "from the inside to the outside"? The essence of learning is: three points know, seven points don't know; Three points are visible, seven points are invisible; Three points are known, and seven points are unknown; Three points are guided by education and seven points by self-awakening. The original power of learning lies in the guidance of natural and social changes, and education is only a means to help children grow up. Excessive knowledge education is "pulling out seedlings to encourage", but it will delay and stifle children's awakening from the inside out.
Third, does education teach students in accordance with their aptitude, or is it indiscriminate and inclusive?
"Teaching students in accordance with their aptitude" is just a cover for strong indoctrination. After all, we don't even know what talent we have. How can we talk about children's talents? Only with an inclusive attitude can children learn indiscriminately in the "natural world, social humanities, and undifferentiated disciplines". With an inclusive attitude, children can cultivate interests, find directions, and build heights.
Fourth, the college entrance examination is a "baton". Can it be transferred from a fixed system to an optional system?
The college entrance examination should break the fixed pattern of "Chinese, mathematics, English, politics, history, geography, science, health, sports, music and beauty" and encourage students to develop their knowledge according to their own interests. The scores of other subjects in the college entrance examination can be selected by scoring. For example, if A student chooses "Biology, Mathematics, Science and English" and B student chooses "Biology, Mathematics, English", he can apply for biology-related majors in Tsinghua at the same time and be admitted on the basis of merit. Elective system can not only maintain the fairness of college entrance examination, but also protect the autonomy, diversity and difference of children's talents.
The utilitarian and exam-oriented nature of education is eroding children's childhood and future!
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Children have received the correct education, so that they can see more and experience more.
I don't know what he thinks, but it's not too much to know what he thinks and educate him according to his ideas.