This kind of education is what we all use, and it is almost the only one we have, whether it is teachers or parents.
Bullying education, seemingly simple and effective, is actually a huge legacy.
Of course, I have to admit that this method is indeed the simplest and most effective way to improve children's academic performance.
But what I want to say is that many of us have only seen the surface.
Real example:
Is that really useful? I have always been negative. Facts speak louder than words.
Imagine that your child is criticized by the teacher because he often loses his homework. Teachers force children and parents, and parents force children. But have we ever thought about such a question? What is the quality of the compulsory work?
I have carefully analyzed the completion of students' homework, especially those who are forced to finish their math homework. Imagine again that a test paper that should have been completed in 50 minutes can be completed in 5 minutes. Can you say that you have finished your homework after finishing a test paper in five minutes?
Many people are deceived by this appearance, especially parents feel that I forced them to learn today, and they were not criticized by the teacher in the end.
But most facts are like this:
Yes, as parents, it is easy to be confused by children's "deception", and parents don't have enough time and energy to understand how homework is done.
This is evidence that facts speak louder than words. The quality of the homework that children are forced to finish is very poor, and it can even be said that it is better not to finish it.
After reading this example, are you still complacent about bullying as an educational method?
It is cruel to say that coercion is only seemingly effective, but in fact it is extremely ineffective. Of course, the corresponding inducement is also a little stronger than coercion. At least some of your students don't seem too disgusted. This is a positive way of education.
Many parents may feel this way. Staring at children every day, I feel really tired.
Yes, I understand your complaint. Everyone complains that we always feel that we should stare, and once we don't stare at our children, we won't study.
In the end, students did not form the habit of autonomous learning, but formed the habit of being stared at before learning.
The core of this harsh and bullying education is that such education will only make children hate education more and more. Maybe the harder you push, the less willing your child is to learn. Naturally, he didn't want to learn, and then he worked harder. Finally, I got caught in this maze and couldn't find the exit.
We don't like being pushed, but we will run hard because we see the beautiful scenery ahead. That's what we do, especially children.
We are all using this kind of education, which can be said to be the lowest. Children naturally cannot develop good self-study habits, and there is a practical example.
After reading above, do you still think bullying education is simple and effective?
Since I only put forward a negative attitude towards it, I must put forward a brand-new theory, otherwise it will be empty criticism and no solution, and it will not be nonsense.
Yes, because of the big adjustment this year, I took over another class. I am surprised that 5- 10 people don't hand in their homework every time. I remember that I never talked about homework before, and it was basically within five hours, so I was really anxious to see this situation at first.
But I still put up with it. I said that I can't use this bullying education method, and naturally I can't punish people who don't hand in their homework every time. In that case, it's too loud. Hit your face.
In many studies, I formed a habit that I was bullied into doing my homework from grade one to grade three. Suddenly I stopped bullying, but I still felt very strange. Many students asked me why I didn't criticize them. Yes, they are used to being bullied. Suddenly no one bullied them, and they released their playful nature. This is not a good thing, which leads to repeated bans on homework.
Bullying education is like eating opium, because we all depend on it, even children. It's embarrassing to go now. I know opium can't be eaten, but it's hard not to eat it. I don't agree with bullying education, but I think it seems really difficult not to bully.
Many parents have also found it, but there seems to be no better way.
Everyone can understand that it is not strict and it is ours. Don't just think about bullying children. Positive education is to do something and guide children positively, but I want to emphasize that this guidance should be as low-key as possible.
What is the core of active low-key education? Positive education does not mean that we have to convince our children. I make two points:
Special instructions:
In fact, the child is far more sensitive than you think, and he can feel your likes and dislikes from the nuances. We must not think that the child is still young and he can't feel it. In fact, he feels more sensitive than you think 1000 times. He can feel your distrust of him through your criticism and your love for him through your loving behavior.
It can even be said that children are far more sensitive than you think and more thoughtful than us adults.
But many times we only care about ourselves and ignore the real feelings of our children. A child sometimes longs to be managed, but he just doesn't like being forced to manage. Why should it be managed? Because he thinks caring about him is a way to love him. However, our compulsive management is counterproductive, which often leaves a psychological shadow in the child's heart, turning him into a tool that he thinks you don't love him and only regards him as a tool for learning and comparing.
The child doesn't do his homework. Do you really understand why he doesn't do his homework? It is estimated that few parents have seriously thought about this issue.
When you don't think carefully about the root of this problem, you will find that all your actions are heartfelt disapproval of you. What you have done will only make you feel uncomfortable. How can your son and daughter be so disobedient? In the child's mind, the child will miss me. Why do my parents not understand me so much?
Moistening and silent education is in the spring breeze, which means respecting and loving children in your heart. Love from the heart, not the surface. Just like the spring breeze, it looks like a gust of wind, but it warms for a long time in winter. The child is sensitive enough to feel the inconspicuous warmth in this gust of wind and blossom and sprout. Accordingly, the autumn wind seems to love big and strong, but in fact it is the sorrow like the autumn wind sweeping away leaves. Others see that the autumn wind is ineffective and simply blow the winter wind. Of course, some people blow Xia Feng to their children, which seems warm, but actually burns people!
What brings you to see the children?
As parents, we have to stand in front of our children and lead them. This will happen naturally. We let the children go east, but the children want to go west. Then parents pull their children to the east, and the children should resist going west. When children obey us, they think they are obedient, and vice versa.
When parents complain that their children are disobedient, the children lose their temper and complain in their hearts. Parents, you don't respect my idea.
For example, in education, for example, when I do my homework, your parents stare at me. Originally, I wanted to write, but when you stare at me, I feel very unhappy being watched.
In fact, many of our parents are like this. Both parents with good grades and parents with poor grades are used to standing in front to guide their children. You should do this and that. But in the child's mind, he feels that this road is not my own choice, and I will resist. Often at this time, as a parent, you will feel puzzled. The road I pointed out to you is a bright one. This is for your own good. Why didn't you listen, or even deliberately oppose me?
Therefore, we must learn to stand behind the children before leading.
When we really try such a child behind us, you will find that the child will choose a path you want for him. Because everyone wants to study hard, get good grades, be respected and be concerned, which is inherent in everyone.
But it happened that at this time, we all stood in front of the children and led them to this road.
But there is a big difference between choosing this road by yourself and being led by others.
As long as we stand behind and lead, in fact, sometimes children may go astray, so we will catch up quickly and give him appropriate guidance. When he wants to take the right path, in fact, he is also eager for your help, and then we will protect him next moment.
Note that if you guide him behind his back, the child will feel that this is your help to him, and vice versa. If you change from the front to the back, the child's mind will also turn 180 degrees. Of course, most parents go together, and such children often make a 90-degree turn. But I prefer to lead behind, not with other leaders in the same line.
Although it seems that we just stood behind us and didn't lead him, in fact we retired for the sake of progress, and we still led him with a positive and occasional guidance.
When you find that your child is disgusted with the leadership guidance in front of you, then you should find a way to "retreat for progress".
Conclusion:
We need to deeply reflect on ourselves. What we call education is self-righteousness. We can try to feel the silent love education as seriously as the spring breeze, and stand behind the children to lead.