Now children are surrounded by several adults as soon as they are born. He is afraid that he will be hungry, frozen, hot and bumpy. The children will behave well, and the family will take turns praising the children. Either the family will bombard the children one by one, like thieves; Either a good policeman or a bad policeman; Either in front of the children, grandparents say that mom and dad are wrong, protect the children and cultivate mom and dad. What's more, as soon as things are over, grandparents will speak ill of their children, such as parents who are mean and don't listen to their parents. There are also many people chatting at home, such as the noise of playing mahjong, which affects children's homework.
Being a mom and dad is hard. The child was born to me, and every time I take care of the child, my grandparents participate. Going out to work and taking care of children can't be perfect; Grandparents even think that taking care of children, paying for their efforts, not falling well, will be rejected all day.
Children have been in this family environment for a long time. If they can learn well, I can only say that your children are wizards.
Just because your child doesn't study well doesn't mean his IQ is low. Nowadays, children are very smart and will act according to adults' faces. If you really divorce because of your child, you really hurt the child, and the child thinks you are redundant. I suggest that several adults in your family sit down and have a good communication and put themselves in others' shoes. As grandparents, how far can you see your grandson go? Therefore, parents should give priority to the control of their children, and do not compete for the control of their children. Don't blame each other in front of the children.
If grandparents insist on separation, it may not be bad. In this way, children have fewer backers, and it is easier for parents to coordinate and manage their children. We often say that distance produces beauty, and living apart from the elderly does not mean unfilial.
Because you have the same goal, everything is to give children a good learning environment. Children are the hope of a family, the flowers of the motherland and the future successors of the motherland.
Seeing your problem, you must be very anxious now.
But it is because of children's study that they quarrel and divorce. I think children may feel a lot of pressure because of this.
First, both parties will divorce and be responsible. It is impossible to say that it is only because of children's learning.
Second, the separation of the elderly may also be for your good communication. It's not good for you to help you or him or ignore them when you quarrel. Whether this is said or not will become wrong, so the old people simply live separately. Let you and your wife live a better life.
Third, you said that the elderly should be separated, perhaps because you were afraid of disturbing children's study. After all, it will inevitably be noisy after having more family members, which will affect your study. To this end, the elderly may choose to move out.
Fourth, maybe the old people are separated to lighten your burden. After all, you may not have to bear so much financially.
If your starting point is for the good of your children, you should sit down and talk openly. After all, we are a family, so please understand and tolerate each other. In this way, the family will be harmonious.
Because children study, quarrel and divorce, old people have to be separated. This question is because of the children's learning environment, learning style, or the children's average academic performance, which leads to discord between your husband and wife, quarreling every day, and the old man can't stand it, so you propose separation? If so, first of all, you and your wife should sit down and talk it over. If it is a problem of children's learning environment, you should give them a separate learning place without interference, so that they can calm down and concentrate on their studies. If it is a question of learning methods, you husband and wife should work out a set of methods to increase children's interest in learning and improve the quality of learning, and then ask their opinions until a learning method acceptable to both husband and wife and children is reached. If the child's academic performance is average, you husband and wife should calm down and explore other hobbies of the child. For example, children's academic performance is average, but children are willing to play ball. Then, on the one hand, you husband and wife should continue to urge your children to study, on the other hand, in their spare time, they should go to various stadiums to play with their children, which not only exercises their physical and mental health, but also improves their academic performance. In this way, your family will reduce quarrels, and the old people will settle down with peace of mind.
Parents had better take their children. No matter how difficult it is, we must stick to it. Children are everything, and old people should enjoy themselves!
Explain that there is a crisis in the economy. Lead to divorce. Reasons for the separation of old people. Both economic. And physically. There is a problem. Lead to divorce and separation. In a word, it is economic health. As long as everything is fine, there will be no such problem.
I understand your anxiety, but I think you should reflect on yourself, your attitude towards children, your attitude towards family, and your attitude towards yourself. Because it is easy for a person to forgive himself, but it is not easy to forgive others. Studying hard is good for children. There is no need to worry about their study. It's no use worrying about children's willingness to learn. Really. I think it's my idea for the elderly to let nature take its course. This kind of thing can't have a good effect by parents' efforts. Children's affairs need to be gradual, and they need to talk to children more. Nowadays, children are very tired and under great pressure, especially this year's epidemic. It is normal for children to be tired after studying at home for so long. Put yourself in another's shoes! Adults will be lazy if they stay for a long time. Understand the child's hard work, and the child will tell you. Knowing what a child is thinking can help him know himself and win every battle.
A while ago, my child was a freshman. He is tired of school and seriously refuses to go to school. He can't take him to see a psychiatrist. As a result, he was depressed and anxious. Now I have dropped out of school for a year and traveled around. First, he should teach children the way to survive, the truth of life, the importance of self-reliance and the importance of self-discipline. Even if he doesn't go to school in the future, he can at least be a person who knows right from wrong.
The education and cultivation of children is an eternal topic in the family. Because of the different educational concepts, there are countless family conflicts. But in fact, the original intention is the same, all because of love, but everyone expresses love in different ways, and the results are different.
First of all, mom and dad. No matter how different the father and mother express their love, the purpose is to cultivate their children. Differences in educational concepts and communication and understanding of educational forms imply that couples are carrying their children behind their backs. Quarrel in front of children will not only make children at a loss, but also leave a huge shadow on them. The fear and insecurity brought by the family will accompany the child for life. Only a warm and loving family environment will contribute to the healthy growth of children. As for divorce, it is even more unnecessary. As we all know, the psychological trauma caused by an incomplete family is far from the original intention of educating and cultivating children.
As for the separation of the elderly, we can consider it. Under the condition that the relationship between husband and wife is consistent with the concept of loving beauty and educating children, the elderly should learn to coordinate and cooperate, instead of intervening according to their own ideas and experiences. After all, the living environment and growth process of the two generations are different, and there is inevitably a generation gap in experience and cognition. If the elderly can't bear it, they not only don't know how to coordinate and cooperate, but also spoil it blindly, which will not only help the children, but also harm them. In this case, we should live separately and overcome difficulties.
Not everyone is born an expert in educating children. It is the responsibility and mission of every parent to accompany their children, learn from each other and grow together. May our children learn progress and grow up happily!
First of all, the quarrel and divorce is definitely not because of the problem of "children learning". Maybe this is part of it, but it is by no means the majority.
From the child's point of view:
As children, there is no need to be responsible for their relationship.
What you need to pay attention to and deal with are: ① your study problems; ② Your previous parent-child relationship with your parents.
You need to tell your parents that you want to grow up in a harmonious family atmosphere, and family harmony is the greatest help for your study.
From the perspective of parents:
The child is still young, so don't blame all the problems on the child. It will be too heavy for children, they will feel helpless and introverted, and there will be a little lack of psychology and character. And don't treat children as ignorant, in fact, they are very clear, so if you really want to divorce, tell them directly, and don't attribute the crime to "because the children's grades are not good."
From the perspective of the elderly:
Old people generally have conflicts with their husbands and wives, and there is no way to adjust them. Therefore, it may be a good thing for the whole family for the old man to move out of the place where he lives with his son. At the same time, we should also communicate well with our children and agree on a time to meet each other every week.
The starting point is for the good of children, telling the elderly that if separation is not good for children's growth, they should pay attention to methods, tone and expression when educating children.