At the beginning of a child's life, between the ages of 65,438 and 0-3, parents are indifferent to the child, and the description of the child is not listened to by parents. At this time, it will hurt the child's self-esteem first, and then it will hurt self-confidence. I feel that I am not good enough, and my parents don't feel that I am meaningful. Ignoring a child's appearance is a worse bad habit than scolding him.
The idea in everyone's mind is: the child is still young and disobedient! For us, when a child is obedient, we should listen to him.
There is a 5-year-old boy whose mother is wearing a suspender vest and shorts. When he got up in the morning, he saw his mother and said to her, "Mom, I want to talk to you ..." His mother said anxiously, "Wait a minute, wait a minute!" Then, take the children to the supermarket. In the supermarket, the child said, "Mom, I want to talk to you …" His mother said, "Wait a minute, wait a minute!" " Then I bought milk and toast and ran back to say hello to my relatives and friends. On the way home, the child said, "Mom, I want to talk to you …" Mom said, "Wait a minute, wait a minute!" When I finally got home, my mother said, "Well, you can talk this time!" " "The child said," Mom, the zipper on the front of your shorts is not zipped! " "
Many parents can't calm down and listen to their children! What do children want to buy, do and explain? For us, children don't need to pay attention to their disobedience or listen to their reasons at all! I repeat: all personal actions of any child are effective to him! You need to know the reason for it, and then tell him which one to build and which not to build. Help children solve difficulties, otherwise, it will hurt their self-esteem.
The second high-voltage line: destructive criticism
Destructive criticism is the main killer of children's self-esteem and self-confidence.
Many parents, criticism has become a chronic disease. Criticize children unless they are silent. We think that criticism is for the good of children, that is, to correct their defects. In fact, the result of destructive criticism is contrary to what we hope to achieve. People had expected to correct children's defects, but they repaired them. Hope to stimulate the motivation of children's growth actually kills the motivation of children's growth. I want my child to be the ultimate, but I let my child lose face, skin and self-esteem.
The third high-voltage line: mandatory
Parents forcing their children to do things will stifle their positive pioneering spirit and enthusiasm for learning, resulting in the habit of passive acceptance.
As we all know, thinking uses the brain, which requires students to be in a positive situation. Only when they study actively can they learn well and not feel tired. If children don't want to learn and are tired of learning and training, then learning and training is a kind of destruction and a painful thing for children. It is also difficult for him to achieve excellent results. This kind of child will become a passive person when he grows up, which is the root cause of his bad luck in his life.