First, we should understand that we can't be full-time parents because we have to live. In fact, even if we become full-time parents, we may not be able to solve the problem. We must meet the needs of children's life, so we must have a proper income, and children will spend more and more in the process of growing up. Why can parents have several children before, but now they can only have one or two? This is because every child now spends more than before. In the past, a child could grow up smoothly without spending a lot of money, but now his parents have to prepare a lot of money for him since he was born.
At every stage of a child's growth, parents have to spend a lot. So now I can't afford it, I can't afford it. But for the sake of the children, we still suggest that during the period when the children are three or four years old, it is best for mothers not to go out to work and concentrate on taking care of the children at home. We call her a stay-at-home mom. This is very difficult, but I want you to understand that most mothers of families above the middle class in the United States are full-time, otherwise, they are too busy. A child has too many things to do, and they have no care of the older generation. They have to rely on themselves, so they have to quit their jobs temporarily. After two or three years, when the children are almost the same, the mother will go back to work. We don't ask you to do this, just provide a better method for your reference. But we are different, because most elders will live near or with us, and it is actually a great blessing for us that he takes care of us.
But we also find that what people want now is to get rid of the care of their parents. When many men and women talk about where to live after marriage, especially female compatriots, they never live with each other's parents. This is the fault of the times, and then the son is very embarrassed, as if he had a daughter-in-law and would not want his parents. These are some problems that every family will encounter. Faced with these problems, we haven't said how to unify the requirements. We just advise you that you can live in a small family, or you don't have to go to work, you should take up the burden and take good care of your children. Either you live with your parents every day, but you can't look down on your parents every day. You should run in with him more, communicate with him more, and bring up the children together. That's right. I always say that China people can solve all the complicated things and difficult family education in six words. Which six words? Quite simply, the first two words are called dilemmas. Everything in China is a dilemma. It's wrong to live with your in-laws and not live together. It is wrong for children not to scold, and it is also wrong to scold. Nothing is right. Because we are not foreigners, it's not that simple. Only foreigners say no means no, and China people say no, and you will wonder why not. Obviously you can.
Because our social environment is not as simple as the West, why do many people like the West? Especially after arriving in the United States, I want to go back to the United States even in my dreams, because my mind is simple and I am afraid of boredom. People who are afraid of boredom are people who are not motivated. We should be lucky. We were born in China, and we will have a lot of trouble. Only when it exercises us can we grow. This is our greatest blessing in China. Don't forget that the dilemma was designed by us on purpose. If you say that you are wrong in this way and that way, you will use your brain and your brain will be developed.
The second is to give consideration to both, that is, don't gamble on this treasure and that treasure like gambling. What if the bet is wrong? Lose everything. Taking care of both sides means taking care of everything, and it is difficult to take care of everything.
The third is rationality, which should take into account the reasonable bottom. Dilemma, consideration, rationality, everything is solved. So you slowly think that the problems your children encounter are actually difficulties. For example, when my father asked the children to sweep the floor, he immediately felt that I had a lot of homework to do, and I would be unhappy if I didn't listen to my father. Besides, I am a member of the family. I just want to sweep the floor, so I don't want to do it. This is not right. But if I listen to sweep the floor and spend a lot of time cleaning, I can't finish my homework, and the teacher scolds me at school the next day. What should I do? So he cried, crying is a dilemma. So again, children are born to cry, which is a means of their survival. Why don't adults cry? Because an adult is mature, he can think, and people who can think don't cry.
If you don't have a bright brain, you cry if you can't figure it out. For example, if his parents asked him to do something, he felt that it was wrong to listen or not to listen, because he really wanted to go out to play, but he really wanted to be with his parents, so he wanted to pull them out. But parents don't want to, and the more children look at him outside, the more moved they are, so they are in a dilemma. Similarly, he wants to buy toys when he sees them, but he is afraid of being scolded, which is also a dilemma. what should he do ？ Most people are separated. We have made it clear today that everything handled separately is the idea of westerners.
Do you want to buy it? This is a problem for westerners. Why buy it? Why not buy it? So what if I buy it? What if you don't buy it? People in China have the same brain. So some people can't understand what China people say, especially modern people. Let me tell you a very emotional thing, that is, people with better modern knowledge can't understand what China people say. Because he is crazy, he must say yes or no. What do you mean by yes? What do you mean you can't? What's the matter with you? Why? What the hell? You are a foreigner.
China people are United. If we say yes, we can turn it into no, if we say no, we can have it at any time. Many people are tired, and they are tired of hearing about China people. Then you should be a foreigner. We combine the can and the can, and then find a reasonable point from it. We call this reasonable point the golden mean. But when it comes to the doctrine of the mean, many people are confused. What is the golden mean? The meaning is reasonable. We teach our children to be reasonable, because being a man and doing things is nothing more than being reasonable.
In China society, as long as you get a reasonable solution, everyone will be satisfied. The effect of education is also reasonable. Do you want to listen to the teacher? If parents scold the teacher from the child's position at the beginning, it will form that the child will not cooperate with the teacher in the future, and finally the child will definitely suffer. How can he pass the teacher? However, from the beginning, parents stood in the position of teachers, and children felt very strange. Didn't you give birth to me? Let the teacher do this to me. You are on the teacher's side. Do you see the dilemma? Therefore, the best way for China people is not to talk, but to listen first. The child is very angry at first, and gradually in the end, he will feel that the teacher is nothing. Look, he'll figure it out himself. What's your hurry? Some people just want to solve things quickly, and finally things get worse. In fact, China people tell us that time can solve many problems. Many people think this sentence is an escape, so what's wrong with escaping? Wouldn't it be more pleasant if we could finally solve the problem? This shows that we are biased and biased in many concepts. This is a personal problem, not a problem of China people. As long as you take the predicament as the starting point, you will care, and you will think that this teacher probably won't specifically find fault with children. Similarly, you will think that children can talk about teachers, and they must have their reasons. So you won't choose one side, and you won't arbitrarily say that the teacher is wrong or the child is wrong, which is more balanced.