0 1

A colleague's eighth-grade son came to the office and saw his mother absent. He looked around. When I was a child, a colleague teased him for a while, and he didn't return to the classroom until the bell rang.

Out of my responsibility for my children and my colleagues' entrustment, I have repeatedly reflected these problems to my colleagues, including sometimes in the office. But I don't know if he didn't pay attention or why, and the child's performance hasn't changed much.

When I mentioned him again today, another elderly colleague told me not to say anything about her children's fault in the future. Nobody likes to hear about it. This is a matter of face.

I recalled my performance every time I reported my child's problems to her before, and my heart thumped and I had to admit that it was true. My original intention is to hope that she can find the problems existing in the child in time and correct them in time, but she never thought that doing so would hurt her face and make her unhappy.

Just want to hear the good, don't want to hear the bad, this is probably a common fault of many people.

02

A few days ago, a group of friends had dinner. Speaking of children's education, friend A complained that the teacher was in the class last night. Aite said that his son, who was in the ninth grade, was publicly criticized by the teacher on duty in the class group because he was late for self-study last night. He said that he knew the teacher meant well, but it was a bit embarrassing for parents to publicly name and criticize in class.

I said that it is normal for teachers to criticize children for being late in class. If the child is late, the teacher doesn't tell the parents, which is not good, but the problem is big. A said, I didn't say that. Criticism is ok, but he can do better. He can send private letters to his parents privately, and there is no need to make them known in the group.

Hearing him say this, I have nothing to say. It's just that I said to him in my heart: If you as a parent can't stand such criticism, don't blame your child blx. Losing face is a trivial matter, and delaying children's study and education is a major event.

I read this passage on the Internet: Some people resist criticism, either because they think they are doing the right thing or because they are afraid of losing face. In fact, in the face of criticism, you can do two things: first, try your best to do what you should do; Second, talk to your critics and listen to their opinions. Maybe you will know where you are wrong, and the person who criticizes you is a noble person in your life.

03

As a parent of an "imperfect child", sometimes I have received complaints from teachers because the child's performance in school is not very good or his grades have deteriorated, but I especially agree with the above statement that "the person who criticizes you is a noble person in your life". Every time I receive complaints or criticisms from teachers, I will listen to their opinions with an open mind and educate my children in time. For example, once the teacher publicly named several students in the group, including my son's list, saying that he was late for class and still spoke in class. After I received the news in the group, I sincerely thanked the teacher for criticizing and educating the child, expressed my understanding and support for the teacher's work, and said that after the child returned home, I would give him ideological education in time to make him correct.

Later, the teacher told me privately that if everyone supports and cooperates with the teacher's work like me, the children will have no worries if they don't teach well. Unfortunately, many parents think that educating children is a teacher's business. The teacher reported the situation to the parents, but the parents still felt that the teacher was very annoyed, and then accused the teacher of teaching badly.

Faced with such parents, teachers want to correct their children's mistakes and teach them well.

04

As parents, how should we treat teachers who openly criticize in groups?

(1) Accept it.

Shakespeare said: the best good people are those who have experienced mistakes; A person will become better in the future because of a little shortcoming.

There is a European proverb that it may be a mistake for a person not to make some mistakes in his life.

No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, especially for children. Therefore, in the face of teachers' public criticism in the group, parents should accept it calmly. Don't feel embarrassed, and don't take it out on children or teachers. Knowing what mistakes children have made and what they have done badly can correct them and do better.

I said in an article before: it is difficult to change a person, but it is easy to give up a person. In the face of persistent children, teachers do not abandon them, but try their best to educate them with their parents, which is worthy of respect in itself.

As long as you understand that the teacher's starting point is to educate children well, don't care whether to criticize publicly in the group. If children want to be brave, strong and unyielding, parents must first learn to be brave and strong. Face is not given by others, but by yourself. You are excellent, your children are excellent, and others can't find a reason to criticize you.

(3) Euphemism

The purpose of teachers and parents is to educate children well. As a parent, after receiving a teacher's complaint or feedback, it is not necessary to reflect it truthfully, but to learn to handle it skillfully, so as to stimulate children's confidence and motivation.

For example, teachers criticize children for their inattention in class, sloppy homework and being at the bottom of the class. Parents can tell their children that the teacher says you are a smart child. If you can concentrate on your homework in class, there will be a lot of room for improvement.

Teacher Yin Jianli said in A Good Mother Is Better than a Good Teacher: Children will not have problems out of thin air. If there is a problem, it must be that some long-standing problems have not been solved, or some external factors have worsened some minor problems.

Therefore, when teachers report problems to parents, parents should consider how to solve problems in time and nip them in the bud, not whether the teacher's way is harmful to their face.

After all, it is the most shameful thing to insist on mistakes in order to save face.