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In Ba Jin's masterpiece Family Spring and Autumn, there is a typical example of dissatisfaction with his wife's education.
The wife of Gao, the five lords of the feudal family, is a tragic figure. Because I only gave birth to a daughter, I was rejected by my husband, and I was still free and unfettered on this grounds. Shen Yuxiang vented all her resentment on her innocent daughter Gao Shuzhen.
She always scolds her daughter: You are not a son! Never give her daughter a good look. In her opinion, her husband turned a blind eye to her because she gave birth to a daughter! The poor daughter has never had a happy day, and she is abused in front of her every day.
Shen Yuxiang is very poor. She is a sad portrayal of most women in the old society. But she is hateful, because she has doubled her misfortune to her daughter.
Gao Shuzhen was so desperate that even her parents turned her down. She doesn't know what hope there is in her life. 1 1 year-old girl chose to throw herself into the well! Protest to parents in this decisive way and bid farewell to the world!
Shen Yuxiang cried earth-shattering, and then she realized that her daughter was her only hope, but it was too late. Accompany her, only endless loneliness and loneliness.
02
There is a saying that the best love for children is that dad loves mom.
However, no one can guarantee that every father can love his mother. Therefore, unhappy and unharmonious families are most likely to have dissatisfied wives.
Once a woman becomes a dissatisfied wife, she is most likely to vent her grievances on her children, but to different degrees and in different ways. Of course, children are hurt differently.
A real tragedy happened around me. Because the father of the child has been working outside for a long time, he has neglected the care and consideration for his wife, which makes her resentful, often sulking with her husband and impatient with the child.
One day, because her 9-year-old son was making noise again, she was very upset. After roughing up his son, he gave him five dollars and told him to find his father himself. The beaten son went out sobbing, and happened to meet some classmates, who invited him to take a bath in the stream.
My son is in a bad mood. Suddenly these classmates invited him to play, and he went willingly, but he couldn't swim at all. I thought the water in that stream was shallow, but I didn't expect it to be deep. As a result, my lovely son never came back
My mother regretted it afterwards, and her husband divorced her, so the family broke up.
How could such a tragedy happen if you were more patient with your son and less impetuous?
03
My friend Xiao Li often tells me that her childhood was a nightmare. She was glad that she finally grew up and ran away from that terrible home.
When she was a child, her father had a bad temper and often drank too much. The atmosphere at home is very tense. Her mother submit to humiliation in front of her husband, like a Xianglinsao in front of her, always telling her grievances and hardships, and finally always adding, if it weren't for you, I would have divorced.
At a young age, she felt a heavy burden. It seems that this family has become so terrible because of her birth. Without her, her mother wouldn't have to be so forbearing. When she grew up, facing her mother's tears, she felt more guilty, and her mother suffered so much because of her.
In high school, she even begged her mother for a divorce. Because for so many years, she was just a mother's emotional trash can. She was angry and committed a crime, and all this was instilled in her mind, and she was about to collapse.
Of course, my mother never thought about divorce. She was surprised at Xiao Li's outrageous behavior. She only heard that children want their parents to make up, but never heard that children want their parents to divorce. She is used to this marriage mode, and complaining in front of her daughter is just a way for her to vent.
Xiao Li said that she was really afraid of getting married since she was a child, so she is 30 years old and she is a staunch unmarried person.
Everyone can't force others to love you, even your husband. But no one can use this as an excuse to hurt their children.
I often hear such news that anonymous committed suicide with her children because she was at odds with her husband. They may think that suicide doesn't kill them, but suicide with children is the most important thing to kill them, because this is your child!
However, they forgot that this child is also her own flesh and blood born in October. She took revenge on that man and committed suicide!
Although, women will become dissatisfied women, men have an unshirkable responsibility. But as a woman, we should broaden our horizons, take a long-term view and abandon the plot of complaining about women, which is good for ourselves and our children.
Children are the hope of our life, and we can't ruin our children's life because of temporary anger.