In the face of children's crying, splashing water, procrastination and pranks, parents are helpless. Many parents take parenting books as a panacea, hoping to find the answer. The book says: You have to wait for the flowers to bloom, so you should leave the children alone, don't give them pressure, let them grow up freely, and then give up the plan to enroll their children in interest classes and concentrate on making them grow up happily. And the result? Children from other families can read and write before primary school. Not only that, they also have hobbies such as painting and dancing. And his own children have never let him go to an interest class, and he has never been exposed to writing, which he will not. After school, children are faced with the pressure of study and feel restless. The teacher compared him with other students, so when he criticized the child, the child was wronged and cried. So today, let's see how much we know about family education, but we still can't teach our children well. Why?

1. You know art, but you don't know Tao.

You know how to urge children to sleep quickly; When you know that the child is crying, pick it up quickly; You know that children want to eat snacks, and when you don't want to give them, you can make an agreement with your children to eat them next time ... You know all this, and you also read it in parenting articles. Write it down and use it when this happens. What you don't know is love and respect for children. In fact, you also know that you should love and respect your children. You have read all those articles, but when you are anxious and feel that you have not done well, you can't do it. You broke out, showing your inner fragility to your children with tantrums, threats, hysteria and various tricks, and showing 360 degrees that you are tired of coping with the world. No matter how much you know, you can't hide the fact that you don't know the truth. When children face such capricious and unpredictable parents, their hearts are bound to be stormy, and their emotions are also uneasy and fearful. An uneasy and insecure child, how can he satisfy you everywhere as you wish? In this way, it is normal to understand the "truth" but still fail to bring up the children.

The best way to educate children is empathy, not reason.

We often say "convince people with reason", and we should pay attention to the word "reason" no matter what we do. Being a man and doing things is like this. Is it the same with educating children? Rousseau mentioned many times in Emile that reasoning with children is the most ineffective education. He pointed out that the three most useless educational methods in the world are: reasoning, losing your temper and deliberately moving. However, it is a pity that these three educational methods are exactly the most enthusiastic parenting methods for many parents and teachers at present. The truth blurted out by adults seems impeccable. Why can't the expected effect be achieved in children? Every parenting class is the same, but the children are different. Every child has his own unique personality and characteristics, so educational methods cannot be copied from books. Good parents are unreasonable, but when educating their children, they should set an example by themselves directly. Language education is better than personal practice. Real family education is not face to face, shouting "Why don't you study hard", but a process of spring breeze and rain.

3. Beware of wrong parenting knowledge

Have you found that some rural old ladies have not attended school for a few days, raised children all their lives, and have to work in the fields, as long as they can ensure that their children will not starve to death, how can they have time to pay attention to their mental health? As a result, other children are excellent, hardworking, positive and sunny, filial to their parents, responsible and responsible, and no one is clamoring for lack of love. Nowadays, many children are surrounded by six adults when they are born, and they respect and appreciate everything from prenatal education to early education. As a result, the child was still ill. After receiving psychological counseling, the diagnosis is because of lack of love! Parents can't cry, how can we love them?