Hard work may not bring back children's gratitude, but improper educational methods may make children? Treat your mother like an enemy? .
The mother took back the child's mobile phone, and the child's reaction was surprising.
I have seen such a video on the internet before: the child was absorbed in playing with his mobile phone, and his mother saw that he had been playing for too long and took it back.
Next, the child's movements were dumbfounded, and the child kicked his mother desperately. Even if the grandmother stopped at the side, she did not stop the child, but the mother did not show any resistance. On the contrary, she has been running away. I can see that both parents are used to it.
This video has caused a heated discussion among netizens:
At first glance, it is usually spoiled. If my child must let him know what majesty is! ?
Being able to do this to your mother is unfilial when you grow up. ?
Children who have no rules will be a scourge in the future. They should be taught a lesson. ?
Everyone is very angry with their children's behavior and doesn't like this disrespect for their elders.
As the saying goes? Three years old, seven years old? The children in the video are almost in junior high school, which makes people very dissatisfied. What is revealed here is the daily education of parents.
Why are some children? Treat your mother like an enemy? ? Three Chinese parenting styles ruined the parent-child relationship.
The children in the video are obviously dissatisfied with their mother's practice, but they can communicate with their mother if they are not satisfied. It is irrational to start work, and the mother's reaction is unexpected. Seems to be influenced by his son at ordinary times? Bullying? .
Is it silly to leave harshness and violence to your relatives, especially those who have given birth to children? Mom? Of course, this is also related to the mother's daily education, which makes the children farther and farther away from themselves and even hates the mother's discipline.
1: Wrong education of beating and cursing
Now we are in an Internet age, and mothers are easily exposed to new educational knowledge and ideas. Beating and scolding education has never been advocated, but every educational method has its advantages and disadvantages, which many parents misunderstand? Beat and scold education? .
Comenius once said: People who make mistakes should be punished, but they are punished not because they made mistakes, but because they will not make mistakes in the future. ?
It's not useless to hit the child, but mother should use the right method before hitting.
Professor Li Meijin advocates? Should I fight? In order to make them understand the rules, abide by them and establish a correct view of right and wrong. Punishing children is only for education, not for venting anger. Some parents don't distinguish the purpose of beating their children, which will hurt their hearts and affect the parent-child relationship.
Fight? We should also pay attention to principles. Don't fight if you are angry. Don't fight if you don't know why, and don't fight if your child knows it's wrong. Beating a child is the result he should bear after making a mistake, not imposed on his child by his parents.
Many people can't be so considerate when hitting children. As long as you can't control your emotions, you will hit your child. If you don't know your weight, it will often do harm to his health.
There is a great disparity in height and weight between adults and children. Once angry, it will inevitably cause psychological oppression to children. In the case of anger, adults are extremely explosive, and children's fragile hearts simply can't bear such pressure. It is easy to cause their fear and aversion to their mothers, which will break the parent-child relationship, affect the formation of children's personality and have a negative impact on children's outlook on life and values.
2. Overindulgence of children
There is an old saying in our country:? Spoil a child like a child? . Nowadays, young people generally have only one child, so they are especially loved by their families. Give the child whatever he wants, and he won't be wronged at all. Do it at home, bully? Mother will take good care of her when she goes out.
For the mother, the child is the treasure in her own hands, and her wishes will be satisfied. Even if the child makes inappropriate behavior, he is unwilling to criticize.
Over time, the majesty of the mother no longer exists in the eyes of children. Don't respect your mother in life, even beat and scold your mother. I think it's natural for everyone to be kind to themselves. If you don't know how to be grateful, you will never be filial.
Excessive doting on children can easily lead to unruly and willful character of children, and children cannot integrate into collective life. No matter in school or in society, doing things is always self-centered, and not obeying the rules will often hurt others or do things that violate the law and morality. A mother can't be with her children all her life. Spoiling her children is tantamount to harming them.
3. The educational concept of absolutism
Abraham Maslow strongly disapproves of autocratic education, believing that such education will affect children's natural development. He once said: authoritarianism is like putting tights on children, which easily leads to children's personality problems and psychological obstacles. ?
In life, the frequent use of authoritative educational methods will suppress children's thinking and affect the development of children's independent thinking and judgment ability. Being in a depressed environment for a long time will make children's psychological pressure more and more serious, forming depression and inferiority complex.
Authoritarian education makes children have no chance to try. Over time, it will inevitably affect the development of children's independent ability, making children more and more dependent on their mothers and affecting their future development. Undemocratic family education makes children's thinking more and more limited and become dolls at the mercy of others. Even if children are gifted, they will become ordinary because of authoritarian education.
The above three wrong education methods delay the growth of children, and doting, tyranny and abuse make the parent-child relationship farther and farther away, and even ruin the child's life. Mothers should learn scientific educational concepts in order to correctly guide their children's positive growth and be more conducive to their future development.
How to educate children is more conducive to their growth? But also can bring the parent-child relationship closer.
1: Learn to empathize.
In education? Empathy? The significance lies in being able to think from the child's point of view and form empathy and empathy.
For example, because the child didn't get the little red flower at school, his mood has been low since he got home. Mothers who don't understand empathy will hit their children: Why are you so stupid? How dare you be sad if you don't get a reward? ? Obviously, the mother doesn't understand the child's thoughts or why he is angry. Empathy parents will comfort him and encourage his children to work harder next time, as long as it is better than this progress.
Understanding empathy is not telling children the truth, but listening. Listen to your child's thoughts and feelings, and you can learn to think for him. In the process of listening to your child, you can express your approval of his ideas.
Don't refute the child's opinion casually, encourage him to express his feelings and learn to accept the child's small emotions. If the child does something wrong, he can wait until he calms down before reasoning. Learn to communicate with children on an equal footing and discuss and formulate corresponding codes of conduct.
2. Give your child a chance to make mistakes.
Everyone will make mistakes when growing up, but the focus should be on how to deal with them. After making a mistake, ask your child the reason, don't criticize him directly, and abandon stick education. If parents are not calm enough, it will also affect their children to form the wrong way of doing things.
After making a mistake, parents should help their children know the truth and learn from experience, so that they won't make the same mistake again. Every mistake is a turning point in a child's growth. Parents should seize every educational opportunity and give him correct guidance.
3. Set a good example for children.
In life, what parents ask their children to do should also set an example. Every time a child makes a mistake, parents should also reflect on their usual educational methods. If it is because your own wrong behavior misled your child, you should correct it in time, supervise each other with your child and grow together.
No matter how good a sermon is, it is better to lead by example and give a positive influence to the child, so that he can form a correct outlook on life and values under the influence of his parents.
For example, children should know how to be grateful, and parents can repay their kindness in life and respect and honor the elderly. Parents are role models for children, and children can learn to be grateful under the positive influence.
Treat your mother like an enemy? It was not formed in a day. Mothers should reflect on their own behavior, change the way of education and prevent mistakes from continuing. Frequent communication with children can narrow the distance between us and be beneficial to education.