After the parent-teacher conference last Friday, parents left one after another. Feifei (pseudonym) mother stayed to talk to me about her children. She said: "Feifei is introverted and timid, and she doesn't like to show herself." I advised her not to worry and give the children time slowly. When you have time, take your children to Xinbin Park, climb the city wall, rock climb and play with sand. Let children play freely and have more contact with children of the same age. In the process of playing, he will learn to associate with children, and the problem you mentioned will naturally be solved. Parents gently nod, I believe that children will become lively and cheerful!
After my parents talked to me, I thought about it for a long time. In fact, how children treat others, how to communicate and express their feelings mainly depends on their parents' words and deeds. Some experts have said: "Give your child whatever he wants". The "response" here is not to let us adults unconditionally agree with the children's demands, but to correctly reflect the children's demands and pay attention to their words and deeds. Speaking of letting go, there must be opposition. Children are too young to understand, but that's no reason! In the United States, when the child is ten months old, the mother will tie the child's hands and let the child eat by himself. Are they old? The sooner parents let their children leave their parents and do what they can, the better for their growth!
When we can't spend our lives with our children, we should let go of love and don't let it turn into harm.
Teach children to share their experiences. Educating children has always been a matter of different opinions, and there is no fixed model for educating children. I will communicate with teachers and parents the parents' experience of parent-teacher conferences and the way we educate our children.
First, pay attention to ideological and moral education and inherit and carry forward the fine tradition of respecting the elderly and caring for the young.
A child's growth is not only learning and expertise, but also a healthy growth psychology, which is the guarantee to cope with the increasingly complex social competition in the future. Since children are sensible, we deliberately educate them to be tolerant and polite, and we can simply judge right and wrong about some practices. From kindergarten, children are taught to love the collective, respect teachers, unite with classmates and abide by rules and regulations. So children are very disciplined and obedient students at school. At the same time, we often remind him to be a polite, labor-loving and caring child, and take the initiative to say hello to teachers and classmates. .
Second, give full play to the exemplary role of parents to help children develop good habits.
Children are very imitative, and many characters and practices are learned and imitated from their parents. Parents are the first teachers of the children. From birth to school, even to middle school, it is the parents who may be in contact with the children the most. They are always imitating their parents' words and deeds. As the saying goes: learn from good people and dance with God. Therefore, parents should first set an example.
Third, enhance children's concentration and develop a good habit of being serious and responsible.
Most of them are only children now. With the improvement of living conditions, children's status in the family is getting higher and higher. You must finish your work. This is a good boy.
Fourth, cultivate children's sense of independence.
We often see reports that some college students can't take care of themselves and so on. All these remind us that children can't be independent and will always grow up. In order to let the child learn to be independent, we agreed to let her live on campus and develop a good habit of independence. At the same time, living on campus can help children to re-understand and examine what collectivism is in a small society, how to sincerely respect teachers, unite classmates, abide by various rules and regulations, and form a good thinking mode from perceptual knowledge to rational knowledge. Let children feel failures and setbacks, let them gradually develop their self-awareness and seek ideological progress independently and dialectically.
Fifth, learn to communicate with children and be their friends.
The most important thing to communicate with children is equality, and everyone longs for respect. Children are no exception. In the process of learning, children will encounter some problems more or less. When she asks you for help or is ready to give up, try not to criticize and complain about the child. Trust your child at all times, give her time, encourage her and encourage her to believe that she has the ability to overcome difficulties. We help her analyze the reasons, find out the problems, inspire and guide her from the side, stimulate her desire to solve the problems, and enjoy the joy after solving the problems with her. For example, my daughter recently told me, "I feel that I can't keep up with my studies recently and I can't understand it in class." So, I told my daughter: "Finish the homework of the day as soon as possible, and then, be sure to review the next day's class and prepare the teacher for the new lesson in advance, so that the new lesson will not be incomprehensible." When I was educating my daughter, I told her: "To learn mathematics well, mathematics is a basic course, and physics, chemistry, biology and geography should be used, so as to guide her to realize that the broad practical application fields of mathematics, such as architecture, biomedicine, finance and economics, statistics, computer programming, probability and mathematical statistics, operational research, discrete mathematics and calculation methods, are inseparable from mathematics. Secondly, these courses seem complicated, but in fact they are all language problems. Everyone knows Chinese characters, but whether they can be understood or not is a matter of language. Mathematics, physics, chemistry, biology, history and geography are all Chinese topics. In addition to English, it can certainly provide a better language environment. " I always believe that if we cheat children once now, they will cheat you a hundred times in the future. Listen carefully to your child's different opinions and don't interrupt at will. Don't tell the child what you think until she has finished. Be sure to stand on an equal footing, don't just make condescending demands and give orders, or you will never know the true thoughts and reality of your child again.
6. I remember when I was in college, my uncle told me that studying in school was only a kind of ability training, and education had just begun when I left school and entered the society.
As the saying goes, a thousand things are easy to learn and one thing is difficult to understand. To sum up, as a parent, I think the first task at present is to set an example and guide correctly. It is not easy to guide children to be sensible. This is my simple experience as a parent to educate children. I hope that through communication, everyone can improve their ability to educate their children so that every child can grow up healthily and happily!
As soon as my child transferred to this school, he attended the parent-teacher conference held in the second grade of the school on the first day. This is the first parent-teacher meeting since my son entered school. I felt deeply and gained a lot. By attending this parent-teacher conference, I have a deeper understanding of the school and teachers.
After the parent-teacher meeting, I carefully recalled the teacher's words and had the following experience:
First, pay attention to the cultivation of children's formative education.
People often say: "Habit becomes nature". A good habit will benefit children in their study and life for life, while a bad habit will only increase many detours and setbacks. As a school, we should strengthen the cultivation of students' habits, and as parents, we should set an example, so as to play a role of example and influence.
Second, care for children, start with concern, support and encourage more, and cultivate children's self-confidence.
For children's learning, parents sometimes pay too much attention to "scores", often compare with colleagues' children to the greatest extent, evaluate whether children are good or bad, but forget to pay attention to his learning process, encourage, praise and correct mistakes in time, and enhance children's self-confidence. Never say that your children are stupid, and never compare your children with others' children. As long as children compare with themselves, even a little progress and improvement is commendable. It is necessary for us parents to adjust our mentality, instead of always seeing the advantages of other children, we should compare the advantages of others with the shortcomings of our children. We should learn to discover the bright spots of children and let "appreciation education" be implemented.
Third, create a good learning atmosphere so that parents and children can make progress together.
As a good parent, you should spend more time with your child, study with him, communicate with him and let him communicate with others. Don't always treat him like a child. In fact, his world is the same as that of an adult. His life was described and cultivated by our parents and teachers.
Fourth, talk to children often.
Talk to children often, respect them and understand them. Through this parent-teacher meeting, I deeply realized that under the current situation, as a parent, we should be strict and moderate with our children, and we should neither control too many children nor set them free. We should give them enough space and time to develop freely.
The child has just transferred to this school, but I feel that the child itself needs to be strengthened: the handwriting of the homework is not neat enough; There is no habit of reviewing, previewing, doing problems and correcting daily courses; I am timid, not confident enough, and my voice is too low in class. As parents of children, my family and I need to improve: the way of education should be encouraged and not blamed too much; Reading with children; Educate children to start from self-improvement, correct family members' bad habits and set a good example for children. We can't just rely on school education, but also need communication, cooperation and mutual support between teachers and parents, because our parents are also enlighteners and mentors of children. Although the child has only been in school for more than two weeks, when I open his textbooks and exercise books, I can see the smiling faces of teachers encouraging him and making achievements one by one. Teachers sincerely appreciate and encourage every child, which is the precious "teacher love"! Through this period of contact, what I appreciate most is that the school not only emphasizes the importance of learning, but also teaches our parents how to cultivate their children's good study habits and living habits. As the saying goes, "You can only believe in your own way if you are close to the teacher". It is also lucky for children to meet several good teachers with rich teaching experience and educational wisdom.
The process of children's growth is a process from ignorance to knowledge, which requires the comprehensive guidance of teachers and the patient guidance of parents in order to grow up healthily. I believe that from today on, we are not only a competent parent, but also an excellent parent. We are willing to join hands with school teachers to make children have a happy primary school.
In short, the healthy growth of children can not be separated from the training of schools and teachers. Our parents try their best to cooperate and thank the teacher for his hard work.
Educating children to share experiences in April is a colorful season; It's another restless season.
Middle school students are in the spring of life. In the process of growing up, I often struggle with complex psychological contradictions, sometimes full of hope and passion, and sometimes full of disappointment and frustration. Psychologist Steinlehall called this period a "storm" period. Middle school students feel fresh and curious about the world, but also feel strange and puzzled. To this end, we must first urge them to learn and solve the puzzles and problems they encounter during their growth. Every time they solve a difficulty, they will make progress towards adulthood.
How to educate and train their children is a problem that every parent wants to solve. Here I will briefly talk about my experience in educating children.
First, lead by example.
Mr. Tao Xingzhi, an educator, said, "Thousands of teachers teach people to seek truth, and thousands of students learn to be human." Parents, as children's first teachers, are the objects of children's worship and imitation, and the most important source of information that affects children's behavior habits. The biggest feature of family education is subtle influence. Parents' words and deeds in daily life often unconsciously affect their children. Parents' behavior habits, standards of right and wrong, attitudes towards others, moral concepts and many other aspects affect children all the time. Parents are children's mirrors. If you want your child to be what kind of person, parents should be like that first. Honest parents can cultivate honest children; Parents who swear can't cultivate civilized children; Selfish parents cannot raise selfless children. In order to cultivate students' good personality, parents must match their words with deeds and set an example for their children. Only in this way can they play a unique educational role for their healthy growth.
Second, cultivate children's good habits and comprehensive ability.
The education of children should not only teach them learning skills, but also cultivate their ability and quality. Cultivate children's comprehensive quality in small things. This includes morality, personality, habits, hobbies, mentality and so on. The education of children's behavior habits should not be underestimated, and parents must cultivate their sense of responsibility and self-discipline.
Pay attention to cultivate children's frustration tolerance, stimulate children's tolerance to mental stress, promote children's rehabilitation ability, and enhance children's ability to withstand adversity tests. When he fails in the exam, effective measures should be taken to comfort and encourage him. Let children face the reality with a good attitude, study harder and achieve ideal results.
Be honest and trustworthy, and cultivate children's attitude of being responsible for their own mistakes. When a person knows that he has made a mistake, he is ready to accept punishment and take responsibility for his guilt in order to achieve psychological balance. However, because children lack the ability of self-regulation, they may evade responsibility, but this is a good opportunity to give honest and trustworthy education, so that children can understand what responsibility is and learn to take responsibility.
Children often encounter unpleasant things. In this case, parents should give reasonable family education, communicate with their children calmly, stabilize their emotions, don't scold them, don't force them to do things they don't want to do now, and give them a time to adjust themselves.
Third, help children set up correct ideals and goals.
It is also very important for every parent to guide their children to establish correct learning attitudes and learning goals. In today's era of market economy and rejuvenating the country through science and technology, we should always warn our children that only by studying hard and mastering more knowledge can they learn skills.
Today's children, after the high school stage, are far away from their parents for a long time, and it is common to live alone. The contact with parents is only about 1 ~ 2 days a week. Now, the enthusiasm for learning is generally not conscious enough, which requires the supervision and guidance of parents.
Children are not born smart, but diligent. The all-round development of children's morality, intelligence and physique is inseparable from the attention and guidance of parents. Parents should learn positive education and negative education. What is positive is mainly encouragement and expectation. For example, help children establish their recent learning goals and future ideal goals; Today's study is to prepare for the future. What are the future goals?
We should also advocate reverse education to make students feel stressed. If they don't study hard, they will accomplish nothing, and even make children feel that such low-level jobs as "sweeping the streets and digging toilets" may pass you by, not to mention that heroes are useless. Force children to feel the importance and urgency of learning responsibility. Once people have pressure, they have motivation and can develop to a higher level.
Fourth, strengthen communication and be a good teacher and friend for children?
Understand each other and communicate the hearts of parents and children. Only when parents understand their children and children understand their elders can we communicate the hearts of parents and children and carry out effective family education. To understand children, we must first carry out spiritual edification, that is, sincerely care for children in many ways, so that children can feel that their parents are respectable, amiable, lovely and credible, and are willing to "dig out" their hearts. Parents and children often don't easily agree on things because of their different ages and cognitive abilities. This requires parents not only to have the ability to distinguish right from wrong, but also to make their children's views clear. When you encounter a problem, don't rush to teach the child, but also put yourself in the shoes: "If I were a child, how would I feel?" This can not only shorten the psychological distance, but also receive good educational results.
Shorten the psychological distance between parents and children with the power of praise. Everyone wants to get others' understanding, trust and respect, which is human nature and also the need for a person to maintain a happy mood and strong enthusiasm for work. Praise can satisfy people's needs Teenagers, on the other hand, have poor psychological endurance and a stronger demand for praise. This requires parents to pay attention to discovering and praising the bright spots of truth, goodness and beauty. While praising, strictly demand children; At the same time, it also points out the shortcomings. The combination of love and strictness can not only give full play to the advantages of children, overcome their shortcomings, but also shorten the psychological distance between parents and children.
Verb (abbreviation for verb) leaves a separate space for children.
Create a relaxed environment and leave independent space for children. The failure of achievement or practice means nothing. For children, parents should encourage and care more, blame and complain less, find out the cause of failure with children, encourage and educate him, and get up where he fell. Only by leaving children an independent space can children learn knowledge in the sea of books, learn more easily and accumulate rich knowledge. Of course, without pressure, children may lack sense of responsibility, but excessive pressure will affect their physical and mental development and study.
Every parent hopes that their children will become successful people in the country and society in the future, but there are still great disadvantages in the whole society and family education at present. We should get out of the misunderstanding of the disadvantages of family education as soon as possible and truly become children's mentor.