Children's hearts are pure, but they have sensitive self-esteem. To educate children well, we must first love and respect them and be a good listener patiently. After listening to their children's voices, parents will take appropriate education to make their children grow up healthily and lively. For example, when children encounter difficulties, parents should encourage them to overcome them like friends; When children make mistakes, parents should not blame them blindly, but also educate them to face them like friends and help them correct them. However, in the real society, some parents often take care of their children in their lives. It can be said that I am afraid of getting hot in my mouth and freezing to spit it out. But there are not many parents who really treat their children as people with human dignity. If children have any problems in their study and life, when they tell their parents that they are not satisfied, they will interrupt their words and not let them finish. In this regard, the child can only swallow back.
In fact, if parents have no patience to listen to what their children have to say and impose their emotions on their children, the negative impact is obvious. First, children are not valued by their parents. They can only keep their secrets to themselves. It is difficult for parents to know what their children are thinking, so their education will be aimless and at a loss. Second, children's right to speak is not respected by their parents. Over time, children will have antagonistic feelings with their parents, resulting in mutual distrust and communication difficulties. Third, parents don't let their children finish their sentences, which is not conducive to the improvement of children's expression ability, on the other hand, it also makes children feel inferior. It is an excellent opportunity for children to talk to their parents about their inner feelings, so as to improve their expressive ability and enhance their social skills. If children are deprived of this opportunity, their expressive ability will not be improved, and they will find it difficult to express themselves in social communication, resulting in inferiority complex. And a person who lacks self-confidence is hardly a healthy person, let alone a successful person.
Second, set an example. Parents should set a good example for their children.
Parents are the first objects that children imitate. Parents must set an example and set a good example for their children in life and study. Mr. Lu Xun once hit the nail on the head: Parents can not only pass on their excellent qualities to their offspring, but also their bad nature, bad personality and bad living habits will subtly affect their children. Imagine that you are addicted to playing mahjong all day, but you ask your children to work hard; You are rude to people, always training people and hitting people, but asking children to be obedient and clever; You old man, is it possible to ask your children to honor you?
It is often said that my children are generous and polite. In fact, children's politeness is not innate, but acquired, and children naturally like to imitate others. Therefore, parents should pay attention to their words and deeds at home, pay attention to manners and set a good example for their children. For example, when guests come to my house, I not only warmly entertain them myself, but also introduce them to my children, ask them to say hello and pour them tea. He is always happy and feels that he is a member of the family and is valued by adults. At the same time, he cultivated his polite behavior and learned how to entertain guests. For another example, after I accept others' help, I say thank you to others in time; Invite children to write thank-you cards with me when receiving gifts. With the demonstration of our adults, children will naturally learn from our practice if they encounter similar situations again.
Third, create opportunities for children to hone in hardships.
Today's children are the little emperors in the family, and they are the darling and expectation of the whole family. Parents really put it aside and are afraid of the cold, holding it in their arms for fear that their children will suffer, be wronged and be frustrated. A parent once said to me: when we were young, our conditions were not good, but now we have good conditions, and we will meet whatever our children need. This will lead to children's too strong self-esteem, too fragile heart, lack of ability to live independently, and lack of personality strength on the road of hard work, forming bad characters such as pursuing life enjoyment, not cherishing the fruits of labor, willfulness, selfishness and competitiveness, which hinders the formation of children's good character.
In fact, parents should understand that strong willpower, the ability to resist setbacks in the face of failure, and the broad mind to understand and tolerate others are often produced in frustrated experiences. A child will encounter many setbacks in his life. Parents can't protect him for life. Only by giving him proper anti-frustration education can he be tempered in suffering. Therefore, we should not always worry about children suffering and being wronged, but also try to create some opportunities for children to experience pain. For example, every time I go on holiday, I will take my child to climb the mountain, let him experience fatigue and cultivate his strong will. Sometimes he goes to the supermarket and wants me to buy more expensive toys. I will tell him that money is earned by mom and dad, and we can't just waste it. Of course, if it is really useful to him, he is duty-bound to buy it, so that he can appropriately refuse some of his children's demands, and he will understand that life will be unsatisfactory; Usually let the children do what they can at home and let him understand the hard work of their parents.
As the saying goes, there is nothing you can't eat. So remind young parents that if your child has more than one experience, such as falling, getting sick, being beaten, and losing toys, you should take the opportunity to guide the child correctly, which may increase his good character.
Fourth, strict love and moderate love for children should be moderate.
It is the nature of parents to love their children, but in daily life, some parents can do whatever they want as long as their children are happy, spoil and indulge their children too much and give them whatever they want. Some children even take pleasure in beating adults or destroying things. In this way, children will become more and more disrespectful. Over time, children grow up, and once they are not satisfied with higher and higher material enjoyment and lack the ability to restrain themselves with moral standards, it is easy to leave. Makarenko, an educator in the former Soviet Union, once pointed out:
It is the most terrible gift for parents to give their children everything, sacrifice everything and even their own happiness. Therefore, our parents should give support and encouragement to their children's correct words and deeds and reasonable requirements. Not only can they not meet their requirements for incorrect words and deeds, but they should also patiently persuade and educate their children to understand the truth of being a man. This is the real love for children.
At present, most of the children in the family are only children, and the elders put all their efforts on the only child. We can often see such a situation: when eating, children run in front and adults chase after them with rice bowls. It was really you chasing me, cheating and coaxing, and finally feeding me. Or the child is playing with toys, and the parents stand by and take them to his mouth. In fact, this kind of excessive care, excessive care and protection has developed a child's psychology of only enjoying, not sharing and not paying, and has developed a self-centeredness. Parents should make appropriate demands on their children while loving them.