Yin Jianli, a famous education expert, is a successful mother, and her daughter Yuan Yuan is excellent in study, personality and habits. When reading her educational book "A good mother is better than a good teacher", I found that her educational philosophy always revolves around respecting children's nature.
The notebook she gave her daughter left a deep impression on me. The use of notebooks is Yin Jianli's knowledge of nature, and children like others' approval. She wrote down every little progress of her four-year-old daughter in a small notebook, and these contributions are insignificant for adults, such as "learning to cut potatoes" and "helping her mother wash dishes". She always draws a little red flower. Every time she records merits and demerits for her children, they are very happy. Every once in a while, they will count how many little red flowers they have won.
Yin Jianli believes that material rewards for children will not really motivate children to continue to make progress and love life, but the effect of spiritual rewards is long-term.
I immediately applied this method to my eight-year-old daughter, and the effect was remarkable. That time she played hide-and-seek with her sister and had a good time. I immediately wrote it down in her notebook, and the next day she continued to try to take her sister to play. There are fewer and fewer incidents of chicken flying and dog jumping between sisters.
Fun is also a great nature of children. In play, children realize the laws of the world. My second daughter likes to play with water, so I need to clean up the mess for her often. I still remember one time I put a big steamer on the kitchen floor. When I came back from the bathroom, I found her jumping in the pot in slippers, and the water spilled all over the floor. Well, since I like playing with water so much, every rainy day, I will take her to the diving pit and then go home in wet pants and rain boots.
I am deeply impressed by the children's happiness in diving pits, and their emotions are contagious. What happiness can be purer and cheaper than the joy of children jumping freely in the water?
However, many of our parents always use their own advantages to make their children passive when their own interests conflict with their children's. They told their children to be good. Because forcing children to be good children is the most worry-free for parents.
Some parents even let their children yield by yelling, and some still think that "weapons can't be beaten." All these practices show parents' incompetence and lack of wisdom. Yin Jianli, an education expert, always uses wisdom and gentle power to resolve conflicts and contradictions, respects children and understands their thoughts, and has achieved good educational results.
The will of passive "obedient" children is suppressed, with serious consequences. On the one hand, children's self-confidence and sense of responsibility are destroyed. Secondly, children will be deprived of happiness. Third, children are psychologically alienated from their parents, no longer trust their parents, and close their hearts to their parents, leaving hidden dangers for adolescent rebellion. Fourth, children who have not learned to respect others will face this problem in their later life and work.
In addition to fun and praise, Chen Heqin, a famous child educator in China, found through studying children's psychology that children have other natures: children like imitation, curiosity, success, outdoor life and gregarious.
As parents, if we can respect the law of children's development in these aspects and guide them in life, then children will certainly become useful talents with healthy sunshine.
Respect is like warm sunshine, which warms children's hearts; Respect is like a spring breeze, blowing through a child's happy heart; Respect is like spring rain, silently nourishing the growth of children.