Seven taboos to avoid in educating children. Educating children is a very old topic and one of the most concerned issues in the family. Every parent wants to educate an excellent child and has always attached great importance to it. What taboo words can't be said in the process of educating children?
Seven forbidden words to be avoided in educating children 1 forbidden words 1: You are a sister, please leave your sister alone.
Speech analysis: Many parents think that this can solve the disputes between children. Those who have been parents recall their childhood, as if they had been educated in this way since childhood, thinking that brothers and sisters should let go of their younger brothers and sisters, and even if they are dissatisfied, they can only endure it.
In fact, the key to solving children's disputes is not age, but fairness is the most important principle. Parents should change their perspective and let their children feel that they have the responsibility to take care of their younger brothers and sisters, instead of blindly making unprincipled concessions.
Far-reaching influence: if parents educate their children in this tone for a long time, it will only make the older party bear a grudge against their younger siblings and gradually become a bad feeling between brothers and sisters; Siblings, on the other hand, rely on their own youth and take others for granted and will make mistakes in the future.
Forbidden word 2: this is my sister's toy, and my sister plays with it herself.
Speech analysis: Sometimes parents buy two identical toys to prevent children from competing for toys, so that children will not be jealous because others have their own. If there is a dispute between children because of toys, parents will say to them: this is my sister's toy, and my sister plays with her own. In fact, this teaching method is not a radical solution. Parents should share toys with each other, so that their children can understand the needs of others and get the happiness of sharing with others.
Far-reaching influence: If parents often let their children realize that some things are their own and others', it is easy for them to establish the concept of Chu River and Han Dynasty and not understand the importance of sharing with each other, thus alienating the relationship between children.
Forbidden language 3: Love whoever you like.
Speech analysis: parents should not think that they can tame their children by saying these things to them. Whoever you love is good, it will instill in children the wrong idea that love is conditional. Parents let their children feel that as long as they behave better and behave better, their parents will love you more. This mentality of the elders will unconsciously intensify the competition of children. In order to win the love of elders and cover up their true nature, they will please their elders in various ways. Some children with low self-confidence tend to think that the love of their elders is unreliable and feel inferior.
Far-reaching influence: In the long run, children will try to please their elders, win their love and make them afraid to show their true self. Even if a child lives in a family that should show sincerity, it is like wearing a mask and living under invisible pressure.
Forbidden language 4: Brother is alone. Go and play with him.
Speech analysis: This kind of imperative command will only disgust children. Imagine that children are doing their own things happily, but parents say that children will put down their own things and go to play with their younger brothers. Of course, children will be disappointed. Even if children play with their younger brothers, they are not necessarily sincere. On the contrary, older children will feel that their parents only care about other children's feelings and ignore themselves, which may deepen the gap between brothers and sisters invisibly.
Far-reaching influence: If parents often ignore their children's feelings, it will only worsen the relationship between children and parents. If parents often let their children do things they don't want to do, they will have strong dissatisfaction with their children.
Taboo 5: She is our domestic servant and we have the right to scold her.
Speech analysis: No matter what happens, parents tell their children that she is just a nanny, making them realize that she is a servant, and we have the right to scold her when we hire her to work. This is very class-oriented! This will make children don't know how to respect others, and they don't know the efforts that nannies make for their families. Imagine this situation. If your child makes a mistake at home, parents will blame the nanny for not taking good care of it, which will only make the child not get the education he deserves, and even fail to take responsibility under any circumstances in the future.
Far-reaching influence: If parents only blame the nanny of the child for the truth without knowing the truth, it will encourage the child who made the mistake to make the same mistake again.
Taboo 6: Spoil me in front of menstruation? I'll punish you if the guests leave!
Speech analysis: relatives from afar, children coquetry in front of others, parents said such things in anger at the moment. Generally speaking, in order to avoid embarrassing guests and themselves, parents are not allowed to scold their children immediately, and are prepared to wait until the guests leave. However, because parents and guests are laughing and laughing, they forget all about the punished children. However, if parents think that their children have made mistakes but don't punish them immediately, they will wait too long and even forget to punish them. If you want to achieve the effect of punishing children and let them know their mistakes and correct them, you must deal with them immediately, otherwise the effect will be greatly reduced.
Far-reaching impact: rewards and punishments should be dealt with immediately in order to achieve practical results. Most children are forgetful. If they wait too long for punishment, they may have completely forgotten their mistakes, and the effect of punishment will be greatly reduced.
Taboo 7: What is the child's name? I told the teacher to punish him!
Speech analysis: Parents are heartbroken at the news that their child has been bullied, and naturally want to protect him and stand up for him.
However, parents should know that when children talk about their own situation, they often want to get their parents' attention first. Parents should teach their children how to solve problems with a caring attitude, instead of looking for a teacher to take the lead immediately. If the problem is not too serious, parents should let their children learn how to deal with it. If children are encouraged to tell the teacher, the teacher will deal with it. Remember: learning to deal with problems is a stage that children must go through during their growth.
Far-reaching influence: because children have disputes from time to time, who dares to play with their parents every time they encounter problems? This will only make children more isolated.
7 Taboo Words to Avoid in Educating Children 2 Some parents are very rude to their children. When they open their mouths, they scold, "Why did you get so little in the exam?" Look: even elm is useless, dead elm is still a knot in one's heart. Finally, when my grades were not high, my parents said, "I didn't see such a stupid child after you finished the calculation, which really pissed me off"; "Why are you really useless? You got such a small score. " . . . . . .
Children have self-esteem, and when they hear these sarcastic words, they often have rebellious psychology. They don't understand this positive stimulus to their parents, but they are often unconvinced, which will have side effects on their parents' future education. Hostility can only form "drug resistance", so I will turn a deaf ear to my parents' patience and persuasion in the future. How can they receive a good education with a breath in their hearts?
If the child protests your sarcasm, "You call me stupid, how can I be stupid? I'm not stupid! " "These are good children. They still have self-esteem. It's not good if the child doesn't respond to sarcasm all day. You call me an ass, and I am an ass. You call me a stupid pig, and I am a stupid pig. Isn't that more difficult to educate?
The so-called "love is deep, hate is cut." In life, adults think that scolding children is good for them and a sign of being responsible for them. They think that children are still young and will not be remembered if they are scolded. There are also some parents and teachers who think that using language to "provoke" can make children repent at once and become positive, so bad words such as "bad boy", "stupid" and "you will never do anything in your life" are thrown at children without thinking.
As everyone knows, this is often counterproductive. Because children are pure and kind by nature, young hearts are the most fragile. These extreme words will hurt the child's tender heart, hurt his personal dignity and self-confidence, and even leave an indelible shadow on his life. Some children even ended their young lives.
Children who are growing up need encouragement and help most. To cultivate children's self-confidence and enterprising spirit, teachers or parents must pay attention to "show mercy" when educating children! Especially when the child has unsatisfactory performance, he should be good at discovering its bright spots and inspiring him to move on.
On this issue, Edison's mother is an example worthy of our emulation. Edison was denounced as "the king of mischief" in elementary school, and even called "a loser who does everything" by the principal. But his mother firmly believed that Edison was a talented person. She personally taught him and supported his experiments, and finally cultivated a world-famous great inventor.
Therefore, as teachers or parents, we should learn to give children a fair and inspiring evaluation, and never use "verbal violence" to "mentally abuse" children, so as to help them build up their self-confidence, correct their shortcomings and knock on the door of success.
Parents or teachers must do everything possible to protect children's self-esteem. Self-esteem can only be cultivated through respect. Remember two slogans: "Don't use the knife of language!" "Don't shoot personality!" .