In Zhou Liyuan's book The Power of Writing Self-Healing, there is the same expression for emotions. When depression comes to visit, we might as well regard it as a dark cloud, but you are not a dark cloud, you are the sky behind it. The sky can completely accept and tolerate these dark clouds, let them come and go, and the clouds are rolling and comfortable.
Writing Self-Healing Power is a practical book that teaches us ordinary people to learn self-healing methods. There are no unfamiliar and obscure professional psychological concepts, no special cases, and no difficult treatment methods. There is only one thing to do-write freely.
Writing down your understanding of life or yourself, writing down your findings, and writing down your exploration and healing findings can complete a process of self-emotional healing.
The author of this book, Mr. Zhou Liyuan, is a doctor of psychology, a senior psychologist and a pyramid scheme writer. Her works focus on personal growth under China culture, mainly involving love, marriage, parents and children, and family background. Her writing is gentle and keen, and she turns crude psychology into practical knowledge. This new book, Writing Self-Healing, is such a simple reference book to help ordinary people transcend the influence of family background, improve their personality and realize their self-worth.
Writing can make life start over. Try the following three suggestions:
0 1 Free writing with Socratic questions
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What is freelance writing? No matter what you are thinking, even the thoughts that flash through your mind, some small thoughts, and even the feelings that make you uncomfortable, you should record them immediately. In the process of recording, you don't do any control, just simply record them.
However, freelance writing is not a running account, but what I experienced or saw, what I felt, what I thought, what I associated with and what I finally got.
At this time, you can use Socrates questioning method to ask yourself questions every day and record them. The human brain is amazing, and meaningless things will not be associated or recalled by ourselves. Freelance writing is to let you examine yourself and spend some time listening to your inner voice and understanding your thoughts every day.
In the book Acceptance, Hai suggested that the first of the best ways to raise children is to "listen". This kind of listening is not only for children, but also for yourself.
Listening is to perceive the true needs of the heart. Listening is a kind of consciousness, which can make us the masters of our own lives. We grew up by raising children. Children don't need our education, just our love. Listen, let's take the first step on the road of growth.
Our daily free writing can start with a small matter and ask ourselves questions. Know if you are happy? Happiness? Why do you feel this way? Why is there such behavior? What am I after? What am I afraid of? What changes do I need to make?
Freelance writing is a release of self-emotion and accumulated pressure for many years. Perhaps the busy life covers up our star-like true feelings, and we can find our original true self by constantly writing down our doubts.
Life cannot blossom brilliantly from lies.
Freelance writing is a process of self-dialogue. If we can honestly face our various emotional reasons, we will have the courage to solve these problems, and then our life will be full of self-esteem and self-love.
Make free writing a habit.
Everything in this world, which one thing is not every little makes a mickle, gradually mature. You can't eat a big fat man in one bite. All success is based on bit by bit efforts. Keep writing freely!
As long as we have enough time to listen to ourselves, we will certainly hear our inner voice. When we spend more and more time with ourselves, our consciousness will become stronger and stronger. At this time, it will be easier for us to find our core emotions-the core ideas put forward by the author in this book.
The core emotion is the emotional trauma we encounter in our life. This kind of emotion is inherent in us and has the meaning of survival, such as fear, anger, sadness, disgust, happiness and excitement. These words are physical feelings, including physical impulses, which will lead to adaptive actions.
For example, if we drink spoiled milk, we will definitely spit it out immediately. Each core emotion has its specific function, which helps us to live in the present.
In the book, the author puts forward a model of changing triangles. Is to find six core emotions from your own feelings. Without these six emotions, we can dig out the core emotions behind from the repressed emotions and defense styles.
Only when you write freely enough can you find the thoughts and feelings that appear repeatedly in your life. What are our strengths, weaknesses or preferences that we didn't realize before? Even we can slowly see how our life grows up step by step.
In the recently hit love variety show "The Spring Festival Evening Begins", every divorced man and woman who came to participate in the show was once immersed in the dedication of work or family, and paid little attention to their inner feelings. It was not until the beginning of this program that they sat together and talked about the past, their predecessors and themselves, only to find that there were too many things to care about and be busy in their marriage, but they forgot to listen to themselves, to be aware of themselves and to forget what they wanted.
We can't meet ourselves because we don't spend time on ourselves.
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Let free writing become the habit of our life, care more about ourselves every day, face ourselves gently and meet the unknown ourselves again.
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Until free writing becomes a way of self-healing.
Turning the subconscious into consciousness is the process of psychotherapy, and so is self-healing, only this time we are our own psychotherapists.
What a writer can attract readers to read is the conflicts reflected in his works, because these conflicts are enough to arouse readers' emotions and awaken people with similar pains in their hearts. The conflict in the works is a difficult problem that the author wants to express in his heart, which is what the author of this book calls the core emotion. Because of empathy, the healing effect is achieved.
What is the emotional trauma we need to heal? The author introduces three stages that need to be seen and treated: adult stage, adolescence and childhood. These three periods respectively correspond to the life mission of our growth.
As adults, we look for self-worth in the society and confirm who I am and what I can contribute to this society. What we have to solve is the conflict between reproduction and stagnation.
In adolescence, what we need to solve is the conflict between self-identity and role confusion, and complete the establishment of independence and intimacy. In childhood, what we have to solve is the conflict between autonomy and shyness and doubt, and the influence of attachment theory on adult relations.
Through free writing, we gradually ask ourselves to find the answer from a small matter, and learn more about ourselves, discover our core emotions, and understand which stage of life the core emotions occur. How did it happen in the corresponding life stage? Write down all the scenes, and then invite important people at that stage to talk to us, or connect your important resources to start a dialogue and let the cure happen naturally to us.
Self-healing can be accomplished through free writing. In simple records again and again, you can see yourself, your feelings, your core emotions, your desires, your mission, your conflicts, and you can be better. You can meet your unknown self and your true self in the journey of life!
What has happened cannot be changed, but memories and experiences can be changed. Writing can make our life start over.
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Writing tells us what is really important in a wonderful way. Let's start now!