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On weekends, Xiao Zhang deliberately got up early to make breakfast. He is going to get up and take his son Xiaojie to the park after breakfast.

After breakfast, Xiao Zhang took his son to the park. Xiaojie is only seven or eight years old. He is a kind-hearted child. As soon as he went to the park, he threw off Xiao Zhang's hand and ran around. Later, when he came back, the transformers in his hand had been dismantled.

Xiao Zhang looked at it and immediately scolded angrily: "What's the matter with you? You really broke the new toy I just bought you. Did you do it on purpose? Don't you even know how to cherish toys? I will never buy you a new toy again. "

Xiaojie looked at his mother timidly, holding a toy in his hand and not daring to say a word.

Xiao Zhang grabbed Xiaojie to stop him from running around and scolded him all the way. The originally happy weekend came to an end in Xiao Zhang's ramble.

Under normal circumstances, as parents, we make mistakes for our children and will directly criticize and blame them at the first time.

For children, we are full of expectations for him, hoping that he can become a perfect person and be strict with children.

I don't want my children to make mistakes. I know I may make mistakes, and I will subconsciously tell my children what you want to do. If the child is disobedient, think that the child is bad, and then severely criticize him. I hope he can learn a lesson and don't make mistakes next time.

Adults never thought that severe criticism and reprimanding of children would have a far-reaching impact on children.

Although the child is young, he thinks he is not sensible. In fact, children are also proud. He will feel uneasy because you scold him. At the same time, his self-esteem will also be hurt, and he will protect his face, talk back to you, or pretend to be indifferent.

And when I saw that the children were not taught, I scolded them badly. Children will only feel more sad and leave a shadow in their hearts.

Even adults themselves can't guarantee that what they do is perfect. In this case, how to criticize children?

02

Qingqing sent her four-year-old daughter to dance school. She thinks that girls send some dances, which is very helpful for children's figure and growth. Moreover, it can exercise children's performance ability and give her a chance to perform, thus improving children's self-confidence.

Qingqing opened a small shop, and the dance training school is opposite the shop, very close.

However, almost every time the class has already started, I rushed the children here and then went back to look after the shop myself.

Pick up the children after class.

Dance teachers will assign homework once a week in class, and will also ask parents to supervise their children to finish exercises at home in the group.

Qing Qing rarely turns over her children's exercise books, nor does she urge her children to practice basic skills.

When reporting the performance at the end of the year, there was a rehearsal.

Qingqing happened to be at the scene. She saw that her daughter was always half a beat slower than other children. She looked around and didn't keep up with the rhythm.

During the intermission, Qing Qing directly criticized the child angrily and said, "What's the matter? Why don't you concentrate on running a dance, and the action is still half-beat? Look at how well other children are doing, and you are dragging your feet alone. "

It is human nature to be used to blaming others and never blame yourself when doing something wrong.

Qingqing's daughter is less than five years old and has no ability to study independently. Although Qingqing had expectations for her children, she didn't do her parents' duty and urged her children to practice. Children behave badly, instead of reflecting on their own problems, they blame them.

For such a young child, the information she received is very sensitive. If my mother criticizes her like this, she will think that my mother doesn't like me because I don't behave well, and she doesn't like me because she learned to dance, so I don't like dancing.

Then, it will only bring bad consequences to children, and even leave a shadow in their hearts.

03

Of course, I don't mean not to criticize children, but even if I criticize, there is no need to use these conventional means, right?

We often subconsciously get angry at the first time and always say, "Why didn't you listen to me?"

"Didn't I tell you?"

"Why are you so stupid?"

"Can't you stop doing this?"

In fact, we should not criticize too much about some unprincipled issues. From birth, children are looking for life experience through constant mistakes and trial and error.

We have never made mistakes since we were children. However, in the face of mistakes, we don't know if we are right or wrong until we do it. Only when we do it will we not make the same mistakes again.

We can criticize children, but the premise of choosing the correct way of criticism is not to hurt children's self-esteem and self-confidence.

Obviously, it is the first grade of primary school, but every time I scribble on the exercise book with a pencil, I sometimes use an eraser to wipe it in the middle of the exercise book. The whole look is not neat.

To this end, Mingming's mother was very anxious and criticized the child and told him not to make such mistakes again, but the effect was not obvious.

The child is still scribbling on the book.

Later, she changed her method.

She put the new homework and the old homework together and asked Mingming, Which one do you like?

Clearly pointed to the clean exercise book.

Mingming's mother picked up two exercise books and opened them to compare them with Mingming's: You see, the new exercise book looks very new because you haven't scribbled on it, while the old exercise book is not only destroyed by the eraser, but also dirty because you scribbled on it. If you want someone to scribble on your clothes and cut a hole?

Mingming shook his head.

Mom went on to say, by the way, this book is just like new clothes. I don't want others to scribble on it, so you will love it as much as your own clothes, right?

Clearly nodded vaguely. From then on, my mother found that Mingming seldom scribbled on the notebook. For this reason, my mother bought a picture book for Mingming and told Mingming that she could draw in it when she wanted to.

Later, Yao Ming got rid of this bad habit.

When children make mistakes, they will feel uneasy, and what we adults need to do is to understand and let children realize their mistakes and correct them.

This is called constructive criticism.

04

Children are like a mirror, reflecting the truest side of their parents.

Children make moral mistakes, which shows that parents' education by example has influenced children and failed to teach them correct concepts. At this time, you can't blame the children.

Instead, we should think about how to change ourselves, lead by example again, be a role model for children, and guide children to carry out correct education.

In critical education, we always hate the disappointment that iron does not produce steel. As long as we are criticized, we will not be full of love.

Sometimes everything you say is blurted out without thinking, and you will feel that everything you do is for the good of your children. However, the speaker is unintentional and the listener is intentional. Your critical language will inadvertently hurt your child's self-esteem and will be remembered by your child for life.

Dr. John, a great British writer, said, "God will not judge others before the end." Then, why do ordinary people like you criticize children?