0 1
I believe that everyone has two selves, one is bohemian and the other is steady. The dull and quiet moment in the bones will envy another fallen self; But when I wander for too long, I will pursue the initial stability.
Each of us is like a colored stone. When we are placed in the sun, it is dazzling. But when we are placed in the darkness, it is so gloomy and gloomy.
Everything is like a radiant arc, which will be reflected invisibly in your positive life, or stagnate in the depths where you are not bright enough. Your courage, freedom, sureness and hard work will eventually be used for the so-called fate. Similarly, your gloom and depression, your complaining and giving up will push you to the bottomless abyss.
In our twenties, we were like colored stones. In the eyes of outsiders, we have received higher education and will have food and clothing in the future. But only we know how uncertain the future is for us.
I don't know when it started. We don't like visiting relatives and friends because we are afraid of being asked about the recent situation.
I'm afraid my friends and relatives speak too well, and I'm afraid I can't afford it.
I'm afraid I'll be spoken ill of by my relatives and friends.
I don't know when we became silent, because we suddenly found ourselves out of place in this world.
I dare not think too big about the world, because I am afraid I can't reach it.
I dare not feel that the world is too small for fear of being laughed at.
We are like a skeleton walking in a different world, wandering in the streets that don't belong to us with other people's thoughts. It looks glamorous, but it's actually superficial.
02
Two days ago, I chatted with Xiao Yi, a classmate in the opposite dormitory, and learned that people who look excellent actually have unknown troubles.
Xiaoyi is a very enterprising girl in my eyes. The word "bold" comes from her decision to take the postgraduate entrance examination.
In the second semester of her sophomore year, she told me that she wanted to take the postgraduate entrance examination, and her direction was finance. After listening to her decision, I admire her.
Because for our language majors, they have never been exposed to any courses related to mathematics since they went to college, and they have to spend half a day in their accounts, so it is not too difficult to apply for graduate students in finance.
But until now, I still remember what she said: I don't want to leave too much room for myself, because I'm worried that I won't work hard. Since you have chosen a direction, you must work hard.
It stands to reason that such a determined girl will definitely try her best to take the postgraduate entrance examination in her favorite direction.
But two days ago, she told me that she decided to take the postgraduate exam in this major. There is a simple reason. Mathematics is too difficult for self-study.
I told her at that time that I must choose my favorite major, because what I like must be my talent, so that it won't be too hard.
She said: "I also want to enroll in a graduate class like other students to make up for my weaknesses and increase my chances of getting on the list, but I will give up the tuition fee of 10 thousand yuan." If I explain the situation to my family, they will definitely put the money on the card the next day. But think about it, it will take a long time for parents to work overtime to save enough money. "
In fact, now she has received three English tutors, because she wants to save a living allowance for herself who is taking the postgraduate entrance examination. She told me that every time she spends at least three hours on the road, sometimes she feels worthless, but she can't help it.
Perhaps in the eyes of ordinary people, she can earn the living expenses of the university and also take into account what professional study looks like. However, only she knows how much worry and unwillingness she has suffered.
Suddenly, it seems that many of you are carrying heavy burdens.
I don't know when we started to escape from our parents-to report good news without reporting worries. Because we know that even if we say it, it will only add trouble to them.
We dare not tell our family that we are not as good as before when we come to the big city, for fear that they will be disappointed.
I don't know when it started, but we became preoccupied and didn't want to tell anyone. We had to wait until the dead of night to lick the wound alone.
To outsiders, we are only in our twenties. We don't have to worry about cars and houses, and we still have living expenses every month. We should be bohemian and carefree, but not so worried.
Yes, we seem to have a light burden, but the actual burden is heavy.
We don't have to pay back the mortgage or car loan, but we bear the expectations of the whole family.
We are afraid that if we don't work hard, we can't give our parents a stable future; We are afraid of our efforts, but we still can't give our families enough protection.
We can't bear to buy the living expenses given by our parents in buy buy, and it's not easy for parents who are far away to make money. We still dare not squander part-time money, thinking about sacrificing our study time for it, and we feel guilty about spending a lot.
Suddenly, in fact, we have entered a bohemian era. Even if we are preoccupied, we are still responsible for the ambiguous future.
I once read a sentence on the Internet: "The best state of a person is to forget the state." People in their twenties are carefree, for love, for study, for family and for endless future. But we need to understand that this road of growth is something we must experience.
Even if we are black and blue all over, even if we roll around, we can hold our heads high, because there are thousands of horses on your shoulders and no one behind you.
The only thing we can do is to put down our burdens and go forward bravely. Maybe it will be slower, but as long as you persist hard, you can eventually become an ordinary person.
Many things may be unfair from the beginning, and there may be some imbalance in my heart, but what can I do?
Only by working harder can we repay our parents for their lifetime travel-stained;
Only by working harder can you avoid this unfairness from happening to your next generation.
There has never been luck or misfortune in this world, and all luck is the inevitable product of hard work; All misfortunes are your destiny.
I believe in fate, but I don't believe in it. We can't change the quality of birth, but we can change the final fate, just as you can't control the beginning of fate, but the end of fate is a future where you can express yourself.
I hope we can all cultivate a gloomy forest to enrich our inner world in this barren reality.