Several principles should be known in family education: first, the principle of teaching students in accordance with their aptitude and all-round development.
To teach students in accordance with their aptitude and develop in an all-round way, it is necessary to determine the educational content and requirements according to children's age characteristics, personality differences and physical and mental development level. Use appropriate methods to carry out targeted education, so that children can grow up healthily according to the requirements of all-round development of morality, intelligence, physique and beauty.
The physical and mental characteristics of children vary with age and personality development, and there are also differences in the level of physical and mental development, which is objective. Parents must do a good job in the education of their children according to their specific conditions. Some parents, regardless of their children's physical and mental development level, treat their children with subjectivist education methods, which violates the laws of children's physical and mental development and often fails to achieve the educational effect or even backfires.
It is understandable that parents want their children to grow up. It is understandable that children can learn more knowledge and skills, but they can't go beyond their own conditions. Some parents want to raise their children into. All-rounders let children learn painting, music, dance, calligraphy and so on. I can't wait for them to learn everything at once. As a result, the child was at a loss. As a result, they can't learn anything well and even ruin their health. There is a difference between a child's talent and IQ. If children don't have a certain talent, parents only ask them to learn this and that based on their subjective wishes. This is beyond their ability. In this way, it will inevitably cause children's student burden, arouse children's resentment, and also affect children's physical and mental health.
Every child's personality, temperament, hobbies and IQ are different. Parents should, according to their children's specific conditions, adopt appropriate methods to carry out targeted education, and cultivate their children's cultural knowledge, ideological morality and behavior habits in accordance with the principle of teaching students in accordance with their aptitude and all-round development. At the same time, we should enlighten, guide and help children according to their physical and mental laws.
When educating children, parents should pay attention to their hobbies, be good at discovering and developing their specialties, and give full play to their potential abilities. At the same time, they should also pay attention to children's all-round development in moral, intellectual and physical aspects. Parents should pay attention to carefully observe their children's performance in morality, character and behavior, and inspire, guide and educate them in time. Some children are confident that they can do anything, so give them a difficult task. After he finished speaking, he can point out his shortcomings appropriately, let him realize that he still has some things to do badly, and gradually cultivate the virtue of modesty and prudence. On the contrary, some children lack self-confidence and dare not do anything. You can give him some simple things to do, give him guidance and help in the process, fully affirm what he has done right after completion, and let him realize that he can do something through his own efforts and gradually build up his self-confidence.
In real life, some parents don't pay attention to cultivating their children's labor concept and don't let their children take part in any work. Even some parents don't even let their children learn to eat and dress, and as a result, they are bound to form a bad habit of idleness and hate work. We should understand that laziness is the root of all evils, and labor can promote children's intellectual development and physical and mental health. Parents should pay attention to creating suitable exercise opportunities for their children, cultivating their children's excellent quality of loving labor and caring for the fruits of labor from an early age, and also cultivating their ability to live independently, which can not be ignored in their early family education.
Second, step by step, according to the principle.
Step by step, according to one's ability, basically means that in family education, children must develop according to their actual physical and mental level and follow the order of gradual improvement from easy to difficult. We should implement this principle and do the following:
First, fully understand the actual level of children's physical and mental development and do it with strength.
To succeed in education, we must fully understand the actual level of children's physical and mental development and follow the laws of children's physical and mental development, so as to consider what to teach and how to teach. Children in early childhood develop very rapidly in physical and psychological aspects, and their ability to live independently, understand things around them and express themselves in language all change with their age. Therefore, early education should be difficult for children to achieve through hard work. If parents do not consider their children's actual level, it is too difficult or too easy to promote their physical and mental development. Whether let children learn to do housework or learn some cultural knowledge, we should proceed from the reality of children's physical and mental development and follow the order from easy to difficult. If we ignore this point, it will be difficult to achieve the desired results. So-called? Can you reach it by jumping? That's the truth. Encourage children to learn some knowledge. When this knowledge is not much different from their existing knowledge level, he is not only willing to learn, but also has the ability to learn, which will easily arouse children's interest in learning. If there is a big difference, even exceeding the actual development level of the child, he is unwilling to learn, and he does not understand. Of course, he is not interested, even bored or contradicted. Therefore, in family education, parents must fully understand their children's physical and mental development level and the actual level of knowledge they have learned. On this basis, only by choosing appropriate educational content and effective educational methods can we achieve ideal results.
Second, we should impart knowledge step by step and cultivate our ability, and don't rush for success.
Every kind of scientific and cultural knowledge has its logical order from the shallow to the deep and from the easy to the difficult, which has certain consistency. When teaching knowledge to children, we should pay attention to the connection between old and new knowledge and enhance the systematization of knowledge. We should not only pay attention to consolidating the knowledge that children have learned, but also inspire children to learn new knowledge. It is necessary to inspire and induce children to think independently and gradually cultivate their ability to think systematically. Pay attention to observation and understand the child's mastery of knowledge. When children don't understand what they have learned, don't rush to teach new content, but teach knowledge according to the principle of step by step and ability.
Some parents are not good at imparting knowledge to their children step by step, or do not understand the logical laws of knowledge. They are eager to succeed in their children. They just set out from their subjective wishes and are eager for success, so that their children can study, read and study for a long time. A questionnaire survey in kindergarten shows that children have to study for two hours after they leave kindergarten and go home. Parents ask their children to write and do arithmetic, which makes preschool education elementary, which makes it difficult for children to accept and produce boredom. In this regard, parents blindly complain that their children do not understand their parents' painstaking efforts and even beat and scold their children. This result is like pulling out the seedlings to encourage them. Unfair doesn't work, and it often backfires. As long as children are inspired and developed step by step according to their actual level, the educational goal can be achieved. Even preschool children have made great development and changes in all aspects, but they are still immature children, which are very different from primary school students in physiology and psychology, and cannot be treated and wanted by students' way of thinking and standards.
Third, the principle of consistently demanding and unifying education.
This principle means that in the family education of children, family members should cooperate and coordinate with each other, so that children's morality and behavior can develop in accordance with unified requirements. The formation of children's ideological morality and behavior habits is not only a long-term development process, but also a continuous and complete process. Therefore, in early education, we should follow the principle of educational unity. Only when family members coordinate with each other and have a unified understanding and requirements for children's education can we achieve good results. In real life, some families are child-centered, and the only child has become? Little sun? The family is child-centered. When children have shortcomings and mistakes, some advocate criticism and education, while others cover up their shortcomings. Grandparents and parents often disagree, and some parents have different understandings. Family members' differences in understanding and requirements will inevitably come into contact with children with different emotions and practices. Children will inevitably like to protect their own side and get angry with those who criticize themselves. This not only affects family harmony, but also is not conducive to educating children, so that children can develop bad morals and behaviors such as willfulness, confusion between right and wrong, failure to listen to correct criticism, and frequent unreasonable troubles. Therefore, when educating children, family members should cooperate with each other and keep pace. Even if there are differences of opinion, it should not be exposed to children, otherwise it will have a negative impact on their physical and mental development, which parents should pay attention to when educating their children. Therefore, if family education is to be successful, it is very important for family members to adopt a consistent attitude when educating their children.
The cultivation of children's good moral character and behavior habits can not be achieved by telling the truth once and doing one or two exercises, but by constantly strengthening and consolidating after many exercises. Family members have the same attitude and requirements for children's education, which will encourage children to practice some virtues and behaviors many times, and constantly strengthen and consolidate them, thus forming good morality and habits.
Fourth, the principle of combining education with practical activities.
Family is the earliest classroom for children, and participating in family life is the earliest practical activity for children. Therefore, early education for children should run through family life, educate children to care for each other, be harmonious and polite, and cultivate children's good moral character of respecting, caring for and helping others imperceptibly. Family life practice plays an inestimable role in the formation of children's moral character and behavior habits. As someone said, family is the first vat, degree is the second vat, society is the third vat, and the first vat is the first coloring of life, all of which are colored on the basis of background color. Therefore, the coloring of family has a very important influence on the formation of a person's ideological and moral character and behavior habits, and even affects a person's life. Therefore, parents should pay special attention to combining their children's early education with the practice of family life, so as to create a good family education environment for their children and let them receive education and grow up healthily in a harmonious and civilized family environment. Young and ignorant children need to learn everything in life. Children are very curious and always want to know what they want to do from adults. Therefore, educating children through practical activities is an important way to achieve good educational results. For example, by educating children to dress and eat, cultivate their independent living ability, ask them to care for flowers and trees, not waste food, learn to do some minor housework and so on. Cultivate children's concept of cherishing the fruits of labor and enhancing excellent labor quality. Educating children through practical activities can effectively achieve the purpose of family education. An important practical activity of children in family life is games, play and entertainment. Entertainment is also an effective way to educate children. Children know the environment, adapt to life, learn knowledge, increase talents and promote intellectual and physical development through games, play and entertainment. If conditions permit, parents should try their best to create an environment for their children to carry out games and entertainment activities. Let children have fun, satisfy their curiosity and realize their imagination, so as to train their thinking and hands-on ability. For example, let children run on the ground with toy cars, or ride bicycles by themselves, or put small boards, iron pieces, plastic bottles, glass bottles, etc. In the water, it is very beneficial for children to observe carefully which floats on the water surface and which goes deep into the water, guide them to do things by themselves, inspire them to think, and educate them through practical activities such as playing games.
Five, the principle of the unity of example and teaching.
In the process of educating their children, parents should not only be good at reasoning, but also set an example for their children with their own actions. In other words, we should not only set an example, but also pay attention to teaching by example, so as to unify the two and make education achieve good results.
Children lack the social knowledge of life experience, can't distinguish right from wrong, and always need the guidance of parents. It is very necessary to explain the truth to children and tell them what they did wrong, what they should do and what they should not do. But it is not enough to be reasonable, and it is difficult to achieve the educational goal, because children can only speak for a few minutes or a little longer, and children can only listen to this kind of preaching with their ears, and what they hear is empty truth. However, parents' words and deeds are always present in children from morning till night. In front of them, children see concrete and vivid images with their eyes. Comparing the two, the latter is more influential than the former. Therefore, when educating their children, parents should not only pay attention to reasonable education, but also set an example for their children in terms of ideology, morality and behavior habits.
Parents' ideological morality and behavior habits play a subtle role in children. In family education, children should not only listen to their parents' reasonable education, but also pay attention to their parents' words and deeds and every move. If parents are virtuous, polite and caring for children, children will respect and fear their parents and follow their example. If parents tell their children clearly, the actual action is another matter. Naturally, children will not be convinced and it will be difficult to achieve the purpose of education. For example, some parents teach their children not to lie, but they lie to others in life, so it is hard to believe what children teach their parents.
Children often like to imitate adults. Parents have the longest contact with children, the greatest influence and the most imitation. In children's minds, parents are the most reliable people. Parents' words and deeds, manners and manners are often the code of conduct and role models for children, so parents' ideological morality and behavior habits have a great influence on children's development and growth. To this end, parents should strive to improve their own quality, set an example for their children, unify their words and deeds, and do a good job in family education, so that children can develop noble ideological and moral character and good behavior habits from an early age, and cultivate them into talents for socialist modernization with both ability and political integrity.
Six, care and strict requirements of the principle of combining
It is human nature for parents to care for their children. This kind of love is the emotional basis for cultivating children's good character and behavior. Without this kind of love, there is no education, and it is difficult to achieve good educational results. However, loving without teaching and lax management will naturally fail to achieve the purpose of education. Therefore, when educating their children, parents should pay attention to the combination of caring and strict requirements, so as to love without drowning and be strict without persistence.
(1) Love without drowning
Parents' care and love for their children should be based on the premise of being conducive to their physical and mental health. Without this premise, it is easy to run counter to their desire to succeed. Parents' love for their children should be rational and measured, and they should never spoil them, otherwise they will become the bane of their physical and mental deformities.
In real life, many parents have turned their love for their children into doting, especially the one-child families. Do grandparents and parents treat their children as? Little emperor? Blindly conniving, favoritism, justifying one's faults, the requirements for children are obedient and responsive. Not criticizing the bad morals and habits of educating children often covers up their weaknesses. Parents take care of everything, eat and dress, and parents do whatever their children ask them to do. Everything is child-centered, so that children can live a lazy life of eating, drinking and having fun, and develop a selfish, willful, bossy and arbitrary bad character and habit. If these bad habits are allowed to develop, the consequences will be unimaginable. Some people say that obeying children's pampering is the beginning of pushing children onto the unfortunate road. This is worth pondering by every parent.
There are different forms of doting, but the common feature of these parents is that they regard their children not as the future of the country and society, but as personal private property, forgetting the basic goal of cultivating their children into useful talents for socialist modernization. The result of doting can only be to harm the children, the country and society, but the parents bear the brunt and bear the consequences. Because parents' doting makes children form bad habits, it is difficult to discipline, and there are countless examples of harm to family and society.
Parents should pay attention to the following points in order to love their children from drowning:
First, parents should care and love their children rationally and properly. They should not only let their children feel the sincere love of their parents, but also let them feel the warmth of their families and stimulate their positive wishes. They should also make children care about their parents and other family members, and gradually ask them to do some self-help work and housework within their power. This is not only conducive to cultivating children's good moral character of loving labor and caring for the collective, but also conducive to cultivating children's intelligence and self-care ability.
Second, parents should correctly treat their children's requirements. Everyone has needs, which are manifold and often endless. Children's needs should be analyzed in detail, based on the actual economic situation of the family and the physical and mental health of the children, and they should not be obedient and responsive. Excessive satisfaction of children's needs can easily lead to children's excessive desires and develop insatiable habits. Once parents can't meet their children's needs, they will inevitably cause their children's dissatisfaction and be difficult to discipline. When their strong desires are not satisfied, they are easy to go astray, which is what every parent needs to pay attention to.
Third, in the case of family, try to meet the reasonable requirements of children. If a child asks to buy some necessary articles for children's painting, calligraphy and entertainment that are conducive to increasing knowledge, developing intelligence and enriching spiritual life, it should generally be met. If it is difficult for parents to do it at the moment, they should explain the reasons to their children. When educating their children, parents should not only actively create conditions to promote their physical and mental health, but also educate their children to pay attention to thrift and prevent them from developing the bad habit of extravagance and waste.
(2) Strict and lax.
Caring and strict requirements are two aspects of the unity of opposites in cultivating children's good morality and habits. I talked about how to care and love, and here I will talk about strict requirements.
Parents, is it strict with you? There are different understandings, some think? Strict? Is it? Awesome? Be kind to children, not give them a good face. Children can only be educated if they are afraid of their parents. Some people think? Strict? Even if you don't listen, you should beat and scold. Do you agree? No fighting, no talent? Statement. These understandings are all wrong, and it is difficult to take this approach to today's children.
If you abuse and reprimand your child easily, your child will be reluctant to get close to his parents. If children are far away from their parents, or they are neither respectful nor close to their parents, and even less willing to talk to their parents, it will be difficult to achieve good educational results. As for corporal punishment, what is it? Strict requirements? Fire and water are incompatible. Parents who often beat and scold their children can not only prevent them from correcting their mistakes, but also destroy their emotions and hearts, become indifferent, feel inferior, lack self-esteem, and even run away from home because they can't stand the beating and scolding of their parents. It can be seen that corporal punishment of children is only a manifestation of parents' lack of reason and helplessness, and it is impossible to meet strict requirements.
The strict requirements we are talking about are based on children's development level and age characteristics, and the premise is to achieve good educational results. What if? Strict? If you get the case, you will go to the opposite side. To this end, parents must follow the following points:
First of all, the requirements put forward by parents are reasonable, in line with the actual situation of children and conducive to their physical and mental health. It is ok to ask a four-year-old child to follow his parents as far as possible, but it is unreasonable to ask him to walk as fast and as far as his parents.
Secondly, the requirements put forward by parents must be appropriate and can be achieved by children through hard work. If the requirements are too high, children can't achieve it even if they work hard, which will make them lose confidence and fail to achieve educational results.
Thirdly, the requirements for children must be clear and specific, so that children can understand what to do and how to do it, and they can't be ambiguous, so that children are at a loss.
Finally, once parents make demands on their children, they should urge them to do it seriously. We shouldn't say that they don't keep their word, or they don't do it, but we must let them do it, otherwise the educational effect will not be achieved.