Frustration education is the most hurtful weapon for countless children to fall into self-doubt and self-denial.
Many parents don't realize that the shadow of childhood can't be repaired for a lifetime. Your careless words and harsh education methods will cause lifelong harm to children. "Depression" is just a small manifestation.
A child diagnosed with depression, the doctor stood in front of the child's bed, and the parents did not forget to belittle and attack the child. They don't know why children get sick and never reflect on themselves.
If there is such a way in the world to cultivate children into your ideal, would you like to try it?
An American psychologist once vowed that by training children and reducing their dependence on their parents, they can be trained to be anyone you want.
This view was sought after by parents in the United States in the 1920s, but the result was frightening: the psychologist's own three children all suffered from depression.
The boss studied hard, tried to solve his psychological problems by himself, and finally found that he could not get rid of the shadow and committed suicide;
The second child drank heavily all his life and was saved by countless suicides. His life is extremely difficult, and his children suffer from depression.
Lao San didn't commit suicide, but he didn't have a serious job and lived on government relief all his life.
How ironic is this result?
You think children don't need their parents' love the most, but it is because they lose their parents' love that they become depressed for life.
This is the children's goal. Is there a problem? No, it's a mistake in the way of education.
Jiang Wen, a famous director, once said in the program that he was a person with no self-confidence until he became an adult, because his mother pursued "education-bashing" and never only reprimanded him but did not encourage him.
After being admitted to Chinese Opera, Jiang Wen's first reaction was to share her joy with her mother. As a result, her mother said coldly, "Your clothes haven't been washed yet. Stop it."
After earning money, the first thing Jiang Wen did was to buy a house for his mother. As a result, her mother was not very happy.
Jiang Wen said that he didn't wait for any praise or recognition until his mother died.
I think Jiang Wen's mother must be very proud in her heart, but she didn't show her emotions because she was afraid that her children were too proud and didn't know how to be modest.
But she ignored the child's emotions. Which child doesn't want the affirmation and love of his parents? Parents' affirmation is the biggest motivation for their progress.
Is it really difficult to provide unconditional love to children?
Like Jiang Wen's mother and the education expert, many parents adhere to the principle that "the dutiful son is born under the stick, and the talented person is born under the frustration education", but constantly belittling and denying the children's efforts and treating them mercilessly like robots will not make them succeed.
This year, a candidate named Zhao Qichen became popular on the Internet: he was the last in his class from the first year of high school, and he entered Tsinghua with 705 points in the college entrance examination.
At first, he was too stressed to sleep, and his grades became more and more bleak. He finally survived because he had a strong backing: "My parents never blamed me or even said a word. On the contrary, every time I take an exam, I am inspired by my mother's hug and love, and my confidence is built. "
"Lifelong growth" means that everyone has two modes of thinking: fixation and growth. Different thinking modes make you have different mentality when dealing with success and frustration.
"Mechanical education" and "frustration education" will make children form fixed thinking. If children can't reach the expected goals set by their parents, they will think that they have lost their parents' love and become depressed and give up on themselves.
Only by giving children unlimited love and reasonable love can they develop their growth thinking and go further on the road of growth.
"Sick children have a sick home first".
The healing of all mental trauma is inseparable from love. How to accept unconditionally and accompany children's growth with love is the first lesson for parents to learn.
Do you support "frustration education" to discipline children? Welcome to leave a message in the comments section and share your parenting experience with us.