The TV series "Xiao Shede", which was broadcasted on the whole network, directly hit the reality and aroused the resonance of countless parents. Recently, a baby chicken father in Shanghai was so angry that he hit the wall and killed himself! The netizen exclaimed "understand! Good dad! "

In the era of "chicken baby", many new terms have been born, such as "chicken baby" and "phobia"-to describe parents' counseling work, just Du Like Jie, whose emotions are out of control in minutes, their blood pressure is rising, and even their lives are in danger. Parents themselves are becoming more and more puzzled, why raising a baby has to face such a high-risk job-accompanying the baby to do homework.

Give everyone a popular science:

Looking back when I was a child, we said, "That boy is a genius. He called me. The exam was blank and duck eggs rolled in." This is a poem that we used to play in primary school. I went to primary school in the 1990s. At that time, teachers hardly assigned homework after school. Sometimes, even if the teacher assigned homework, he didn't remember writing it himself. After school, he only remembers to play. Eagles catch chickens, play marbles, play with pictures, and so on. The primary school came in in this way. Every time I look back, I don't feel sorry, but I always feel a strong sense of warmth.

The competitive pressure of modern society makes more and more parents more willing to believe that "don't let children lose at the starting line". So that this starting line is getting earlier and earlier, I can't wait to benchmark the elite class from the beginning of prenatal education. Looking through the textbooks of the first grade of primary school now, there is no "population, upper, middle and lower …" as we used to. When we are young, we will know thousands of words. The list of new words that I worked hard to learn when I was a child is becoming more and more complicated, and I don't even know how to write those words. Tutoring the first-year homework really stumped a group of parents with higher education.

After all, is the problem of children not doing homework really a problem for parents? Children's problems? Teacher's question? Or is it a social problem?

Recently, videos that stipulate the time for primary and junior high school students to fall asleep at night and the amount of homework are also popular on the Internet. Nowadays, children really have too little sleep time. Any pupil will write his homework to 10. Especially for children who have just reached school age and are still in transition. On the one hand, parents are anxious about their children's habit cultivation, on the other hand, they have to overcome this weaning transition period with their children; On the other hand, if the child is really super obedient and completes his homework in an orderly way, parents should worry about whether the child will become a well-behaved, ambitious and uncreative person in the future. What kind of people will the future society need? Should we cultivate children's basic abilities? The answer is that different people have different opinions.

Old Chinese doctor, senior Internet enterprise executive, experienced, experienced, knowledgeable, knowledgeable and well-read.

Wang: The young second-born mother, a professional woman, has a gentle appearance and doesn't seem to hit the child very much.

Wen: The problem that children don't do their homework makes her very anxious.

Q: On the one hand, I feel that I don't have enough company and I owe my children. On the one hand, I am worried about the future development of my children and the pressure from outside.

In fact, the problem is more from the parents themselves. Children's failure to do homework is only a phenomenon, not a problem. Only when we think it is a problem will it become a so-called "problem".

Old Chinese medicine advocates: pay more attention to yourself, be happy with yourself, be true to your life, and don't let problems pester you.

Anxiety is like a cup in your hand. If you don't put it down, you can't pick up that cup of happiness.

The appearance of the world is the projection of your heart. If you want to get better, you must put your heart into that good state.

In fact, I really think so, so I believe in the psychology of old Chinese medicine practitioners.

"Western medicine" is a continuous entrepreneur known as "scientist", with a wide range of knowledge and high emotional intelligence, engaged in the research and development and promotion of scientific and technological products.

Methodology: Children's education needs the effective companionship of parents.

SOP (standardized operating procedure):

1. Understand children's learning difficulties, find out the reasons for not doing homework, and solve them in a targeted manner.

2. Cultivate children's time management skills. Such as gamification time management, tomato clock, setting rewards, making plans, etc.

3. Parent-child reading. Reading can help parents and children solve many problems and gain more basic learning ability. This is a habit that must be cultivated.

4. Parents' own learning and growth. Parents should study and increase their knowledge; Learning, positive discipline, non-violent communication, etc. When they grow up, parents often blame their children for their anxiety. In fact, anxiety about children's homework is often not related to children, but related to the lack of children's own growth.

Guide children with the power of example instead of nagging and preaching every day. Children tend to imitate adults' behavior imperceptibly, instead of doing what adults say.

Summary: Example is not as good as example, and example is not as good as environment teaching. Parents' vision and mind are the "environment" for children's growth.

Rural folk prescription: know yourself first, children don't need your care.

Village Representative: A voluntary female entrepreneur, calling herself "Queen", raised her children to be independent from childhood. Now her daughter is 22 years old and is studying politics and economics in London.

Confident and domineering, the queen is bold and provocative. She tells the story of educating children. In elementary school, children also dragged their homework, so she drew a line with them. Homework is their own business and should be handled by her. No matter what the result is, let the children face it and accept the result.

In her words, parents nowadays are sometimes "bitchy", and the anxiety of accompanying their children to do homework is actually asking for it. In fact, as long as parents trust their children enough and give them a sense of security, children will be more independent and disciplined.

The queen said a word in place:

Parents' anxiety about their children often comes from their dissatisfaction with themselves. Whether it's figure, appearance, career, knowledge, income or whatever, parents must have their own anxiety.

In short, when live high is satisfied, he won't be anxious about his children.

The representative of the actual combat faction of the military doctor, the military father: Liu Mao, the village head, is regarded as a "walking ruler" in people's eyes, with strong principles. Whenever you are soft, you must have a teleprompter designed by yourself-"There is empathy here".

Military dad is a master of rehabilitation. His greatness lies in that he recorded the "history of fighting and tears" of his eldest daughter's personal tutoring homework in the past three years, which is very worthy of our joint research and self-reflection. (If you want to know the taste, you can leave a message or a private message. )

Military dad concluded: After three years of tutoring, children's ability to complete homework gradually improved. From worrying that children can't finish their homework to worrying that their foundation is not strong; From the initial self-confidence, it is good to be admitted now. Parents' mentality is changing and growing. (In fact, Dabao of the village head's family is excellent: as the name implies, he is very literary, loves to learn, has the spirit of exploration, and has a good self-discipline under the influence of his father. He is definitely the best among his peers. Of course, I think I get beaten a lot. )

1. Let go of self-obsession, anxiety, self-acceptance and acceptance of children. Heart disease needs a cardiologist.

All beings are suffering, but they don't know the truth-everything is empty.

2. Pull away from yourself and let the problem return to the problem itself, so as to suit the remedy to the case.

3. Principle: Parent-child relationship is always more important than children's homework.

Express one's gratitude formally

This article was created by one-sixth of the community and by Jin Xin (police tactical unit).

White hat: Zhao Dan

Red hat: Zhang He

Black hat: Zhou Xiaohui

Yellow hat: Cao Zhibin, Guo Shuai

Green hat: Why? Di hongying

? Six-dimensional thinking-release your thinking energy