One is that parents do everything for their children, and the other is that parents pay attention to stick education and force their children to become better.

Many parents often have a headache for their children's education and want to communicate with them well, but he will make the same mistake next time. If he does this, it will not only hurt his body, but also hurt his heart.

Parents yell at their children and then ask them if they know what they did wrong. This kind of education is just a vicious circle. My girlfriend took the children to my colleague's house two days ago to play. My colleague's child is as old as my girlfriend's. The baby at a colleague's house is very happy to see the children coming to play. She always greets her girlfriend and takes out many snacks to entertain her friends. When her best friend saw her child hiding behind her, she was very timid. She asked him to say hello, and the child didn't want to talk. The girlfriend couldn't help but get angry: "Look at the way you are hiding behind. I am still a little girl, but I am much braver than your brother. If you don't come out again, I'll hit you. "

The child still doesn't talk and has been hiding behind his girlfriend. At this time, my girlfriend was even more angry. She pulled the child out directly and spanked him several times. The child was scared by the fight between his girlfriends and kept crying. When my best friend told me this, she kept talking about the children's problems: children were not like this when they were young, they were very lively, but they were particularly naughty and always made mistakes. After each beating and cursing, the children will restrain themselves a little, but in a few days, they will "show their true colors." It seems inevitable to be criticized and scolded by parents after a child is born. Whether the child really made a mistake or not, parents always yell at the child in the name of education, but is this really good?

1, I am in a bad mood and take it out on my children.

Once parents are in a bad mood, they will vent their anger on their children, and children will become their punching bag, which is also the most fundamental reason for parents to yell.

Children are lively and active by nature, and sometimes they often make some naughty actions in the eyes of adults, which makes adults crazy. In addition, the pressure of life is very great now, and parents themselves are facing great competition at work. They will lose their temper when they see their children bothering them. Maybe they don't realize how loud their voice is, so they use this method again and again. Parents may feel that they are reasoning with their children, but this will only make them afraid.

2. It played a short-lived role.

Children's character is naughty, especially in the early stage of rebellion. For example, when the baby is more than one year old or three years old, this age is the most naughty and rebellious time. Even if you tell him more truth, they don't seem to understand, and sometimes they will go against you.

Parents often beat and scold their children directly. After being scolded by parents, they will become very clever on the surface, so parents often use this method to educate their children. But when their children grow up and understand in the future, this method will only have a negative effect on them.

Step 3 become a habit

Many parents will find that when children make mistakes, they seriously educate them. Children never seem to listen, and only shouting loudly will attract their attention.

Therefore, parents often adopt this method, which will become a habit after a long time. The influence of this habit is that children know how their parents will react when they make mistakes, so they will sit still and wait for their parents to yell, but afterwards they will go in one ear and out the other, or retaliate against their parents.

No matter what reason parents yelled at their children at first, or whether they regretted it later, the harm caused to their children has already formed.

1, personality becomes inferior.

Many children feel scared and helpless after being scolded by their parents. They are too scared to say what they originally wanted to say. They are afraid to cry if they want to, so they just stay there and don't know what to do. Without a sense of security, courage will become less and less, resistance will weaken when hit, and personality will become extremely timid, inferior and sensitive.

2. Emotion becomes unstable.

For children, parents are their closest and most trusted people. If parents don't respect them, children will have a sense of self-doubt and become extremely unstable. If you stay in such a family environment for a long time, your child's personality will become weak and irritable, and even more serious mental illness will occur.

Perhaps parents' scolding can play a temporary role in making children obedient, but parents must not think it is useful. Once their children enter the rebellious period, they will go against their parents.

3. The parent-child relationship is broken.

From the psychological point of view, yelling is actually a kind of violence, and this kind of verbal violence will cause mental harm to people. When parents make a hullabaloo about, children will have a very scared and nervous reaction, and their brain thinking will temporarily stagnate, thus being divorced from the real environment. Children who are often scolded by their parents will lose trust in their parents. Although unconvinced, I have long been reluctant to refute, and even have emotional communication obstacles. From then on, their personalities will become withdrawn.

This will not only affect children's childhood, but also make children hate their parents when they grow up. Psychologically, this stage is called "hostile period". It is said that parents are children's first teachers, and their words and deeds have a great influence on children. I believe that most parents yell at their children at first, not to condemn them, but to solve the problem.

1, learning emotional management

Parents' emotions will affect their children's growth.

If parents are grumpy, in fact, children will be cultivated into grumpy people subconsciously. If parents are calm in life, then children will become gentle.

Although it is not easy for parents to manage their emotions well, as parents, we should first set an example and lead by example.

If parents feel that their emotions are about to get out of control, it is recommended to stay away from their children first, let them calm down, and never let them see your out-of-control side.

2. Think from the child's perspective.

Psychologist Piaget once said that children can only see the world from their own perspective. In a narrow sense, children's perspective is what the eyes can see, while what adults see with their eyes is different from that of children.

For example, if we stand under the same tree with our children, the children may only see the roots, while we adults can see the leaves. Then in the same world, the two perspectives are completely different, and this perspective can also be placed on the same thing, and children and parents cannot reach an agreement.

Therefore, parents should look at the problem from their children's point of view, build a bridge of communication with their children, and don't impose our ideas on them.

3. Tell your children your expectations.

Children's comprehension ability and understanding are far inferior to those of adults. If we don't explain it clearly to our children, what mistakes they have made, or what makes us feel uncomfortable, our children will never know what their problems are. If parents yell at their children without explaining the reasons clearly, not only will the problem not be solved, but it will have many negative effects. Children are not unreasonable. They need their parents to patiently explain to them in order to intuitively feel their parents' expectations.

Parents should let their children know what we want and what we expect of them, instead of letting them always guess what we think. This is actually very important for family education and solving parent-child conflicts. For the parents of the older generation, they believe in stick education, and the dutiful son is born under the stick, so they are very strict with their children. As long as they have problems, they will be severely reprimanded.