Now that I am a mother myself, thinking about the feeling of being dominated by fear when I was a child, I secretly vowed in my heart that I would not use "violence" against my children. I've been trying. When my sister was young, although she was a girl, she was also very naughty. On the one hand, she is the first child in the family; On the other hand, my husband and I both think that we should let the child be free and give her enough space to grow up freely (in fact, we are both lazy and don't know how to take care of the child [giggle]). Without help and guidance, I slowly groped for ways to take care of my baby. I can't cook, but experts say that children should have a rich diet, or they will be picky eaters when they are older, so I bought a recipe and came back to learn to cook. It is often a long-term effort. After taking a sip, you said it was exciting but not exciting. When I am old, I can climb everywhere, so I can only put everything high. There is nothing in the living room but a sofa, only a table, a coffee table and a TV cabinet. Later, I was able to walk and climb high with a chair, and the destructive power increased geometrically. She will take out the jar full of red beans, soybeans and mung beans and pour it all over the floor; Will take out the sand paintings I hid in the bookcase and spread them all over the painting table; Dump the garbage in the trash can on the ground, then sweep the floor with a broom ... something like that can be listed for several pages. Sometimes it breaks me down. Every time I want to get angry or shoot, I can't bear to part with her innocent face and clear eyes. If we can clean up together, I will take her to help me collect beans. Picking beans is just a game, just to exercise her finger thinning ability. In this way, my sister spent every day safely.
Now, my sister is six and my brother is two. My sister is still an ignorant child, and occasionally loses her temper, but through communication, she knows that we understand her. Moreover, my brother has just started to be naughty and often makes my sister angry. Nevertheless, the two brothers and sisters have a good time together every day. When the mother needs help, the elder sister will take the initiative to take care of the younger brother. She will play with her brother, protect him when he is in danger, tell him not to play with this danger, show him when he can't eat well, and comfort him when he cries ... Of course, my sister will also make trouble with her brother, so I won't say anything about the destructive power. And I, in addition to enduring all kinds of troubles they bring as always, occasionally lose my temper and enjoy the happiness they bring me. We have too much uncertainty about the future. I don't know what my education method is, and I don't know what kind of people my children will become in the future, but I am willing to give them enough love.
In my opinion, the "stick education" of "beating is kissing and scolding is love" and "no one can succeed without beating" is a simple and rude behavior, and it is not even a way of education. At best, a paper tiger pasted by parents will be punctured sooner or later. Imagine how a child who is beaten all day can never learn to beat others, and how a child who is scolded all day can become friendly and confident. I hope that parents and friends will put down their sticks, and more importantly, put down their sticks in their hearts and give their children a world full of warmth and goodwill!