1, the first kiss I will always remember

On Wednesday afternoon, after class, the head teacher asked me to go to her office.

I vaguely understand what she wants to say. Sure enough, she told about her classmates who fell in love a few years ago. It is absolutely incorrect to educate me about puppy love with their experience of falling grades and failing in the college entrance examination. From the perspective of being a woman, I especially emphasize that girls are more emotional. Whether psychologically or physically, puppy love will do more harm to girls than boys.

She talked seriously for an hour, but I kept silent.

As soon as I got out of the office, I forgot what she said in the trash can. It's not that she is unreasonable, but that I understand what she says better than she does. She underestimated my mind. three

Zhang Jun has also been talked to by the head teacher. He must be trying to persuade him to break up. But we all pretended that nothing had happened and didn't even bother to communicate this problem.

Teacher, for me and Zhang Jun, is very annoying, but it does not constitute any deterrent.

Zhang Jun and I are still puppy love. I have the aura of the first grade. Zhang Jun is the top four in our class. The head teacher and his brother-in-law know each other. The teaching methods adopted by the teachers are gentle, but they are still disturbed. Every week, they are invited to talk in the office. I want to tell the teacher that if the study is affected, it is not because of puppy love, but because of you.

After the mid-term exam, I am the oldest, and Zhang Jun is twenty-eight.

I'm relieved. Now the teacher should not say in our ears that puppy love affects our study, right?

On Saturday night, Zhang Jun asked me to go for a walk by the river.

Yang Shulin on both sides of the river bank is dyed red in autumn. At first glance, it is golden, with heavy glory.

We sat on the bridge and watched the river flow under it.

Zhang Jun gave me an old tin biscuit box. I opened it and found many beautiful stones in it.

I looked at him doubtfully, and he smiled and said, "Late birthday present."

I couldn't hold it any longer, and I sipped my lips and laughed. "I thought you forgot this year."

She said, "I won't forget it."

"Why are there so many stones? Didn't you say you would only give me one a year? "

He grabbed a few stones and let them fall through his fingers, making a tinkling sound. "Over the years, I will pick up stones when I like you, and throw them away when I don't want to like you. I still remember when I was in junior high school, I saw you dancing with Xu Xiaobo again. I ran here that night and lost all the stones. While throwing stones, tell yourself that I don't like you anymore. "

The past is vivid and clear as yesterday, but it has been more than three years in a blink of an eye.

I said with a wry smile, "That night, I was under the bridge."

"Huh?" He doesn't understand.

"The night you threw a stone, I just sat there and watched you. I didn't go home until you left, and my dad scolded me for coming back late. " I pointed to the shadow beside the dock where I was sitting.

He looked at me with his head sideways, and the expression on his face seemed sad and funny. I don't think I am much better than him. It took us more than 700 days to get there from under the bridge.

He looked down at the river and said, "I always thought you hated me." But then you helped me hide my gun. I thought you couldn't do these things for everyone. When you refused to give me the gun, I was worried on the surface, but I was very happy in my heart. I feel like you care about me, or I wouldn't have checked the conviction rules for possession of guns. Then you asked me questions, and I thought, do you like me a little? But you and Xu Xiaobo have been together, so I asked you questions. I was so happy when you said you didn't like Xu Xiaobo. Later, I was detained at the police station for questioning. Every time I am particularly difficult, I am afraid and happy when I think of you. "

He was not the only one who was sad at that time. I whispered, "every time I see you with someone else, it's especially uncomfortable." The skirt I wore when I danced with Xiaobo that day was red because of you ... Then who always wears a red skirt. "

"Why didn't you talk to me then?" Zhang Jun suddenly rubbed my head a few times, and then held my arm hard, very hard, very hard, so hard that I hurt. I knew he just wanted me to feel this pain.

I felt the pain he gave me in silence and joy. He sighed and let me go.

His eyes were so sad that my heart ached and I leaned on his shoulder. For the first time, I said very gently and humbly, "Let's not quarrel any more. If you don't want me to associate with Shen, I'll alienate him. "

He stared at me with a sad but gentle smile: "Sophia Kao, if only you would stay the same."

I thought he was talking about my feelings. He lowered his eyes and said shyly, "I will always like you and never change."

He suddenly lowered his head and touched my lips gently.

My body tensed, my heart was tense and expecting. I closed my eyes without turning my head, with a hint of encouragement.

He has been hesitant and nervous, afraid to take the next step. I waited a long time, but he didn't move. I turned my head in disappointment. My eyes were still closed in embarrassment, but he bowed his head and kissed my cheek. I followed his direction, my lips crossed his face, and I took the initiative to kiss his cheek. In the tense skin friction, two people's lips finally met together. He gave me a tentative kiss, but left at once. I didn't turn around, I just grabbed his arm. He seemed to suddenly make up his mind, suddenly lowered his head, and finally really kissed me and gently moved my lips with the tip of his tongue.

Because of my clumsiness, the kiss was not as touching as described in the novel. Two people often touch their teeth with their tongues, but we are still very involved.

After he finished, I still closed my eyes, and I had no strength and leaned softly against him. He held my hand tightly and said, "Sophia Kao, I'm sorry, I've always been a very bad person."

I buried my face in his neck and whispered, "Well, you are a big bad guy." However, I like big bad guys. "

Zhang Jun murmured, "It is said that girls will always remember their first kiss. I don't know if it's true. "

I smiled and said, "You can ask me after ten years."

He looked at me silently and smiled, but his smile was erratic.

The late autumn evening breeze was chilly, so he took off his coat and put it on my shoulder.

I was in his clothes, holding his hand silently, and my mood was quiet for a long time. I felt that quarreling was boring before, and everything else became unimportant. All I know is that I like him very much. As long as he likes me, I will be very happy.

He has been sitting in silence and holding my hand tightly, which makes me feel particularly warm.

He suddenly asked me, "Have you decided what major to study in the future?"

"This period of time, light busy quarreling angry, where there is time to think about this? Do you have time to think about it? " I'm half coquetry and half complaining.

"I have thought a lot, especially about your future."

"What? Tell me about it. "

He gave me a big hug and said with a smile, "Can't we talk about this tonight?"

Obviously, you brought up this topic yourself. I smiled and was filled with joy. I only have love for him, and I gently nodded: "All right."

He held my hand, looked up at the sky and said with a smile, "I'll tell you a joke."

In his jokes, I laughed and laughed, while he kept looking at me.

From Monday to Friday, Zhang Jun didn't come to see me and went home with me.

Since last weekend. After two people talked on the bridge, my mind became peaceful, I was no longer so worried, and I didn't pay attention to these details.

Classes were normal during the day on Saturday, but Zhang Jun didn't come to see me, so I had to go to see him after school.

He and Huang Wei are sitting by the fountain under the teaching building, joking. Huang Wei turned a blind eye to me, and I pretended not to see her. I only said to Zhang Jun, "What time shall we meet tonight?"

Zhang Jun looked at me silently for a while: "Didn't you see Tong Yunzhu?"

"What's the matter? Is she looking for me? "

Zhang Jun shook his head and was silent for a long time: "I have something to do tonight."

I don't want to show any disappointment in front of Huang Wei. I smiled and nodded: "OK, I'll go first."

As I walked, I began to get angry. After being angry for a few minutes, I reminded myself that I just said last weekend that I wouldn't be angry casually, and my mood gradually calmed down. Maybe Zhang Jun just had something important, but she forgot to tell me at the moment.

Tong Yunzhu caught up with me panting and handed me a letter: "Why did you just disappear after school?" Zhang Jun asked me to give it to you after school. "

I am surprised that he has never written to me. Why did he suddenly give me a letter?

I just want to find a quiet place and finish reading the letter without being disturbed. I ran to the river, threw my schoolbag on the ground and opened the letter.

Luo Qiqi: "

As soon as I saw the beginning, my heart sank and I watched it again in disbelief.

Luo Qiqi:

I wanted to tell you last week, but I really didn't know how to say it, so I had to write.

When I was in elementary school, I always felt guilty about you. Every time I see you silent, I want to do something for you. At that time, you really looked like a little rabbit, or the most easily frightened rabbit. Every time I'm with you, I'm nervous and careful, for fear of scaring you away.

Memories of primary school are not good, but because of Miss Gao, all unhappiness becomes irrelevant. No teacher has ever been so kind to me as Miss Gao. When every adult thinks I'm hopeless, only Miss Gao is willing to praise me. Without Mr. Gao, I would be completely bad in the street. In the summer vacation of grade five, I went to listen to Teacher Gao every day, and then I went home with you. No alcohol, tobacco, no fighting, and a lot of exercise. Obviously it's not fun at all, but I'm very happy, very happy every day, and I'm looking forward to going to school.

Once, the two of us played in the river. I lay on a big stone and slept. You keep out the sun with a cool hat, and I'll pretend to sleep on purpose to see how long you can last. You have been holding it, which makes me really embarrassed to pretend to sleep. Do you remember? I must have forgotten. At that time, you were too stupid to say anything. As long as Miss Gao and I look at you, you will stutter, and you won't say you know how to do the problem.

After junior high school, I have more and more friends, and my teachers are also very kind to me. I don't know why, but I always think of the summer vacation in the fifth grade. We listened to Mr. Gao's lecture together. You solved the problem quickly, but you couldn't explain it clearly. You want me to help you explain it. You keep nodding when I'm talking, and you're not afraid of your neck pain. I will also think of you holding a cool hat to protect me from the sun.

Later, I often thought that if we didn't go to the same middle school, maybe it would only be a wonderful memory, and you would only be my regretful and happy memory. However, we are in the same school, we can see you every day, as well as karaoke bars and dance halls, and we can meet you wherever we go.

I'm afraid you're going bad with Xu Xiaobo. I'm worried that silly you can't handle those hooligans, and I feel sorry for your stubborn opposition to the cornucopia in the stupidest way. But instead of getting worse, you are getting better and better. From talking to people, I always bow my head and stand in front of thousands of people, giving speeches and winning prizes; From stuttering when you are nervous, you can't even speak clearly, to representing the school in the debate. I have participated in each of your speech and debate competitions; I also read your blackboard newspaper, and I recorded a clip of you on TV news. Watching you become more confident and happier bit by bit, I am really happy for you.

I always thought that all this was because I had done something wrong to you, because I felt guilty, so I especially hoped that you would have a good life. When I suddenly found out that I was jealous of Xu Xiaobo, I knew I had fallen in love with you. I don't even know when this happened.

When I was a freshman, you were in the next class, and I saw you almost every day. You never regard discipline as zero, and you always like to be late. Everyone has been seated in the classroom before you ring the bell to go to the classroom. I took advantage of the monitor's strength and occupied the best position. I like to see you at that time, standing with your head held high, strutting with your head held high, with your ponytail swinging happily behind your head. You exude confidence, like a fighter. No matter what lies ahead, you will hold your head high. Every time I see you, I feel like I have a lot of strength.

You often lament Mr. Ke's lectures because you are late, but you still go your own way. You are late again, and the teacher didn't let you into the classroom. I saw you absorbed in the scenery outside the window, dipping your fingers in water and drawing on the window glass. Obviously, you enjoy being kicked out of the classroom by the teacher, and even people who look at you will feel happy. But I even thought to myself that you'd better be punished by the teacher often, so that I can often see you in class.

At that time, I wanted to tell you that I liked you every day, but when I secretly escorted you home, your name was "Xiaobo". When I thought that Song Peng wanted you to express his love, you brought the love letter back to Song Peng in public, and I got cold feet.

Because of the summer camp, I finally got a chance to really get close to you. I played countless tricks to catch up with you. Every day with you, I am extremely surprised and uneasy. I'm always afraid that I'm not good enough for you to like.

Probably because I have known you since I was a child, I have always had a little you in my heart. I have been trying to protect and take care of you, but you have grown up, not only grown up, but also stronger and better than the average person. I am just an ordinary boy in front of you, and you don't need my protection and care at all.

When I was with you for the first time, I was ecstatic and secretly vowed to make you happy forever, but now I find that I didn't do it, and I can't.

I used to love you very much, but those feelings have been exhausted in countless trivial contradictions and repeated quarrels.

I've been thinking about it for a long time, and I think breaking up is the best ending for you and me. You will meet an excellent boy in the future, and he will make you strut forever.

Zhang Jun

I didn't cry, and I didn't feel bad. I don't believe this is true.

I put the letter into my pocket at random, put my schoolbag on my back and went home calmly, but I put down my schoolbag, cheated my mother and ran away from home again.

I went to Zhang Jun's house to find him, called Zhen Gongzi to ask about his whereabouts, and went to his usual place to find him. I don't know what I'm thinking, except that I want to see him.

I searched all night, I searched home, school, roller skating rink, karaoke bars, dance halls ... but I couldn't find him.

I went downstairs to his house and sat at the table beside the flower bed waiting for him.

It's past eleven o'clock at night, and he hasn't come home yet. I still waited, without considering how my parents would handle my lateness. It was not until twelve o'clock that a familiar figure appeared under the dim street lamp.

He walked slowly with his hands in his pockets and his head down.

"Zhang Jun."

He turned around and looked at me stupefied, never thinking that I was still here after twelve o'clock.

I walked up to him, not wanting to cry, and tried to smile: "I read your letter, and I want to know if you are serious?"

He nodded slowly: "Seriously."

"Is there really no chance of recovery?" I admire myself for making such a logical statement.

"There are still half a year before the college entrance examination. Concentrate on your studies and don't force yourself to accommodate me."

"I like you, you know? No matter what I do, I will. I didn't force myself. "

He was silent for a while, looked away and said, "But I don't like you anymore." He seemed afraid that I wouldn't believe him, so he said, "I am very unhappy with you." After a long time, no matter how much I like it, it will be consumed. "

I can't breathe in pain, just like the house that has been carefully maintained in my heart is crashing down, as if my whole heart is going to break into powder, but I have a strange smile on my face. Maybe this is just a habitual reaction for so many years. The more I get hurt, the more I have to hide it with a smile.

He said, "I'll take you home."

We walked silently, and I stumbled on the steps when we crossed the familiar bridge. He hugged me, and the physical contact made me suddenly forget my self-esteem and pride. I grabbed his hand and asked him almost imploringly, "Can we not break up?" No matter what, I am willing to change, you tell me, I will change. "

He stared at me silently with nostalgia in his eyes, but just when I thought he would agree, he pulled out his hand: "You can't turn around for a while now. Have a good sleep tonight, and tomorrow you'll know it's no big deal. "

My pride and reason don't allow me to say anything more, but my fragility and feelings don't want to. I grabbed his fingertips, hoping that he would be soft-hearted, but he was stronger and more determined. Finally, he took out his hand and walked away from me.

He walked in front and I walked behind, and their fingertips kept a long distance.

I suddenly remembered the story he told me about his quitting smoking. He started smoking in the second grade of primary school until the third grade. He wants to be a heavy smoker and smoke at least one pack of cigarettes every day. When he was a freshman, he decided to be a normal student and began to quit smoking. It is very uncomfortable, and friends around him often deliberately seduce him and give him cigarettes, but he said that since he has made up his mind, he must stick to it and get through the most difficult days, and everything will be fine. Sure enough, after the worst weeks, he had no desire to smoke.

I think this time, he is also determined to quit me.

When I went downstairs, I refused to go upstairs and stood all the time, but he turned to go: "I'm going home." This is the first time he didn't see me go upstairs and called me with a smile.

I was ashamed of my reluctance, so I ran into the stairs at once, but I just rushed to the second floor, thinking that this was the last time he sent me home. From then on, he will never appear in my life again. I feel like a knife, bent over, and I can hardly breathe in pain. All my self-esteem was gone, so I rushed downstairs again.

He has gone far, and his figure has become extremely thin under the street lamp.

Zhang Jun! '

All my feelings melted in heartbreaking tears. I hope he can understand how sad I am at the moment, how sad I am, and how much I hope he can turn back.

It seems that he didn't even hear me call him, and he still walked. But I know he heard, because his steps stopped.

I kept staring at him, and he didn't look back.

I didn't climb upstairs until he disappeared for a long time. My parents were very angry and asked me where I had been. I rushed into the bedroom and locked the door.

Mom and dad kept scolding me, but everything seemed to leave me. My body sits here, but my soul doesn't know where it is.

Gradually, the voice became quiet, and I was the only one sitting in the dark.

When I remembered to look at my watch, it was already three in the morning.

I didn't wash my face or brush my teeth. I just lay down, but I couldn't sleep at all. I thought from tomorrow on, Zhang Jun had nothing to do with me. I feel as sick and nauseous as in the middle of the year. It seemed that I was going to throw up soon, so I ran to the bathroom, but I didn't eat dinner at all. I couldn't throw up, so I squatted on the ground.

After a night of tossing, I didn't sleep at all, and it will soon be half past six. As usual, the alarm clock rang without emotion, reminding me to recite English.

It seems that I finally found something to do in a broken world. I took out my English book, locked myself on the balcony, shouted at the top of my lungs, and read English crazily, but I didn't know if I remembered it in my mind.

After getting up, my mother wanted to continue teaching me about going home last night, but she found that I had studied hard on the balcony and she didn't say anything.

Mother made an omelet and heated the milk. I have no appetite. My mother asked me, "What's the matter? You must have breakfast, or you will have no strength all day. "

I didn't want her to see anything strange, so I picked up the bowl and forced myself to start eating breakfast.

At breakfast, my sister and mother haggled over how much pocket money to give her this month. My head was blank, my ears were buzzing, and I couldn't hear what they were saying clearly, but my mother asked me, but I could answer as usual.

My mother asked me, "Are you still going out to find your classmates this afternoon?" I always go to see Zhang Jun on weekends.

Suddenly, my tears fell and I didn't even have time to hide. I immediately lowered my head, raised the bowl to my face, pretended to drink milk, and covered my face with the bowl, but I clearly saw that my tears fell into the milk drop by drop and rippled on the smooth milky white.

In a trance, I heard a voice calmly say "don't go out", so far away and strange that it didn't sound like my own voice at all.

All day, I held a book and studied tirelessly, but from 6: 30 in the morning to 10 in the evening, I only read one page.

At night, I lie in bed and tell myself that no matter who leaves in this world, I will still live. I'm in pain now. A year later, I will completely forget the pain now. Ten years later, when people mention Zhang Jun's name, it will take me a long time to remember who he is.

Everything will pass, everything will pass!

After repeated self-persuasion, I finally stayed up until dawn to go to school.

When Yang Jun saw me, he was surprised and asked, "Did you stay up all night studying hard? Why is your face so ugly? "

"Well, do the problem at three or four."

Yang Jun was greatly stimulated and immediately began to study hard.

I know that before long, the news that Zhang Jun and I broke up will spread all over the school, and there will be many pairs of eyes watching me. My self-esteem will not allow me to be decadent because of lovelorn love. All day, I forced myself to study, even though the efficiency was almost inefficient.

After Zhang Jun dumped me, his confidante Huang Wei accompanied him home every day.

I always knew that Huang Wei liked him, but Zhang Jun was very slow. He always thought that Huang Wei and he were pure friends. I don't know what his relationship with Bo Huang is now, but it's true that they are dating. All the students began to say that Zhang Jun's new girlfriend is Huang Wei.

My fears have come true. I became one of Zhang Jun's ex-girlfriends, and everyone turned to sympathize with me and gloated.