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The concept of etiquette
The meaning of etiquette
Ancient etiquette
The function of etiquette
table manners
Campus etiquette
Etiquette ―― a necessity that cannot be ignored.
Instrument etiquette
The concept of etiquette
The meaning of etiquette
Ancient etiquette
The function of etiquette
table manners
Campus etiquette
Etiquette ―― a necessity that cannot be ignored.
Instrument etiquette
Sitting etiquette
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The concept of etiquette
Etiquette refers to the formation of people in social communication due to historical traditions, customs, religious beliefs, the trend of the times and other factors, which is not only recognized by people, but also observed by people. It is the sum total of various codes of conduct and norms aimed at establishing harmonious relations and meeting communication requirements. In a word, etiquette is a code of conduct that people should abide by together in social communication activities.
From the perspective of personal cultivation, etiquette can be said to be the external expression of a person's inner cultivation and quality.
From the perspective of communication, etiquette can be said to be an art, a way of communication, or a communication method suitable for interpersonal communication. It is a customary practice to show respect and friendship in interpersonal communication.
From the perspective of communication, etiquette can be said to be a skill of mutual communication in interpersonal communication.
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The meaning of etiquette
Telling the truth, the new social system and value system are not only unacceptable, but also must be resolutely abandoned for only maintaining the feudal hierarchical etiquette system, especially those backward red tape. Since the Revolution of 1911 completely denied the feudal system for thousands of years, with the fundamental change of social values, the ceremony has also been given a brand-new modern significance.
If the traditional ceremony is a social code of conduct covering all systems, laws and morals, then today's so-called ceremony is only about the etiquette and etiquette forms of related activities, which is also the main category to be discussed in my group of topics.
Etiquette is a process of self-discipline and respect for others in interpersonal communication with certain and established procedures and methods. It involves dressing, communication, communication, emotional intelligence and so on. From the perspective of personal cultivation, etiquette can be said to be the external expression of a person's inner cultivation and quality. From the perspective of communication, etiquette can be said to be an art, a way of communication, or a communication method suitable for interpersonal communication. Showing respect and friendliness is a common practice in interpersonal communication. From the perspective of communication, etiquette can be said to be a skill of mutual communication in interpersonal communication. If classified, it can be roughly divided into five branches: government etiquette, business etiquette, service etiquette, social etiquette and foreign etiquette. But the so-called five subjects, because etiquette is a comprehensive subject, are relative. The etiquette content of each branch is mixed with each other, and most of the etiquette content is roughly the same.
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Ancient etiquette
China has been a country of etiquette since ancient times. For China people, etiquette can more often reflect a person's education and taste. People who really understand etiquette will not only pay attention to etiquette norms on one or a few specific occasions, because those emotional and formulaic details have already penetrated into the bone marrow and soaked in the blood of spiritual experience.
So whenever and wherever, we should treat people in the most appropriate way. At this time, "ceremony" has become the most important part of our lives. Etiquette is an art in interpersonal relationship and a bridge between people. Etiquette is an agreement that must be observed in interpersonal relationships, and it is a conventional form, that is, a conventional practice in interpersonal communication.
Etiquette team plays an active role in regulating people's social behavior, coordinating interpersonal relationships and promoting the development of human society.
China is an ancient civilization with a long history. For thousands of years, it has created splendid culture, formed noble moral standards and complete etiquette norms, and is called "the country with ancient civilization and etiquette" by the world. This can be concluded from etiquette. The essence of the whole East Asia and Southeast Asia culture is to inherit Chinese civilization, which is proof. China has a civilization history of 5,000 years, and is known as "the country of etiquette". China people are also famous for their politeness. Etiquette civilization, as an important part of China traditional culture, has a wide and far-reaching impact on the social and historical development of China, and its content is very rich. Etiquette covers a wide range and permeates almost every aspect of ancient society. "Li" and "Li" in ancient China are actually two different concepts. "Rite" is a system, a rule and a social consciousness. "One" is the concrete expression of "Li" and a set of systematic and complete procedures based on the provisions and contents of "Li". In ancient China, etiquette was derived from the clan system and the hierarchical relationship between nobles and the lower classes in order to meet the needs of the society at that time, so it had the characteristics and limitations of that era. Today, modern etiquette is very different from ancient etiquette. We must abandon the etiquette norms that serve the exploiting classes and focus on the traditional civilized etiquette that still has positive and universal significance today, such as respecting the elderly, respecting the virtuous, being polite to others, and being neat and tidy. , and to transform and inherit. This is of modern value for cultivating good personal qualities, coordinating harmonious interpersonal relationships, shaping civilized social atmosphere and building socialist spiritual civilization. Now try to describe it as follows:
First, respect the elderly. From primitive society to feudal society, the political and ethical relationship between people is linked by the blood relationship between clan and family. Therefore, respect our ancestors in the family and respect our elders in the society. Because the ancient society of China respected the rule of courtesy and benevolent governance, respecting the virtuous became a historical requirement. Mencius said, "When Jie Jun is in power, there will be celebration" (Note: "Mencius? Under the accusation "). Celebration is a kind of reward. This ancient traditional etiquette has played an important role in the formation of warm interpersonal relations and orderly and harmonious ethical relations, both in the past and now. When it comes to respecting the elderly, this is a major feature of China's traditional culture. Respecting the elderly in ancient times did not stop at thinking and preaching, nor did it stop at the lives of ordinary people. From the monarch, the gentry to the whole official and gentry class, a set of rules for respecting the elderly and a ritual system for supporting the elderly are being practiced and formed. The Book of Rites records: "The ancient way, fifty is not a disciple of the code, but an elder" (Note: The Book of Rites? Sacrifice righteousness "). In other words, people over 50 don't have to go hunting, but they have to get a rich share in the distribution of prey. Some ancient books also made clear requirements for the volume when talking to the elderly. For example, "Reading while Raising" said: "It is easy to calm your voice when you serve your parents. Don't yell at them because of trivial things "(note:" read when you are educated? Words "). Disciples' Rules also said: "Ignorance is not appropriate, but not appropriate". In a word, from kings and nobles to Shu Ren people, they should follow certain rules and express their filial piety to their elders in various ways, which is an important symbol to measure whether a person has self-cultivation. Any form of society needs to respect the elderly. Not only because the elderly have deep experience, wide knowledge and experience, long working hours and great contribution to society, they deserve respect; At the same time, they are physically and mentally poor and need the thoughtfulness, care and help of young people. As a polite modern youth, for the sake of the elderly and the elderly, Lu Yu should humbly give up his seat by bus. In shops, theaters and other public places, we should try our best to create convenient conditions for the elderly. During the Three Kingdoms period, there was an allusion about respecting the virtuous, which was called "three visits to the thatched cottage". It is said that Liu Bei appreciated Zhuge Liang's talent and asked him to help him conquer the world, so he took the trouble to personally invite him out of the mountain and live in Zhuge Liang's thatched cottage. Zhuge Liang agreed repeatedly. Since then, Zhuge Liang's talents have been brought into full play, and he devoted himself to Liu Bei's career until he died. Throughout the ancient history of China, most monarchs who made achievements attached great importance to respecting and using the virtuous, and regarded it as a decisive factor of national security. If you don't respect the sages at ordinary times, they won't share their worries for the country in an emergency. It's not that talented people don't think about the country, but that the country can't forget scholars for a long time, so "people who can survive in their own country never exist" (Note: "Mozi? Dear "). Today, we advocate carrying forward the ancient "ceremony of respecting the sages", and we must give the modern new concept of talents the content of respecting knowledge and talents. In today's society, all kinds of competition are becoming more and more fierce. All kinds of competition, in the final analysis, is the competition of talents. To maintain an advantageous position in the fierce competition, we must have a strong talent team. Only by respecting and caring for talents from thoughts to concrete actions can the whole society form a good environment for respecting knowledge and talents, and form a strong enough talent team to be invincible.
Second, musical instruments are still suitable for the Chinese nation, which has always paid attention to expressing people's rich inner feelings through appropriate forms. There are many established ceremonies for major festivals and events. If you get a bumper harvest, you should celebrate it with songs; When you are in trouble, pray for the blessing of the gods. Over time, many festivals and etiquette forms have been formed, such as Spring Festival, Lantern Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival and Double Ninth Festival. Almost every festival has its own specific customs. In ancient times, weddings, funerals, celebrations and other activities were regarded as major events in social life, and their etiquette was particularly meticulous, with specific provisions from clothing and utensils to specifications, procedures and etiquette. Today, the most important thing for us to maintain and carry forward the excellent etiquette civilization of the Chinese nation is propriety. That is to say, as Cheng Cheng advocated, "luxury is born in literature, and excessive literature is luxury, but not enough for frugality" (Volume 6 of Cheng Cheng Cheng Ji Shi Cheng Wai Shu). It can be seen that the scale of etiquette is appropriate and proper decoration is necessary, but excessive decoration will cause extravagance and waste, which deviates from the requirements of etiquette; It is also inappropriate to be too stingy and hinder the implementation of the ceremony. This view of the ancients is very incisive and has a guiding role for us to hold various ceremonies today. In today's social activities, it is still indispensable to hold various ceremonies. Companies open, children get married, and various festivals have different ceremonies. If we want to grasp the scale of various ceremonies, we must grasp the principle of moderation and combine the necessary ceremonies with modern civilization. Related activities are both grand and flashy. In particular, we should oppose extravagance and waste by taking advantage of weddings, funerals and celebrations; Oppose the view that the more grand the ceremony, the better and the more luxurious it is. Nowadays, many newlyweds are heavily in debt, which makes the wedding ostentatious, deceptive and jealous, causing great waste. Even some leading cadres, regardless of the influence, use power for personal gain for their children and accept large amounts of gifts, which encourages extravagance. This is not in line with our fine tradition, nor with our national conditions and people's feelings.
Third, be polite to others. In any civilized society, any civilized nation, people always attach great importance to politeness. Because politeness is one of the moral norms of human society to promote friendly and harmonious interpersonal communication, and it is also a bridge to build harmony with others. It marks the civilized process of a society and reflects the spiritual outlook of a nation. The Chinese nation has always attached great importance to observing etiquette rules and being polite to others. These interesting experiences, past and present, are very enlightening. Specifically, there are two main points:
(1) Be kind to others and get along with others, and be a good person first. And this "goodness" should be sincere from the heart, sincere in the middle and formal in appearance, not rhetoric and red tape. The Book of Rites says, "Those who treat their husbands with courtesy are ashamed of themselves and respect others" (Note: The Book of Rites? Qu Lishang "). It is not enough if you are respectful and enthusiastic on the surface, but hypocritical on the inside, or just respectful on the inside, but without expression. Should be consistent in appearance, in order to fundamentally eliminate the barriers and frictions between people, and then respect and care for each other and get along well with each other. To respect others, we must treat others equally, regardless of rank or rank. If you only pay homage to the upper class, take people with financial power and take people with interests, it is actually what villains do. The Analects of Confucius? Zi Han: Confucius saw people wearing mourning clothes, hats and clothes, and blind people. As soon as they met, even if these people were young, Confucius would stand up. When you walk in front of others, you must walk very fast to show your respect. The ancients also had some ways to respect others. First of all, we should respect the wishes of others, understand their needs and taboos, and don't force others to do so. Don't ask others to do what they can't do, and don't ask others to accept what they don't like. The ancients said: "Don't complain that others are not as good as yourself, don't be strong for others, and don't suffer from others' bad" (Note: "Wen Zi? Wei Xiang). "Don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you (Note: The Analects? Yan Yuan ")", that's what it means. Humor and well-meaning jokes can often bring people relaxed and happy in the communication with people, but never make fun of them. It is very disrespectful to make jokes about other people's names or give them indecent nicknames. In the Northern and Southern Dynasties, Yan Zhitui once commented on this disrespect and resentment: "Fools in this world play with each other. Or those who are called dolphins and calves, knowledgeable, onlookers, and want to cover their ears, the situation is right. "
(2) Courtesy is an important standard of courtesy to others. In other words, to accept the kindness of others, we must reciprocate with the same courtesy. In this way, interpersonal communication can go on in a virtuous circle in an equal and friendly way. Therefore, the Book of Rites said: "It is indecent to return the courtesy, but not to come; It is impolite to come instead of going "(Note: Book of Rites? Qu Lishang "). For the benefactor, it should be a drop of water, and the spring will repay each other. In the eyes of the ancients, nothing hurts more than ingratitude. Confucius said, "Good for good, good for people" and evil for good, then those who are punished will also be punished (Note: Book of Rites? Table "). It can be seen that "repaying kindness with kindness" is the basic moral cultivation of treating people with things. Of course, the politeness of communication should also be moderate. The original intention of giving gifts is to show respect and answer. The so-called gifts are light and heavy, not the more the better. Just like Zhuangzi? "Mountain Wood" said: "The friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, and the friendship between villains is as good as ever; A gentleman is indifferent to his relatives, but a villain is willing to give up. People who join for no reason will leave for no reason. "
Fourth, a person's appearance is the embodiment of his accomplishment and civilization. The ancients believed that solemn etiquette, moderation in advance and retreat, honoring deacons and being gentle and gentle can not only safeguard personal dignity, but also contribute to learning morality. Ancient thinkers once compared the fur of animals with the appearance of people. Animals without fur can't be animals. People lose their manners, that is, they are not people. The ancient people's requirements for musical instruments are inevitably too complicated. The most important of these are the following three aspects.
(1) Dress and appearance: Disciple's rules require: "The crown must be straight, the knot must be tied, and the socks and shoes must be tight." These norms are still necessary for modern people. Proper knotting of hats and strict cutting of shoes and socks are the basic requirements of the concept of musical instrument category. If a person is disheveled and his shoes and socks are not straight, it will often make people feel disgusted or even disgusting. Who will be close to such a person? Of course, the dress must be suitable for your occupation, age, physiological characteristics, living environment and the customs of the people you contact, and make a decent and generous choice. Make-up and affectation will only backfire.
(2) Behavior: Confucius said: "A gentleman is not strong if he is not heavy, and his knowledge is not solid" (Note: The Analects of Confucius? Learn and "). This is because only solemnity has majesty. Otherwise, even if you study, you can't consolidate it. The specific requirements are "stand like a pine, sit like a bell, walk like the wind and lie like a bow", that is, stand straight, sit steady, move neatly and sleep sideways. Don't be frivolous and profane in public, but be solemn, cautious and calm, and do "see no evil, don't listen to indecent assault, don't speak indecent assault, don't move indecent assault" (Note: The Analects of Confucius? Yan yuan), in line with etiquette norms everywhere. (3) Speech rhetoric: Language is a mirror of people's thoughts, emotions and cultural accomplishment. The ancients said that "words are sincere, so it is also a career" (Note: "Yi? Dry text "). It makes sense to take sincere revision of words as the foundation of career. But to "keep your word" (Note: The Analects? Lutz "). It is impossible to win the trust of a glib person. The second is to be cautious. The ancients said that man was born for heaven, and his tongue was tightly wrapped with two rows of teeth, and his lips were covered with a thick layer, which means that people must be careful what they say. Of course, the ancients did not ask people to talk less, but to speak according to the specific situation. Speak when you speak, and be silent when you are silent. Confucius said: "If you can speak without words, you will lose people;" "Don't talk to it in words, make a gaffe. He who knows does not lose people, nor does he lose words "(Note: The Analects of Confucius? Wei Linggong "). That's the truth.
The above aspects are the essence of traditional etiquette in China. Although the times have changed, the ancients' attention to gfd and their requirements for neatness and beauty are still worth learning today. External image is a silent language, which reflects a person's moral cultivation and also conveys a person's internal attitude towards the whole life. He has an elegant appearance. Wherever he goes, he brings the spring breeze of civilization there and is respected by people. There is no doubt that traditional etiquette civilization has a positive impact on the social and historical development of our country. Generally speaking, the more civilized and polite people are, the more harmonious and stable society will be. If each of us is well educated, polite and disciplined, our life will be happier, and the country and society will be more orderly and civilized. From this perspective, etiquette has played a role that politics and law can't. For a long time, the essence and dross of a large number of etiquette culture are in a state of mutual penetration and coexistence, and the dross of etiquette culture has a negative effect that cannot be underestimated. We ignore the traditional etiquette and civilization, a precious spiritual wealth. For a long time, society and schools have not paid enough attention to etiquette education, and many uncivilized behaviors have also increased. In today's socialist spiritual civilization construction, we should base ourselves on absorbing the essence of national culture, make the traditional civilized etiquette serve the present and rebuild a set of modern civilized etiquette.
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The function of etiquette
Etiquette is based on people's life and social interaction. People can correctly grasp the scale of communication between people and the outside world according to various etiquette norms, and rationally handle the relationship between good people and people. Without these etiquette norms, people will often be at a loss in communication, and even be rude to others and make jokes. Therefore, if you are familiar with and master the etiquette, you can draw inferences from others and treat people just right.
Etiquette is an important means to shape the image. In social activities. Pay attention to etiquette in conversation; Can become civilized; Manners and manners can become elegant; Dress appropriately and be polite, and you will become generous; If you pay attention to manners, you can become beautiful ... as long as you pay attention to manners, everything will be done just right. In short, if a person pays attention to etiquette, he can become charming.