Every child can become an extraordinary genius. Whether a child can become a genius depends on whether the mayor and teachers can love, expect and educate him like geniuses.
Rosenthal effect
1968 Rosenthal, an American educator, circled the names of several students in the roster of various grades in a school: "These students will have the most development in the future." A few years later, the follow-up survey showed that, sure enough, these students were the most successful.
It turned out that the list he provided to the teacher was purely randomly selected, without reference to the knowledge level and intelligence level of the students. But through the hint of "authority", he strengthened the teacher's confidence in the students on the list and mobilized the teacher's unique feelings. Although teachers have not made these lists public, hidden emotions can nourish students' hearts through their eyes, smiles and tones. Let students become more confident and self-reliant. Rosenthal took a psychological expectation test. Psychology calls this phenomenon of enhancing self-confidence and exerting individual's greatest potential through encouragement and respect "Rosenthal effect". In Greek mythology, the king of Cyprus, Pirimmarion, loved the female statues he carved. I implore the Greek goddess to awaken this beautiful woman she sculpted, hoping that she can survive. As a result, the statue really became a beauty, and all the predictions and hopes were realized. Therefore, Rosenthal effect is also called "Pimarion effect". On the contrary, the irony and negative portrayal of an ordinary person will also promote this person to sink and fall.
The essence of "Rosenthal effect" is that we must attach importance to the role of psychological factors in the educational process. Children need support, encouragement and praise and full psychological enjoyment. Psychopedagogy points out that confident people are easy to succeed in the face of the same challenges and competitive conditions, so children should be encouraged to make every progress. Affirmation is a psychological "enhancer", and the evaluation of children should be based on affirmation, rather than blindly criticizing and accusing. If parents often tell their children that he is terrible in some way, this "psychological set" will become a reality in their children sooner or later. Criticism is not impossible, but it should be aimed at the wrong behavior and cannot be completely denied.
Rosenthal effect enlightens us: as parents, when educating their children, we must know how to give them confidence, give them affirmation and let them give full play to their advantages.
Once a person is framed to a level. He will subconsciously and constantly strongly hint at himself, get rid of his inferiority complex, give full play to his potential, treat people around him with special respect and attach great importance to him. All kinds of care naturally greatly promoted his development to the level of framing. Luo, a native of Yiwu, Zhejiang Province, was one of the four outstanding figures in the early Tang Dynasty. At the age of five, he could write poems and sing Goose Goose Goose. White hair floating green water. The good poem "Green Wave in the Red Palm Play" is known as a child prodigy. Sure enough, he later became a famous poet in the Tang Dynasty.
The Rosenthal effect proves three reasons: first, people's IQ and ability can be "activated" by external forces; Second, trust and expectation are the basic elements of "activating" people's IQ and ability; Third, encourage good children.
Encourage your children and cultivate their self-confidence. Your expectations will largely determine their future. As the famous human resource management expert Livingston once said, "The difference between a lady and flower girl lies not in her behavior, but in how people treat her."
The frog climbed up the oil tank.
Once upon a time, two little frogs accidentally fell into a jar. The jar is full of sticky oil. They want to jump out, the oil is too sticky; Trying to climb out, the wall is too slippery. I tried several times, but nothing came of it. Frog a thought: it seems that there is no hope today! What bad luck. Frog B thinks: My limbs are very tired. But keep swimming. It'll work out. Just when frog B could hardly row, his hind leg hit the solid edge of the altar, and he jumped out quickly and was saved. Frog A died tragically on the altar.
Frog A is depressed and blames others. Passive waiting; Frog B exudes the charm of self-confidence. He won't sit still. As a result, the winding path leads to a secluded place.
From a psychological point of view, people have been accumulating self-confidence all their lives. A baby has learned to climb, stand, run and speak, and every success will bring him a little confidence. Self-confidence is a person's confidence in his own ability and an important psychological quality. With self-confidence, a person can move towards his ideal goal, not afraid of difficulties and failure. If a person lacks self-confidence, when he encounters difficulties and setbacks, he will shrink back and give up halfway.
If children want to become outstanding talents, they must first have outstanding self-confidence. No successful person at all times and all over the world is not confident. Their initial self-confidence often comes from the encouragement of their parents and elders.
People live in beautiful expectations and often hear the language of expectations. For example, "this child is really smart" and "he will be very promising when he grows up", children often take this expectation for granted and are particularly intoxicated, and unconsciously gradually think that they are really smarter than others, thus making great progress.
The world-famous Italian singer Pavarotti was a child. Grandma often holds him in her lap and says to him, "You will become a great man, and you will soon understand." His father often says that he has great potential in singing. With the encouragement of his family, Pavarotti believed that he would succeed in singing. As a result, his wish really came true. When we are very confident, we will adjust to a most positive and active state psychologically and physically. Fill yourself with strong fighting spirit. Really achieve a goal as others expect.
In America, parents always take cultivating their children's self-confidence as their primary task. From attending classes to studying in class, from choosing topics to choosing favorite homework, we all fully trust our children and let them decide for themselves. For example, it is challenging for adults to encourage their children to study the development history of their country and nation. Children do it themselves, collect all kinds of information by going to the library, surfing the internet and visiting, find problems by themselves and find ways to solve them by themselves. When children come up with thick papers, although they are a little naive, they gain a lot-they enjoy the joy of research and learning and enhance their self-confidence in the process.
Many children are afraid after experiencing setbacks and failures. Most of this fear does not come from doing something wrong or failing, but from the feeling of being accused, reprimanded and not recognized by parents, teachers and peers. In fact, life is full of failures and setbacks. Let children dare to face up to their shortcomings and strive to give full play to their strengths. Don't be afraid of children making mistakes, every mistake. This is another opportunity to learn.
Stephen Gray is a very accomplished scientist. When he was a child, he once took milk from the refrigerator and his hand slipped. The bottle fell to the ground and broke, and the milk spilled all over the floor. Instead of yelling at him or punishing him, his mother said, "Wow! The white clouds you drew on the ground with milk are great! Anyway, the milk has been spilled. Do you want to play in the milk for a few more minutes before cleaning it up? " The child did this. After a few minutes, my mother said, "Shall we clean the floor together?" So Steven Gray obediently cleaned the floor with her mother. His mother went on to say, "son, now let's fill the bottle with water and see if you can hold it." Stephen Gray found that if you hold the bottle with both hands, it won't fall. Years later, Stephen Gray said: From this moment on, I understand that there is no need to be afraid of making mistakes. Errors are opportunities for learning.
Confident children grow up with encouragement and learn to accept themselves; Children who are not confident will get too many denials and accusations in their daily lives.
Helping children improve their self-worth is the responsibility of parents and the wealth that children enjoy all their lives. The foundation of self-worth is self-confidence, and only self-confident people can have a truly happy life. A boy reads a car magazine at home on weekends. He was happy for a while and said to his father, "When I grow up, I will buy you a Mercedes-Benz and a BMW for my mother." His father put down his book and called his wife who was cooking. While reading cars in magazines, they discussed how to learn to drive. My son didn't expect his parents to take his madness seriously. The father sincerely said to his son, "son, we believe you." First of all, you are a clever boy. Although your grades are not very good now, we firmly believe that you will get into a good university and have a good job through your own efforts. Secondly, we trust you. You have been kind since childhood and know how to honor your elders. If you really have the strength, you will certainly fulfill today's promise. "
The boy kept a diary with tears to remind himself at all times. His parents helped their children realize their abilities in time and gave them positive and accurate support. I believe that in his future life, he will always remember his parents' expectations and face all kinds of difficulties and challenges in life with confidence and strength.
Successful parents are artists who praise their children.
Children's growth needs the encouragement of their parents. In real life, when parents encourage their children, they often just say things like "come on" and "work hard" without saying how to do it. However, for those children who have been diligent, hard-working and struggling, simply saying "hard work" is at a loss as to how to become a higher level in the future.
If you can ask specific questions when encouraging children. Then the children will know what to do after listening, and they can work hard that day.
In ancient times, there was a victorious general. Winning the battle has become a common occurrence for him. When someone flatters him and says, "You will go down in history as a strategist." He doesn't think so. He's not happy at all. Once, someone praised him for his beautiful beard, and the general beamed with joy.
The general certainly didn't notice it himself, but in his subconscious, he must think his beard is very beautiful, so when someone praises his beard, he will feel extremely happy.
If parents praise their children in a different way-such as grasping the main points or "doing what they like", the children will feel happy and excited from the heart and feel that their parents are really meticulous. Even noticed this aspect. Parents' concern will make them study harder tomorrow.
On the contrary, praising children abstractly will make them lose trust in their parents. When a child gets a high score in the exam, if only one sentence is said: "Good exam." Then it is not surprising that children will take this praise for granted. In this way, even if you keep getting high marks in the future, your child's self-motivation will disappear.
Compared with blame, many parents think that praise needs no skill and is actually artistic. A mother said that when she blamed her child, she could say it painfully, but when she praised her child, although she put on a good posture, she didn't know what to say.
Give the simplest example. Parents like to praise their children's paintings, which is a good thing in itself. However, if the way of praise is too casual, it will be counterproductive. For example, a picture of a child says, "Like Picasso, you can win a prize by participating in the competition." Such exaggerated praise will spoil the children's interest, even if it is not the mother. This kind of praise is like explicit flattery, which potentially means "your painting is like this", which is unacceptable to children.
The correct way is to evaluate the moving parts of this painting, such as "the color of the sky is very interesting" or "this face is painted like dad" It is very important to make a moderate evaluation seriously. Moreover, we should not only evaluate this well-painted place, but also point out what progress the child's painting has made compared with before, and encourage the child to continue to work hard, so as to encourage the child to have greater enthusiasm. For example, "You draw better than before" or "The leaves of this tree are painted very carefully. Very good "and so on.
Anyway. Praise must be sincere. If children feel the hypocrisy of praise, it is easy to cause psychological harm to children. Only by carrying out extremely meticulous and thoughtful evaluation can we increase children's trust in their parents and increase the effect of evaluation.
Parents have the responsibility to stimulate their children's imagination and teach them codes of conduct and useful things. Therefore, it is very important for parents to use some skills to help them do this job better.
Praise applies to all children, which can be said to be the basic principle and method of family education for children. No matter which country, successful parents know this well and are artists who praise their children.