As parents of children, children must have trusted us unconditionally since childhood, but do we really trust our children unconditionally as parents?
I have a friend's child, who is usually at the bottom of the class. In an exam a year ago, his grades suddenly entered the top ten of the class. When my friend told me, he didn't believe me. I told my friends that maybe Xiao worked hard during that time. My friend interrupted me directly, "I don't know him yet. For him, active learning is more difficult than anything else. I don't know who copied it. "
Finally, a friend came home and asked = tell the child directly that no matter who copied it, it will not be allowed next time. My friend cried all night in the house. My friend's husband went to school the next day to ask the child about his recent performance. The teacher spoke highly of the child, saying that he was very active in class. After class, he also asked questions from teachers and classmates, which changed a lot. Moreover, the examination room has also been monitored, so you can still see the school without copying it.
When my friend found out, he blamed himself and thought about apologizing after school at night. Although the child accepted the apology and said nothing, in another test, the child's performance returned to the bottom of the class.
Children trust our parents, but our parents don't trust them in turn. The distrust of parents is very serious harm to children.
In China, many families have a strange logic. Parents always scold their children first when they are bullied outside. For example,' Did you get into trouble first?' How can you bully you if you don't make trouble?' Did you hang out with those bad kids? How could you be bullied by him? Look at your worthless strength.
This is also a distrust of children. Children are bullied outside, and they have to bear the blame of their parents when they go home. This kind of treatment will only lead children to distrust their parents more and more, unwilling to say anything to their parents, unwilling to communicate with their parents, and unwilling to let children enter their inner world.
It is inevitable for parents to educate their children. If children erect a heart wall, don't want their parents to get close to them and don't communicate with them, it will be very unfavorable to their parents' education. Even after puberty, children may be rebellious, and parents can't control them if they want to.
The world of children is actually very simple. When I was young, my parents were my children's world. Children's love and trust for their parents is innate and unconditional.
When our parents ask their children, "Why don't you trust me and communicate with us?" Have you ever thought that "trust" is a two-way street? Children need to be trusted by their parents before they can trust their parents, but have you given them the trust to continue to communicate?
Children are not born unwilling to communicate with their parents, but their parents themselves cause them to be unwilling to communicate with their parents. Parents' reproach and distrust destroyed children's initial trust in their parents.
As parents, we give our children full trust, which is the premise of educating them well and an indispensable condition for cultivating them into excellent talents. Because children are willing to tell their parents what they think only after they feel their parents' trust. Only by trusting each other can parents and children communicate well.
Only when parents can find their children's shortcomings and mistakes as early as possible and help them correct them in time can children be willing to accept their parents' advice and guidance, correct their mistakes and grow up healthily.
Children trusted by their parents can fly higher.
The author has been engaged in educational consultation 12 years, and has met many teachers who are very good at solving family education problems, and they often do some public welfare consultation. Parents who need free consultation can click on my avatar and send "free consultation" by private message. I'll give you the contact information of a reputable teacher!