Hans' mother said: Because of the busy work, the work of taking care of children is mainly helped by her in-laws. But now that the child is going to primary school, it is discovered that the child has developed a bad habit. Sometimes when I see my child doing something wrong, I rush to educate and correct it, but my mother-in-law quit.
Angel's mother said: Recently, when her mother-in-law came, she found that her children were becoming more and more unruly. Now, her daughter's affection for her grandmother is far better than mine as a mother. At night, I will cry and sleep with my grandmother. A little girl who was originally quite independent felt that the longer she walked, the more she regressed. Everything needs her grandmother to go.
Jia Jia's mother said: Most children are brought up by their mother-in-law, but although the children are five years old now, they still perform poorly in all aspects compared with their peers. Sometimes I want to be a strict mother to discipline my children. Old people at home always protect their children and find that there is no dignity in front of them.
Angel's mother: I can't stand the old people at home now. Every time children are not given snacks and carbonated drinks, the old people always give them behind my back. Sometimes when I'm not at home, children can watch cartoons all day, saying it's bad for their eyes, but old people always spoil their children and think they're crazy!
The troubles of living with the elderly
Living with the old man, the young couple had a good time. Every day, people help clean and take care of children, and even three meals a day can be provided in various ways. Not to mention that life is like a lady, at least I don't have to work around the stove after work.
However, almost all young parents who live with the elderly have the same problem, that is, the elderly are too protective of their grandchildren when it comes to educating their children. Many mothers have complained that the elderly always have to help replace the housework that children can do independently. Sometimes the child does something wrong, and the mother wants to establish dignity and educate the child well, but the child will run to his grandparents' arms and pretend to be poor. At this time, the old man always said that children are still young, and when they grow up, they can naturally distinguish right from wrong. The most terrible thing is to take out the model of educating her husband in those days-without education, she became a natural talent.
I usually have a good relationship with my in-laws, but the "justifying a fault" for my in-laws often drives my mother crazy. I want to have a big fight and make a clear position, but I'm afraid I'll hurt my peace. The strength is not enough, and your words are ignored by the children. Of course, in addition, what makes the young mother depressed is that she obviously plays the bad guy to educate her children, but in the end her grandparents become good people. Older babies feel that their mothers are fierce and evil to themselves, so they ignore their mothers, but they are closer to their grandparents, which makes it difficult for them to be mothers.
How to break the old people's interference in parents' education?
1. Communicate with the elderly more? Know one's own interests
Young parents should communicate with the elderly at home, learn from each other, learn from each other's strengths, resolve the differences and contradictions between the two generations in parenting, and make some compromises and concessions to each other. Although the baby is still young, it is an important period for the development of habits and personality. Young parents should let the old people distinguish the difference between love and doting, and should not be too indulgent and doting. You know, being naked will only make children more and more unruly, and at the same time, it will also make parents lose their dignity in proper discipline, which will eventually delay the healthy growth of children. If the mother's communication is ineffective, in order to avoid the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is necessary to give full play to the role of husband at this time.
2. Establish a United front for the whole family.
On the issue of educating children, all family members should reach a United front, and parents must not be busy with discipline, and the elderly should follow suit. Parents and the elderly should reach an agreement through consultation. When disciplining children, it is best for the elderly to stay out of it and try to safeguard their parents' dignity in front of them, so that children will not be xenophobic and know how to respect their parents. Secondly, even if there are differences between the two sides, don't expose them in front of the children. This will only make the children feel a little lucky when they make mistakes.
Be brave and stick to your point of view
On the issue of educating children, we will never compromise on principles. Although this is too selfless, you must establish your majesty in your child's heart and let him know not to violate the bottom line. Some parents spit, and whenever they educate their children, the elderly always come out to interfere. I want to say that even if the old people get involved, they should bravely stick to their own views. Don't interrupt normal education just because the other person is an old man. This will only make children feel that no matter what mistakes they make, they have a backer. Of course, in order to avoid aggravating family conflicts, parents can avoid their children, actively communicate with the elderly afterwards, accept the advice of the elderly with an open mind, and minimize positive conflicts.