The competition between parents for their children's education is increasingly fierce, but the language of parents and caregivers, a huge treasure house of educational resources, has long been ignored by the public. This book will guide parents how to use language to help their children build a strong learning brain in their daily conversations, so that children will no longer "lose at the starting line".

Reading and harvesting

Understand the real reasons for the gap in children's academic performance.

The importance of understanding the early language environment

"3T principle" parent-child communication skills that can optimize children's brains.

Language patterns that can strengthen children's learning ability

Selected golden sentences

1. Essentially, the core of brain development lies in the interaction between a baby and a caring adult who can respond positively.

2. If parents just cram simple words into their children's minds, no matter how they pretend, they can't match the college level.

Without strong executive function and self-control, it is unscientific to rely on "intelligence" factors to fight alone.

Brief introduction of the author

Dana Suskind

Professor of Gynecology and Pediatrics, University of Chicago, Head of Cochlear Implant Program for Children, Founder and Director of "30 Million Vocabulary Initiative" of University of Chicago Medical College. She was awarded the "Outstanding Project Innovation Leader" by the University of Chicago School of Medicine, and was one of the founders of the White House "Ending the Achievement Gap" initiative. This book is the crystallization of her 30 years of scientific research, which has aroused great repercussions in American academic and educational circles.

Jinghua Du Jie

The following content is the essence of the book "Parents' Language" for the reference of book lovers. Welcome to share. It shall not be used for commercial purposes without permission.

catalogue

First, the vocabulary gap of 30 million.

Second, language shapes the brain.

Third, optimize the brain of parent-child communication mode-3T principle.

Upper guide bearing

First, the vocabulary gap of 30 million.

1. The operation was successful, and then what?

The author, Dr. Dana Suskind, made a strange discovery in the research project of cochlear implant: Zach and Michelle, two patients with cochlear implant, had completely different rehabilitation results after successful operation. Zach is lively and cheerful, studying in public schools, and his reading level has reached the normal third grade level; Michelle, who is also in the third grade, has to study in a "special classroom". She only knows simple sign language, speaks a little, and her reading ability only reaches kindergarten level.

The author, Dr. Saskind, is puzzled: they obviously have the same intelligence, love their parents, are born deaf, and have been treated with high-end instruments. Why is the gap so big?

2. The root cause of children's learning differences

After a lot of long-term investigation and data collection, the author Dr. Saskind found the decisive influence of early language environment on children. In other words, the socio-economic status of parents can not affect the quality of children's learning, but the language used by parents when talking with their children is the most critical factor.

Two scholars, Betty Hart and Todd Risley, have studied for three years, which proves that when children reach the age of three, children from mental workers' families hear 32 million more words than children from welfare families. In addition, families with high socioeconomic status reprimand their children less and use more positive words, such as "you are great"; Families with low socioeconomic status prefer to use taboo words and negative words to their children, such as "You are wrong" and "You are terrible".

The area in the brain responsible for thinking and learning has already begun to play a role before the child is three years old. Missing the training of children's early language ability may cause the gap between children and others in future study.

Compared with the above data, it seems that the socioeconomic status of the family plays a decisive role in children's learning ability, but after analyzing children's early language learning experience, we can find that the socioeconomic status of the family has certain influence, but it is not absolute.

No matter what family background, every child has unlimited potential to be developed, but the degree of development of these potentials has been enlarged by the vocabulary of more than 30 million in the early language environment.

Second, language shapes the brain.

It should be emphasized that the gap of 30 million words does not mean 30 million different words, but the total amount of speech including those repeated words. On the other hand, even without scientific proof, we know that repetitive and meaningless words, such as "shut up" for 30 million times, are not good for children. Among these words, language richness, complexity, diversity and "positive feedback" are the most important factors.

But first we need to understand: Why do parents' words have so much energy?

65438+

Each of us is born with 1000 billion neuron potentials, which can be converted into many different potentials. However, these neurons need critical nerve-like connections, just as countless independent telephone booths need connecting wires.

From birth to three years old, the brain produces 700~ 1000 extra nerve-like connections every second. But if such a large number of nerve-like connections are preserved for a long time, the brain will be overwhelmed. Therefore, our brain will eliminate unnecessary nerve-like connections and eliminate weak or uncommon parts through a process called synaptic reduction.

Our brains have long been shaped by the environment, and the best example is language learning. When we were babies, we were real "citizens of the world". In the heyday of neuroplasticity, the baby's brain can distinguish the sounds of each language, including the vowel changes in German, the pinyin in Chinese, the slight sonic boom in Marseille and other complex and subtle differences. However, before the end of one year, children have shown their loyalty to the pronunciation of their mother tongue.

The early language environment of children, that is, the language environment provided by parents, largely determines the development of innate potential. The magical function of parents' language goes far beyond simple vocabulary introduction. This is a necessary stimulus to determine the superiority and durability of a specific neuronal circuit and to prune other neuronal circuits.

Judging from the vocabulary and the way parents talk to their children, parents' language will have a far-reaching impact on children's mathematical ability, spatial reasoning, their own behavioral constraints and moral quality.

2. Different nourishment of digital space vocabulary

Parents' simple mathematical vocabulary input has the magic power to improve children's mathematical ability without deliberate and profound training.

Professor Susan Levin and her colleagues conducted a follow-up study on about 44 children 14~30 months and their families. When watching the recorded video, the professor found that in the same time period, some children only heard four words related to mathematics, while others heard more than 250 words related to mathematics. After a year's accumulation, the vocabulary gap of these children listening to mathematics is as high as 654.38+ 10,000.

In the subsequent math proficiency test, children who heard more math vocabulary undoubtedly performed better. A similar situation also appeared in another space skill assessment conducted by Professor Susan Levin. Children who hear more spatial words show an advantage in the test.

This is not because they are smarter, but because of the vocabulary they are exposed to. Through language, the extraordinary ability of the brain can be transformed into a broader and more complex understanding and other abilities than what language actually conveys, helping children lay the foundation for future study.

However, this effective way of nourishing mathematics vocabulary bypasses girls.

A study on mothers found that daughters under the age of two received half as much math discussion as sons, and one-third as much discussion on basic figures as boys. In the face of actual math scores, mothers have always overestimated their sons' math ability and underestimated their daughters' math ability. Mothers are also more inclined to let their sons participate in mathematics activities, thus increasing their sons' participation and interest in mathematics. Another study with primary school teachers as samples shows that women will pass on their anxiety about mathematics to girls.

In the first stage of a girl's life, the prejudice of parents and society against her mathematical ability hindered her from developing her mathematical potential, and even vaguely told her, "Mathematics is not your specialty." When your self-image is "a person with poor math scores", you will face difficulties in math learning.

Language has both positive cultivation and negative influence.

3. Cultivate growth-oriented thinking

Children will inevitably be influenced by the language that is not conducive to their growth in the surrounding environment, which requires parents and educators to help them overcome. The "growth thinking mode" is a sharp weapon, that is, to help children form the concept that "hard work is the key factor to obtain results, lack of ability is not the cause of failure, but giving up is".

The "growth thinking mode" holds that intelligence can be improved through various challenges. It can help children to keep a positive attitude in the face of bad stereotypes or prejudices in society.

1998 An important study by Professor Dwek, who is in charge of the research on "Growth Thinking Mode", shows that praising the simple process can stimulate children's desire to actively respond to challenges.

He let 128 fifth-grade students solve a difficult problem. After the exam, he praised some students as "smart" and others as "hardworking". Then she gave two choices. One is to ask students to answer a more difficult question and tell them that they will "learn more from it". Another option is a topic that is almost as difficult as the first one. 65% of the students praised as "smart" chose topics with similar difficulty, while 92% of the students praised as "hard" chose topics with more difficult challenges.

Parents have formed a "praise style" before the child 14 months old, that is, they have chosen whether to praise the child's intelligence or hard work. Scholars have found that children who are often praised by the process before the age of three are more likely to have a growth-oriented thinking mode. Having this mode of thinking will help children resist the risk of self-stereotype that seriously affects their academic performance, and let them make greater progress without fear of self-challenge.

People who think they are naturally "smart" are more likely to give up when faced with something that can't be done, because they are "not smart enough", or the matter is not important, or someone is behind it. Professor Dwek said: "If praise is not used correctly, it will become a negative force, an anesthetic that makes students negative and dependent on other people's opinions." This is what parents need to be alert to.

4. Self-regulation and executive function

Self-control is also one of the important factors affecting academic performance. Vygotsky, a former Soviet psychologist, pointed out that the development of children's self-regulation ability depends on the people who take care of them. Caregivers pass on cultural norms to children in daily communication and teach them to change from "slaves of the environment" to "masters of self-behavior". Language skills play an important role in this transformation.

Experiments show that even if children are still in infancy, they can cultivate their self-regulation ability as long as they hear natural sound sequences without understanding the language content.

An ideal caregiver can help children become independent. If the caregiver asks, "What should we do after playing with toys?" This can have a great impact on children's self-regulation and executive function. Because this sentence supports children's autonomy in toys.

When parents encourage their children to control their behavior, explain the rules to them and educate them not to be emotional, their self-regulation ability will be improved. Therefore, parents should avoid "imperative" language, such as reprimanding and demanding; Instead, we should use the language of "hints and hints" to discipline children and guide them to put forward opinions or choices. For example, talk to children in a "causal thinking" way.

Causal thinking makes children understand that every behavior stems from a rational purpose, prompting children to explore the cause and effect of things. Children with causal thinking can understand that people should do things in the right way at the right time. Maybe children can't reach a consensus with their parents immediately, but causal thinking will slowly seep into their minds, and they can say "no" to misconduct without anyone's reminder in the future.

5. Establishment of moral values

Kindness is actually a very pragmatic decision. The author of The Wharton School's Most Popular Successful Course points out that people who are kind, dedicated and do not expect anything in return will not only get the best praise, but also have a thriving career. "Good people are rewarded" has its scientific basis.

Parents' language has an influence on children's tolerance and good moral behavior. Although cultivating children's growth thinking requires parents' praise based on behavior, in order to help children become kind, parents need to praise themselves at this time.

The study found that when a group of children aged 3-6 were asked to "help" clean, the children who were asked to "help" were more willing to participate. Another study shows that adults who are asked not to lie are less likely to cheat than adults who are asked not to lie, and groups who are asked not to lie will not cheat at all.

The subtle difference between nouns and verbs is that nouns are like a mirror, allowing us to see our true selves. So when children do something wrong, parents should say "you did a very bad thing" instead of "you are so bad". This can make them understand that they are "kind" and only make a mistake that can be redeemed, instead of making them feel negative and bad.

Third, optimize the brain of parent-child communication mode-3T principle.

We already know that a rich language environment is very important for the development of babies and children's brains. In order to help parents build a good language environment for their children, the author and her team have developed a set of scientific and easy-to-operate parent-child communication methods: 3T principle, that is, tune in, speak more and take turns.

1. The first test: empathy.

The first step for parents to use language to develop their children's brains is to attract their children's attention in a sympathetic way and then give them a response.

Children are less responsible than adults and will focus on the assigned tasks. They don't have strong execution ability, and they are only willing to pay attention to what they are interested in. If children are unwilling to take part in an activity, it is difficult for them to learn vocabulary in this activity.

Child-oriented language is a good way to attract children's attention. Children-oriented language is also called baby language, that is, a way of speaking that exaggerates pronunciation like children. Compared with adult language, children's language has more beautiful tone, more moving rhythm and simpler wording. According to a recent study, if babies at the age of 1 1~ 14 months have always accepted language for children, they can master twice as many words as babies who accepted adult language at the age of two. Only by attracting the baby's ears first can he notice the content of the speech.

Empathy is the most subtle principle, which requires parents to consciously observe what their children are paying attention to and tell them when the time is ripe. In other words, parents pay attention to what children pay attention to. Even if the child's focus has been changing, parents should follow this principle and respond to the child's behavior in time.

A large number of research reports show that if a newborn cries alone, his brain will be negatively affected, resulting in weak learning ability, poor emotional management ability and self-control, and unable to trust others. Seriously, it will also lead to other health hazards during growth.

2. The second test: full communication

Communicate with children more.

The purpose of communication is not scattered words, but to let children master classified vocabulary and learn how to use it. If parents expose their children to a wide range of vocabulary, their language level will reach a new height after many years. The following four ways can make parents greatly increase their children's vocabulary input.

(1) Describe daily activities.

That is, while working, describe what you are doing.

For children, when they hear a word, they immediately know what it means. This can not only expand children's vocabulary, but also let children clearly know the connection between vocabulary pronunciation and meaning.

When teaching children to brush their teeth, parents can say:

"It's time to brush your teeth. Who will come first? "

"Find your toothbrush! Yours is purple and dad's is green. "

"Now we are going to squeeze toothpaste on the toothbrush."

"Come, a little crowded. Well done! "

"Well, now ready to brush your teeth, start to brush, from top to bottom. And brush your tongue. "

(2) No pronouns

Appellation has a very important influence on children's vocabulary awareness and cognitive understanding.

If someone says to you, "Can you go there and bring that back?" Even adults will be puzzled. Similarly, when parents and children say pronouns, children are easily confused, which is not conducive to children's exposure to more vocabulary. The richer the corpus that children are exposed to, the stronger their ability to understand words and meanings, and the more handy they are to use.

(3) training "language out of context"

When children are young, they talk about what is happening now; When they are a little older, they will use language to describe things they have never seen or experienced at present. This kind of language is called "language taken out of context", which is an unrealistic communication. This is an important sign of children's intelligence improvement, which requires the speaker to have advanced thinking, information processing ability and reaction ability. It is self-evident that the cultivation of this kind of higher-order ability is important for children's brain development.

Parents can use words that are familiar to both sides for "language out of context" training. For example, talk to your child about the experience of doing something together, your favorite toys, friends you used to know, and so on. In this case, children have to understand unknown concepts according to their own vocabulary level.

If he can understand and deal with "language taken out of context" well, then he has nothing to worry about at school.

(4) "extended sentences"

Sentence expansion refers to the expansion of language content, which is derived from the context of "full communication". This is an expansion way to help children complete their expressions at the existing vocabulary level and conduct more complicated and in-depth dialogues. If you want your child to speak complex sentences, he must first hear such language often.

The specific operation is to increase the number of words to reply to children. Children say a word, parents had better return two or three sentences; If the child says three words, the parents answer with short sentences.

Child: "hug me, hug me!" " "

You: "Do you want your father to pick you up?"

Over time, this father-son dialogue will evolve into:

"Dad, I'm so tired. Pick me up. "

3. the third t: take turns talking

Conversation in turn is not only the golden rule of parent-child communication, but also the most important part of the 3T principle, which plays a decisive role in children's brain development.

In order to make the parent-child interaction of "you come and I go" develop successfully, the key is that parents must wait patiently for their children's response. Children who grow up from infancy may begin to say things that their parents don't understand, which may be self-created or incomplete pronunciation. At this time, parents must seize the voice message, respond seriously, and give their children more time when answering, so that the children can search for the words they respond to. This is a key step in "speaking in turn".

Not all words are conducive to the development of the conversation. Parents should ask more open questions, not limited questions. "What is this?" "What color is this ball?" "What did the cow say?" Asking questions such as definitions and categories is not conducive to the rotation of conversations and the accumulation of children's vocabulary. Similarly, interrogative sentences that can be answered with simple "yes" and "no" also have this problem. Children just need to search for familiar words in their minds without extra effort.

Open-ended questions can perfectly achieve the purpose of "taking turns". Parents only need to throw out "how to do" and "why", which is enough for children to think freely and independently in the world of thinking, and finally gradually learn to solve problems.

4. T in the digital age: Turn it off.

In the digital age, screens are attracting people's attention, and children are no exception. However, electronic products cannot replace the interaction and response given by parents.

Dr Patricia Kuhl's team exposed 9-month-old American babies to Mandarin. Half of them listen to Chinese spoken by real people, and the other half listen to Chinese played by audio or video equipment. After 12 experiment, the baby who heard the real person could distinguish the pronunciation of Mandarin, while the other half didn't respond. Similar experiments include letting children watch videos and demonstrating actions by real people. The result of the experiment is that only children who watch real people can imitate actions easily.

Electronic products, including televisions, tablets, smart phones and game consoles, do not conform to the 3T principle. They can't pay attention to their children, can't communicate with them, and can't take turns talking to them. Even if there is an interactive link that looks like education on TV, it is fixed. The American Academy of Pediatrics also believes that children under the age of two should not be allowed to watch TV or use technology products, and children after the age of two can enjoy one or two hours of screen time every day under supervision.

For children, language communication with parents and caregivers is a key factor in the learning process. Socialization is good for developing children's brains.

Practice of 5.3T principle

After understanding the scientific parent-child communication, parents can integrate rich and varied vocabulary into the language framework and use it flexibly in daily conversations. The following are some examples for parents' reference.

Dialogue on cultivating mathematical ability

Empathy problem:

You find that children want to dress themselves.

Full communication

"There are five buttons on your little pants. Can you help mom and dad count? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Ok, all five buttons are buttoned, now you can go to school! "

Take turns talking:

Let the children button up and you count.

Dialogue on Cultivating Space Ability

Empathy problem:

You find that children like a bathtub full of bubbles.

Full communication:

"Foam is like a huge white quilt. Look at the bubbles on your arm. They are in a straight line. Wow, look, I found a round bubble island. It is surrounded by water. Now the foam is slowly approaching your hand, but it is still far from your toes. "

Take turns talking:

"Look, your hands are full of bubbles. Besides you, where has the most bubbles? Now look at the shape of your towel. Yes, it is square. Look at the shape of soap. Yes, it is rectangular. Now we put the soap in the towel. You see, the square contains a rectangle. "

Dialogue between cultivating self-control and independent thinking

Empathy problem:

You notice that the child who just got up is eager to see his grandfather.

Full communication:

"Come, let's get dressed and go to see grandpa for a while. Here is a purple skirt and a pink one. Purple ones are embroidered with beautiful flowers, while pink ones have lotus leaves. "

Take turns talking:

"Which one do you want to wear?"

"Pink? I thought you wanted purple! "

"Do you like this skirt because it has pockets?"

"I see, so you can put the candy grandpa gave you in."

"Pink is the best, because it is most suitable for turning around."

conclusion

On the surface, this book is about the plasticity of children's brains and intelligence, but its core is the important and powerful role of parents. The gap of 30 million words implies the importance of language in children's brain development. This is an unprecedented opportunity for us to realize the great power of language, which can help children to eliminate the achievement gap, tap their potential and greet life with a smile.